What do I do?

[Bella92]

Not sure if this is the right place after looking around I can’t really see where to put this so if it’s not in the right place, sorry. I miss something about my religion, but I don’t really know what it is. I like the idea of going back to benediction as a starter. But here’s the problem or rather problems. I’m bisexual. I have no intention of being celibate, and that’s just the truth, so I could never swear to stop having relationships with women. I don’t think I’ll ever get married, but I don’t know, because while I’m attracted to men and women, I’m much more attracted to women in general. I’ve lived with other people in the past, and I can honestly see myself doing so again. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever marry anyone without living with them first. I’m on the pill and I don’t see anything wrong with masturbation. I engage in and enjoy no strings sex. If I did take up with a woman I wouldn’t want to marry her, but I don’t see anything wrong with two men or women wanting to get married if that’s what they want. It wouldn’t be for me, but if others want it that’s down to them. These are just some of the things I don’t think I’d ever resolve with the church. There’s also a lot of things like the dogmas about Mary I just don’t know about. I know as a Catholic I’m supposed to believe them, but I just don’t.
So really, I don’t think I’d ever fit in with the Catholic church. But I’d quite like to be able to go to a religious service now and again. I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few weeks and I really can’t put my hand on heart and swear I don’t believe in God, because deep down, somewhere, I do think there’s a God. I just don’t think this God is all that bothered about stupid things like if I masturbate or if I sleep with someone.
Maybe I’ve answered my own question in a sense by writing all this out, maybe I should find a church I’d be welcome in and one I could fit in and be comfortable in. But then there’s this Catholic guilt thing I’ve been indoctrinated with, which makes me feel any other religion or church isn’t right. So I don’t know what to do.

 

[Diana_Catherine]

Not sure if this is the right place after looking around I can’t really see where to put this so if it’s not in the right place, sorry. I miss something about my religion, but I don’t really know what it is. I like the idea of going back to benediction as a starter. But here’s the problem or rather problems. I’m bisexual. I have no intention of being celibate, and that’s just the truth, so I could never swear to stop having relationships with women. I don’t think I’ll ever get married, but I don’t know, because while I’m attracted to men and women, I’m much more attracted to women in general. I’ve lived with other people in the past, and I can honestly see myself doing so again. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever marry anyone without living with them first. I’m on the pill and I don’t see anything wrong with masturbation. I engage in and enjoy no strings sex. If I did take up with a woman I wouldn’t want to marry her, but I don’t see anything wrong with two men or women wanting to get married if that’s what they want. It wouldn’t be for me, but if others want it that’s down to them. These are just some of the things I don’t think I’d ever resolve with the church. There’s also a lot of things like the dogmas about Mary I just don’t know about. I know as a Catholic I’m supposed to believe them, but I just don’t.
So really, I don’t think I’d ever fit in with the Catholic church. But I’d quite like to be able to go to a religious service now and again. I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few weeks and I really can’t put my hand on heart and swear I don’t believe in God, because deep down, somewhere, I do think there’s a God. I just don’t think this God is all that bothered about stupid things like if I masturbate or if I sleep with someone.
Maybe I’ve answered my own question in a sense by writing all this out, maybe I should find a church I’d be welcome in and one I could fit in and be comfortable in. But then there’s this Catholic guilt thing I’ve been indoctrinated with, which makes me feel any other religion or church isn’t right. So I don’t know what to do.

I would pray. Right now it sounds as if you are confused and making up your own ideas of what God says and what God asks of us and what God allows. It doesn’t work that way. Just like a father of a small child knows what is best for the child to keep him safe and the child does not, that is how we are. Our heavenly Father knows what is best for us. He created this world and us. He loves us and only wants what is best for us. Just like a small child can not make decisions on what is best, neither can we. We are finite beings. God is infinite. He knows best. I suggest you pray and ask God to lead you and show you and not rely on your own misunderstanding and confusions. Here is a good prayer St. Francis prayed when he needed guidance.

