What do I do? I feel lost and confused

[JanePulido]

So last year I got with this guy that seemed really nice, and he was…only thing, he dumped me in a month and I harbored negative feelings towards him for months afterwards…at the same time, there was this guy that’s been pursuing me since freshman year. I knew he would be my boyfriend in an instant and I was feeling lonely…I also convinced myself I could like him…so I got with him. But it felt wrong…he then decided he wanted to be honest with me and told me he used to be addicted to porn and was struggling with stopping masturbation…which really creeped me, even though he said he changed. So I dumped him in a month…which made me feel guilty for being angry with the first guy for dumping me in the same amount of time…by this time it was the end of my sophomore year and the summer started. I realized I really really missed the guy I just decided to leave and even wrote poetry about the emotional situation I put myself in. By the time this school year started up again I felt like I really cared for this guy. Another problem is my parents want me dating Catholics and this guy is Baptist…so when I meet this senior (a Catholic) who understood me on a more intellectual level, I felt like I could like him, even though I knew I didn’t. I guess I kinda led him on when I learned he had feelings for me and still does. When I realized I couldn’t be doing this anymore, somehow I made the decision to tell him I didn’t like him and get with the Baptist for a second time (all in the same week). I’ve been with this guy for about a month now and of course the kids at school are calling me fickle hearted. I’ve also been having a hard time since I have a class with this senior. We can’t even talk to each other in person too well anymore. I’ve been to confession two or three times now…none of the decisions I’ve made lately seem like me and I used to pray so much…now I feel so disconnected and when I try to pray it feels wrong…I don’t even know if I like the guy I’m with anymore even though he’s really sweet and treats me wonderfully. What now? I’ve made terrible decisions and I’m only in high school…

 

[Inego_de_Loyola]

Perhaps you ought to step back from things. It sounds like you are making major life changing decisions without consulting God in serious prayer or seeking the counsel of the wiser people in your life. I am worried that you are treating dating like a game skipping from one boyfriend to another with every change in the winds that are one’s emotions.

Do you know that the first question should always be, “is this Gods will for my life?” God loves you and wants you to be happy, not just in this world, but eternally happy with him for all time. Trust in him and truly seek his will and you will be blessed with peace in time and in eternity.

 

[mommy_k]

First, remeber that you were created by God and He wants you to be happy.If there is a seed in your heart that the situation is not right-it is not right for you. It is fine to be fickle hearted in high school, as you are finding out who you really are. Just because friends may have boyfriends, it does not mean you must too. It takes a very secure person to take a vacation from this and to decide what is best for yourself. Because you posted, it means you are mature and secure, not confused.
You can step away from this for a week or so, pray for guidance, decide for yourself what is the right thing for you is–not your parents, not your friends.
I believe God will show you the way. If things turn out a different way tan you expect, it may be a blessing and you may meet the perfect person for you. The most important thing is mutual dignity and respect in relationships and to take you time with this will help you gain this.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

(I am tempted to ask if the Baptist guy’s name is John)

Jane, you probably don’t want to hear this but you shouldn’t be too serious about any guys in high school. Keep things in perspective, know that you will change as you mature. Focus on faith and education. Don’t worry about what other high school kids think or do. In a few years this will all seem silly to you, I promise.

 

[1ke]

Dating is not a game, it is a way to discern a future spouse. Since you are not nearly ready to be getting marriage, stop with this dating stuff {“getting with”, what does that mean anyway?)