What do I do with this vice and my feelings of hypocrisy?

[catholic1seeks]

Hey, all.

I need your thoughtful advice and caring assistance. I have a a certain vice or temptation I often succumb to. Now, I am not one of those super-scrupulous people. But I do feel guilty when I fall so often, and I feel like a big hypocrite. Here I am loving my faith, reading about it, learning about it, listening about it, sharing it, and then… I fall to the same thing. So easily. And afterwards, I feel so stupid.

I know there’s confession. That’s not my main concern. It’s more about my feelings–about the feeling shameful or not shameful enough, even? Am I a hypocrite? How do I proceed after I fall when I fall so easily yet still want to be engaged with the faith?

Thanks.
God blessss!

 

[bisco1]

i can only recommend prayer, confession and eucharist. i struggled for 55 years, really only 20 years of trying to stop. all of a sudden, a year ago last fall, i lost the desire for the sin, thanks be to God. i know it’s not much comfort, but don’t lose hope. God bless!

 

[tawny]

Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom in your time of need.

 

[bisco1]

i prayed for you too, thanks tawny!

 

[hazcompat]

I can recall a story in the Eastern Catholics section where a penitent apologized for the same old sins. The priest responded “What, you want some new ones?”

As Pope Francis said He never tires of forgiving, we tire of asking.

Keep the Faith.

Peace

 

[ready]

Hey, all.

I need your thoughtful advice and caring assistance. I have a a certain vice or temptation I often succumb to. Now, I am not one of those super-scrupulous people. But I do feel guilty when I fall so often, and I feel like a big hypocrite. Here I am loving my faith, reading about it, learning about it, listening about it, sharing it, and then… I fall to the same thing. So easily. And afterwards, I feel so stupid.

I know there’s confession. That’s not my main concern. It’s more about my feelings–about the feeling shameful or not shameful enough, even? Am I a hypocrite? How do I proceed after I fall when I fall so easily yet still want to be engaged with the faith?

Thanks.
God blessss!

Whenever you fall again, humbly and peacefully recognize how dependent you are on God and His grace, and constantly ask Him for His grace and help. So long as you are very contrite and always turn to God for help, you will make progress in the spiritual life. The problem is not in your falling so often; the problem would be in a person’s refusal to be humble, peaceable and completely turned to God after his repeated falls. God permits some people to keep falling to make them humble and surrendered and self-abandoned. If you are going to a valid Mass and a valid priest for the Sacraments, you will have sanctifying grace to help you. My prayer for you is that you attend the Tridentine Mass at a traditional chapel with a traditional priest. God bless you.

 

[schaubj57]

Hey, all.

I need your thoughtful advice and caring assistance. I have a a certain vice or temptation I often succumb to. Now, I am not one of those super-scrupulous people. But I do feel guilty when I fall so often, and I feel like a big hypocrite. Here I am loving my faith, reading about it, learning about it, listening about it, sharing it, and then… I fall to the same thing. So easily. And afterwards, I feel so stupid.

I know there’s confession. That’s not my main concern. It’s more about my feelings–about the feeling shameful or not shameful enough, even? Am I a hypocrite? How do I proceed after I fall when I fall so easily yet still want to be engaged with the faith?

Thanks.
God blessss!

First thing to remember is that you are human and being human you are going to make mistakes and falter in life. Giving into a vice is not a good thing but, as my priest once said, everyone has their go to sin when they are weak. Some it’s alcohol, some it’s women, some it’s cursing like a sailor. It’s a part of life. If you get into these “triggers” that cause to you succumb to your vice, start flooding your mind with prayers to the Holy Spirit and to God to protect you and get you through that situation. Close your eyes, talk with God and fight to not succumb to the temptations. It may take a few times before that works but stay with it. It does work. It worked for me when I battled a vice I kept hidden in my life for years. Now, my triggers are gone and I don’t fall to that vice anymore. It was a difficult task but God and the Holy Spirit helped me.

I’ll pray that you are able to defeat this vice and that it no longer afflicts you.

 

[ChurchSuffering]

Everyone falls into sin again and again, I know for myself it can be very frustrating. Just keep up your faith and I will be praying for you.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

The shame is an indicator, but it doesn’t help anything beyond that IMO. It shows you realize you’re wrong, and others have written good advice.

If you are not a hypocrite, then you died on the Cross. For the rest of it, we do our best and all I can do is be as honest as I know how. So some of us are worse, some better, but none completely perfect so that means we don’t have to play the dualistic game of am I in the “ingroup” or the “outgroup” it’s more like where’s my seat so I can join you?

But that also means I have to explore my “dark side” and allow my mind the freedom to go in and examine itself and the connections it makes, when it percolates this stuff up from somewhere deeply buried or woven into the fabric of my mind’s way of understanding and making sense of things. In my case, I actually underwent a period of psychosis, which was ultimately a beautiful experience very well captured by St. John of the Cross and the Dark Night. This may sound weird, but I rejoice when I see someone seemingly going that direction but with much faith, because it may be scary to the person, and even more so to those around the person undergoing the transformation, but in the dark night the soul undergoes “purgative contemplation” which is basically like doing Purgatory here on earth.

It’s more about having a moral code and struggling to follow it. It’s about mortifying your desires (deny self) which is what fasting can help with. To prove to your ego that something really is optional and not “needed” so as to strengthen faith.

In this manner, your soul can actually become perfected as much as possible in this lifetime, and not just by giving you strength to fight your desires, but to actually “die to yourself” or “deny yourself” as Jesus describes in different ways. You are no longer merely mortal, because you die to your carnal nature and are born of the spirit – and when that happens your desire to do anything wrong fade away and it ceases to be a struggle. This is the mindset Jesus refers to as the “kingdom” and it can happen now.

I think anybody who just wants to squeak through this life to make it to Purgatory is really setting the bar too low. Why not get Purgatory going now, while you can still be around to see the benefits or purification in your life? Granted given your life situation, many people wouldn’t have the emotional/spiritual/psychological support group to get them through it safely.

Go for the transformational aspects of our faith (for example read mystical saints like Teresa of Avila, who understands what it’s like to have a “before conversion” life) and get involved in silent prayer, aka contemplative prayer, which the Catechism teaches that Catholic prayer life “should” progress into, because it brings us to union with God. When that happens you win. Game on.

By the way, some Catholics will tell you that “contemplative prayer is not for everyone” but that is not supported by the Catechism. It’s not required, but it’s recommended (2708).

And about contemplative prayer – never heard of it? A great intro by a Jesuit, and the book is used at some seminaries for introductory prayer classes.

Armchair Mystic: Easing Into Contemplative Prayer Paperback – April 1, 2001
by Mark E. Thibodeaux S.J. (Author)

Others like Ignatian exercises, there are so many flavors. Truly Catholicism is a grand buffet that can suit many different personalities and situations.

But yes, I like your question. Yes, we sin, confess, do it again, what breaks the cycle?

Transformation. Consider the Cloud of the Unknowing; I suggest the translation by Johnston. That book usually either really hits someone, or really doesn’t; the author says it isn’t for everyone and if it doesn’t grab you he’d rather you not read it. It’s an ancient anonymous work that basically says that everything my mind can ever imagine is my “Cloud of Knowing.” To find God, I must penetrate into the “Cloud of the Unknowing,” and it also talks about a method of contemplative prayer.

There is a Look Inside at Amazon:

The Cloud of Unknowing: and The Book of Privy Counseling

This is all the great Catholic stuff nobody even told me about until I was in my 40’s. It’s like hidden treasure that is no longer hidden. It’s a great time to be Catholic IMO.

MS