St. Francis’ Prayer Before the Crucifix

Most High
glorious God,
enlighten the darkness
of my heart.
Give me
right faith,
sure hope
and perfect charity.
Fill me with understanding
and knowledge
that I may fulfill
your command.

 

[MichaelHowling]

Hi Miss Bella! I hope all is well.

I think it’s wonderful that you are feeling something from God to come search Him. Keep in mind…the biggest thing that makes christianity different from all the other world religions is that it’s a religion where God is searching for you (the others…man is searching for God). SO , the very fact that you have this sense that God wants you to come to Him means that GOd loves you …you, yourself, with all of your misconceptions and sins! You loves messed up you like you loves messed up me and the messed up pope~!

However, he DOES not like the sins, our ignorance, and pride.

The same is felt by His body, the church! We love you too much to see you destroy yourself…cause that is what sin and ignorance can do!

So, just so you know…you YOU…are more than welcome ! The church was created for you!

You’re right…there are lots of ways of life (you’re right…you’re quite away aways from the churches’ social teaching) and lots of dogma’s and light that you don’t have right now. That’s ok! As Gabriel said to the VIRGIN Mary that she would concieve without sexual encounter with a man (a pretty amazing feat indeed) " Nothing will be impossible for God".

Now, as it is with the social thinking you have…you mentioned you don’t feel God is interested in that stuff. ARE YOU KIDDING ME…these are the subjects of the heart!!! He’s MOST interested in these. Marriage and relationships is what forms society!!! ITS VERY IMPORTANT STUFF FRIEND! Masterbation shows you don’t understand what your body is for and the dangers of it …trust me! He’s interested in this too because of what it can do to you!

In response to the last thing you mentioned…you’re looking for a church youi can “fit in” and be "comfortable " in . Let me tell you …the catholic church is not a place where should you expect that it will fit around you and feel comfortable in…no, you MUST fit yourself within it! Like it’s Master…it does not change! It holds the fullness of truth revealed by God and does not move left and right…you’re the one that will do the changing if you enter it!

Lastly,…you don’t want to be “comfortable”…you want to grow and be challenged…or else you might as well just sit in your room and look out the window with a nice drink and just hope you get to heaven.

God bless you in your journey…it’s going to give you lots of challenges , hardships, tough decisions, and…good times! It’s just like …a marriage! It’s all worth it to come to know Jesus more and more.

As it is said:

“our hearts are restless oh lord, and they will remain restless until they rest in you!” …if you never get this journey started…you’ll be journeying the rest of your life with no nourishment!

God bless and if you have any questions don’t hesistate to post or email me: MichaelHowling@gmail.com

 

[Regina_Love]

Not sure if this is the right place after looking around I can’t really see where to put this so if it’s not in the right place, sorry. I miss something about my religion, but I don’t really know what it is. I like the idea of going back to benediction as a starter. But here’s the problem or rather problems. I’m bisexual. I have no intention of being celibate, and that’s just the truth, so I could never swear to stop having relationships with women. I don’t think I’ll ever get married, but I don’t know, because while I’m attracted to men and women, I’m much more attracted to women in general. I’ve lived with other people in the past, and I can honestly see myself doing so again. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever marry anyone without living with them first. I’m on the pill and I don’t see anything wrong with masturbation. I engage in and enjoy no strings sex. If I did take up with a woman I wouldn’t want to marry her, but I don’t see anything wrong with two men or women wanting to get married if that’s what they want. It wouldn’t be for me, but if others want it that’s down to them. These are just some of the things I don’t think I’d ever resolve with the church. There’s also a lot of things like the dogmas about Mary I just don’t know about. I know as a Catholic I’m supposed to believe them, but I just don’t.
So really, I don’t think I’d ever fit in with the Catholic church. But I’d quite like to be able to go to a religious service now and again. I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few weeks and I really can’t put my hand on heart and swear I don’t believe in God, because deep down, somewhere, I do think there’s a God. I just don’t think this God is all that bothered about stupid things like if I masturbate or if I sleep with someone.
Maybe I’ve answered my own question in a sense by writing all this out, maybe I should find a church I’d be welcome in and one I could fit in and be comfortable in. But then there’s this Catholic guilt thing I’ve been indoctrinated with, which makes me feel any other religion or church isn’t right. So I don’t know what to do.

