What do I do if my wife is a "cafeteria" Catholic?

[doubles]

My wife and I have been married for several years. We were married in a Catholic Church and both our families are Catholic. Once we had children, it became difficult for both of us to go to Mass weekly. More recently, I have become a much more devout follower, as my wife has lapsed a bit. She remains thoughtful and considerate and selfless, much moreso than I, but she seems to worry a bit less about the necessary rituals of our faith. She rarely goes to confession.

When we met, we were both Catholics in faith, but not as consistent in practice. So I changed a bit and so did she.

I am sure she will come around, but I have been struggling with how much I should be urging her along without becoming overbearing. Can you help me understand my Catholic obligation in this respect?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

In reading your post I could not find anything to suggest that your wife is a “cafeteria Catholic.” That term usually describes those who choose not to believe in some of the doctrinal and moral teachings of the faith while accepting other teachings that appeal to them. Rather, it sounds to me that your wife has lapsed in her practice of the faith.

One way to encourage your wife to resume practicing her faith is to live it yourself in an appealing manner. If practicing your faith makes you a more loving, considerate person and a joy to be around, your life will act as a witness to her. Here and there, where it seems appropriate to do so, you could also mention your practice of the faith. For example, if she notices aloud that you have certainly been much more happy recently, you could credit the sacraments of confession and the Eucharist. And, as it seems appropriate to do so, you could invite her to go with you to Mass and confession, but accept without rancor if she declines.

Recommended reading:

Search and Rescue by Patrick Madrid
How Not to Share Your Faith by Mark Brumley