What do I do with my share of my father's ashes?

[siouxsie2sioux]

Last year I started regularly attending church with my daughter. I do not come from a religious family and they are always mocking me, asking me to defend my actions and beliefs. My father died in April 2008 and my mum said he wanted to be cremated, and since then she has said that she will buy keepsake urns for us children when she buys his urn. She has recently done this and is extremely upset now, firstly because she is saying that I am rejecting my father by not wanting his ashes and secondly she has scattered some of his ashes in Spain and I explained my reason for not wanting his ashes scattered. What can I say that will help her to understand that I am not choosing between God and my father; merely that I want to be re-united with him when the time comes?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

Since your family is not religious and is hostile to your faith, now does not seem to be an appropriate time to argue with them over the disposal of your father’s ashes. I recommend that you accept with thanks the urn with your share of the ashes and then arrange for an appropriate burial for your urn. That way, at least some of your father’s remains will be treated in a dignified manner. I doubt that your mother will expect to see the urn she gives you displayed in your home; but, if she asks, you can either tell her that you chose to bury the urn in a place where you can visit your father’s grave on occasion, or (if it seems more prudent to you to do so) you can tell her that the urn is “in a safe place.”