I think the first question is…are you God? If you decide what is right & wrong then you are claiming to be God. Are you wiser than God? God has told us how to live in happiness with one & other. He gives you the free will to reject him, but be honest about it. When ever you disagree with God somebody’s wrong, and it not HIM!

Looking for a Church that thinks like you is a waste of time. The purpose of going to Church is to connect with God. If you are already sitting on His throne, and declaring that reality is what YOU declare it to be than you have already rejected God. There is only room for one of you to sit on the throne. You must decide who that will be, and your eternal life hangs in the balance.

Please keep in mind that the Catholic Church was instituted by Jesus Christ, and has over 4000 years of wisdom about God. I have challenged the Church in many areas, but was willing to investigate WHY they taught what they did. Each time I was stunned by how eloquent and wise the teachings are. Some of them are amazing! Of course it takes great courage to investigate the Church, because you will be called to grow & change! you will not be at peace, until you follow God. It is the great & wonderful destiny he created you for!

 

[runningdude]

Not sure if this is the right place after looking around I can’t really see where to put this so if it’s not in the right place, sorry. I miss something about my religion, but I don’t really know what it is. I like the idea of going back to benediction as a starter. But here’s the problem or rather problems. I’m bisexual. I have no intention of being celibate, and that’s just the truth, so I could never swear to stop having relationships with women. I don’t think I’ll ever get married, but I don’t know, because while I’m attracted to men and women, I’m much more attracted to women in general. I’ve lived with other people in the past, and I can honestly see myself doing so again. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever marry anyone without living with them first. I’m on the pill and I don’t see anything wrong with masturbation. I engage in and enjoy no strings sex. If I did take up with a woman I wouldn’t want to marry her, but I don’t see anything wrong with two men or women wanting to get married if that’s what they want. It wouldn’t be for me, but if others want it that’s down to them. These are just some of the things I don’t think I’d ever resolve with the church. There’s also a lot of things like the dogmas about Mary I just don’t know about. I know as a Catholic I’m supposed to believe them, but I just don’t.
So really, I don’t think I’d ever fit in with the Catholic church. But I’d quite like to be able to go to a religious service now and again. I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few weeks and I really can’t put my hand on heart and swear I don’t believe in God, because deep down, somewhere, I do think there’s a God. I just don’t think this God is all that bothered about stupid things like if I masturbate or if I sleep with someone.
Maybe I’ve answered my own question in a sense by writing all this out, maybe I should find a church I’d be welcome in and one I could fit in and be comfortable in. But then there’s this Catholic guilt thing I’ve been indoctrinated with, which makes me feel any other religion or church isn’t right. So I don’t know what to do.

You are not going to get any affirmations for the behavior you’ve described here.

Joining the Catholic Church isn’t about “fitting” in, but learning to accept the truth. Jesus Christ, our savior, accepted the truth that he was going to be unjustly executed, and used it to free mankind from sin and slavery. I hope you learn to accept the truth that Jesus loves you, and doesn’t want you hurting yourself with “no strings” sex and other dangerous behavior.

