My wife and I have been married for 16 months, but my wife still has not allowed a consummation of our marriage. I am not a Catholic but she is, so I am wondering if you have any information I can share with her.
The Church teaches that marriages must be both ratified (through vows) and consummated (through marital relations). The Church also teaches that you and your wife granted each other a right to marital relations when you married. Of course, such a right to relations should be exercised within a framework of consideration, respect, and generosity, and relations can be deferred for just cause (e.g., illness, physical frailty), but a legitimate request for relations should not be refused.
I recommend that you and your wife seek marital counseling to find out exactly what the reason is that your wife is unwilling to consummate the marriage and what can be done to treat this situation. If she is unwilling to go to counseling with you, I recommend going by yourself. You can obtain a referral to a Christian counselor from the Pastoral Solutions Institute, CatholicTherapists.com, and the St. Michael’s Institute.
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