 

[PJM]

=Bella92;10264180]Not sure if this is the right place after looking around I can’t really see where to put this so if it’s not in the right place, sorry. I miss something about my religion, but I don’t really know what it is. I like the idea of going back to benediction as a starter. But here’s the problem or rather problems. I’m bisexual. I have no intention of being celibate, and that’s just the truth, so I could never swear to stop having relationships with women. I don’t think I’ll ever get married, but I don’t know, because while I’m attracted to men and women, I’m much more attracted to women in general. I’ve lived with other people in the past, and I can honestly see myself doing so again. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever marry anyone without living with them first. I’m on the pill and I don’t see anything wrong with masturbation. I engage in and enjoy no strings sex. If I did take up with a woman I wouldn’t want to marry her, but I don’t see anything wrong with two men or women wanting to get married if that’s what they want. It wouldn’t be for me, but if others want it that’s down to them. These are just some of the things I don’t think I’d ever resolve with the church. There’s also a lot of things like the dogmas about Mary I just don’t know about. I know as a Catholic I’m supposed to believe them, but I just don’t.
So really, I don’t think I’d ever fit in with the Catholic church. But I’d quite like to be able to go to a religious service now and again. I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few weeks and I really can’t put my hand on heart and swear I don’t believe in God, because deep down, somewhere, I do think there’s a God. I just don’t think this God is all that bothered about stupid things like if I masturbate or if I sleep with someone.
Maybe I’ve answered my own question in a sense by writing all this out, maybe I should find a church I’d be welcome in and one I could fit in and be comfortable in. But then there’s this Catholic guilt thing I’ve been indoctrinated with, which makes me feel any other religion or church isn’t right. So I don’t know what to do.

So basically you have decided on HELL:shrug:

God permits that; but that my friend is what you have chosen is most important to you.

Certainly God nor the church, nor me; would disuade you from being in the Lords Acrual and realy Divine presence. That said; it may not be the best plan for you?

Perhaps some regular prayer life would be more suitable.

Attending a relgious serive in your stated frame of mind would not be worthy of you or of your God IMO.

AND no other relgion or church is “right”. here’s why.

**There is only One God

God can have and hold only one set of Faith believes, because God is perfect and cannot hold contradictory beliefs on the same topic.**

ANY church that would condone what are clearly immoral practices would be no better than no church or faith practice at all.

So I and no doubt other will be praying for you. Heaven and hell are real anf Eternal. Where you spend Eternity is your choice, and God only affirms your decision.

May God grant you the courage and wisdom to do what YOU KNOW is the right to do.

pat/PJM

 

[St_Francis]

Hi Bella,
You can do anything but receive the sacraments. You can go to Mass, benediction, etc. but right now you do not have a “firm purpose of amendment” regarding what is objectively mortal sin; that is why you should refrain from receiving any sacraments. But you could talk to the priest and he or someone he knows might be able to help you understand the nature of your actions better. And there are plenty of threads on these topics.

I would encourage you to participate as much as possible (no sacraments!) in the Church. God calls each of us, and He is very gentle with us. Your post sounds like you want to get to know Him; like you are responding to His calling you to Him.

Annie

 

[mlz]

Hi Bella,
You can do anything but receive the sacraments. You can go to Mass, benediction, etc. but right now you do not have a “firm purpose of amendment” regarding what is objectively mortal sin; that is why you should refrain from receiving any sacraments. But you could talk to the priest and he or someone he knows might be able to help you understand the nature of your actions better. And there are plenty of threads on these topics.

I would encourage you to participate as much as possible (no sacraments!) in the Church. God calls each of us, and He is very gentle with us. Your post sounds like you want to get to know Him; like you are responding to His calling you to Him.

Annie

I agree. You are always welcome to come to Mass, just not participate in the sacraments. I would also highly recommend going to Adoration should a nearby parish offer this. Sit and pray for God’s lead and assurance. Going to Adoration was part of why I converted!

My love and prayers on your journey of faithe,
mlz

 

[aidanbradypop]

Not sure if this is the right place after looking around I can’t really see where to put this so if it’s not in the right place, sorry. I miss something about my religion, but I don’t really know what it is. I like the idea of going back to benediction as a starter. But here’s the problem or rather problems. I’m bisexual. I have no intention of being celibate, and that’s just the truth, so I could never swear to stop having relationships with women. I don’t think I’ll ever get married, but I don’t know, because while I’m attracted to men and women, I’m much more attracted to women in general. I’ve lived with other people in the past, and I can honestly see myself doing so again. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever marry anyone without living with them first. I’m on the pill and I don’t see anything wrong with masturbation. I engage in and enjoy no strings sex. If I did take up with a woman I wouldn’t want to marry her, but I don’t see anything wrong with two men or women wanting to get married if that’s what they want. It wouldn’t be for me, but if others want it that’s down to them. These are just some of the things I don’t think I’d ever resolve with the church. There’s also a lot of things like the dogmas about Mary I just don’t know about. I know as a Catholic I’m supposed to believe them, but I just don’t.
So really, I don’t think I’d ever fit in with the Catholic church. But I’d quite like to be able to go to a religious service now and again. I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few weeks and I really can’t put my hand on heart and swear I don’t believe in God, because deep down, somewhere, I do think there’s a God. I just don’t think this God is all that bothered about stupid things like if I masturbate or if I sleep with someone.
Maybe I’ve answered my own question in a sense by writing all this out, maybe I should find a church I’d be welcome in and one I could fit in and be comfortable in. But then there’s this Catholic guilt thing I’ve been indoctrinated with, which makes me feel any other religion or church isn’t right. So I don’t know what to do.

Bella…I love that name!

I can see just from your post that you are extremely torn. I bolded a statement you made in the above quote of your post. You want a church that will accept you and one that you will fill comfortable in. Christ’s Church accepts everyone, but not their sins. You can attend Mass everyday of the week if you would like. I would advice to reframe from Holy Eucharist.

Another issue is “be comfortable” that raises a flag for me. I am usually uncomfortable at Mass when the priest is talking right at me with a homily lol. I know he is not really talking right at me, but it sure does feel like it. That is the wonderful thing about the Catholic Church. She does not change to mold to society. Society should mold to Her and Her teachings. Church is suppose to make us feel “comfortable” but Her mission is to bring us to salvation in Christ and to give us the Sacraments of Grace for our Father in Heaven.

I would ask you to pray for the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, the Love of Christ and the mercy of God. God will never put you on the wrong path. We, as sinful children of God, will often pick the path we fill is best. We should strive to live for God rather than ourself. So during your prayers and reflections, ask yourself if you are living for God or yourself. I will also pray for you in my morning and evening prayers. I hope you find serenity and I truly want to thank you for posting.

I wish you the very best Bella! Love in Christ

 

[kaneata]

I agree with what many posters have advised.

Go to church, especially when it’s empty; sit and listen to God speak to you. Adoration would be a wonderful idea.

What does God want for you? Follow Him.

 

[SteveVH]

Are you looking for truth so that you may seek the best way to live, or are you looking for a god who approves of how you satisfy your fleshly desires?

 

[Indifferently]

A lot of questions here.

My advice is to not try to work out all these tough questions now. Just dip your toes back in a bit - start going to church again and see how you find it. You are not going to change overnight nor should you, as that is likely to have negative results.

Just go to church a little. Get to know a priest, or other Christian you can trust. Maybe then raise these issues with that person. We don’t know you so our advice can be limited and myopic. See how you get on, and I wish you all the very best.

 

[Indifferently]

So basically you have decided on HELL:shrug:

God permits that; but that my friend is what you have chosen is most important to you.

Certainly God nor the church, nor me; would disuade you from being in the Lords Acrual and realy Divine presence. That said; it may not be the best plan for you?

Perhaps some regular prayer life would be more suitable.

Attending a relgious serive in your stated frame of mind would not be worthy of you or of your God IMO.

AND no other relgion or church is “right”. here’s why.

**There is only One God

God can have and hold only one set of Faith believes, because God is perfect and cannot hold contradictory beliefs on the same topic.**

ANY church that would condone what are clearly immoral practices would be no better than no church or faith practice at all.

So I and no doubt other will be praying for you. Heaven and hell are real anf Eternal. Where you spend Eternity is your choice, and God only affirms your decision.

May God grant you the courage and wisdom to do what YOU KNOW is the right to do.

pat/PJM

Evangelism is not your vocation. I strongly caution you against the way you engage with other posters on here, as the Lord cautioned the Pharisees.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Hi Bella,
You can do anything but receive the sacraments. You can go to Mass, benediction, etc. but right now you do not have a “firm purpose of amendment” regarding what is objectively mortal sin; that is why you should refrain from receiving any sacraments. But you could talk to the priest and he or someone he knows might be able to help you understand the nature of your actions better. And there are plenty of threads on these topics.

I would encourage you to participate as much as possible (no sacraments!) in the Church. God calls each of us, and He is very gentle with us. Your post sounds like you want to get to know Him; like you are responding to His calling you to Him.

Annie

I agree with this, too.

 

[fbl9]

. But then there’s this Catholic guilt thing I’ve been indoctrinated with, which makes me feel any other religion or church isn’t right. So I don’t know what to do.

.
Why would you feel guilty if all these things you do are peachy keen?
The guilt is caused by your baptism, it is your soul groaning begging to be at peace.
As there is only one who can give you peace and that is Jesus Christ. Whom suffered ravage blows of a whip, hung in agony so that you could be at peace with God through Him.
Like others have said attend Mass, without partaking in the Eucharist.

 

[colinberry1]

Bella, as you know God does not ask allot from you, only just to be an honest decent human being, but if it is a place of congregation you’re looking for, to be honest in your true exposure that you present to people, there is no room there for you, after saying that, you have to remember there was no room for Jesus, in the time of Mary’s need, but only a stable.

Jesus place of congregation was held in the open, free for everyone to attend.
I do not believe that Jesus was a dictator but a humble father that love talking to his children that wanted to listen.

 

[PJM]

=Indifferently;10271823]Evangelism is not your vocation. I strongly caution you against the way you engage with other posters on here, as the Lord cautioned the Pharisees.

So mt friend; Christ opted out and dinn’t face the truth?

Truth is its own charity, is it not.

Welcome to the Forum!

And thanks for sharing your opinion. I’ll keep it in mind.

God Bles you,

pat/PJM

 

[aidanbradypop]

.
Why would you feel guilty if all these things you do are peachy keen?
The guilt is caused by your baptism, it is your soul groaning begging to be at peace.
QUOTE]

I love that! She states that she was “indoctrinated” by the Church. I will be indoctrinated anyday of the week by Christ!!! It is amazing (not in a good way) how we sinners can twist something around to make us feel better or to justify our wrong doings.

 

[Lady_Love]

You seem to be struggling to understand your sexuality. I suggest listening to “The Theology of the Body” by Christopher West. If you understand God’s vision for sexuality it will make it easier for you. You will see the wonderful gift that God has designed in sexual union.

Please, please, please get the C.D.'s. Listening to the “Theology of the Body” healed many of my sexual wounds and misunderstandings.

Whatever you do, do not abandon prayer. Trust in the love God has for you. Trust that He inspired you to post on CAF to lead you to the answers you are looking for.

 

[Sillara]

Bella, as you know God does not ask allot from you,

Bella, I apologize for the thread hijacking, but this I really cannot let pass.

Our Lord does ask a lot of us. He asks absolutely everything. He demands that we “be perfect, as your Father in Heaven is perfect”. Furthermore, He requires that we love Him above all things–and that means doing what He says. Some of His commands are hard, but He requires nothing of us that He has not required of Himself and His Mother.

Being a Christian is not easy. Our Lord never said it was. His own disciples ended up all being horribly martyred (except for St. John, whose martyrdom of being boiled alive failed because he survived it). Still, we are called to holiness.

As St. Dominic Savio used to say, “Death before sin.”