What do I do?

[PJM]

=Sillara;10276852]Bella, I apologize for the thread hijacking, but this I really cannot let pass.

Our Lord does ask a lot of us. He asks absolutely everything. He demands that we “be perfect, as your Father in Heaven is perfect”. Furthermore, He requires that we love Him above all things–and that means doing what He says. Some of His commands are hard, but He requires nothing of us that He has not required of Himself and His Mother.

Being a Christian is not easy. Our Lord never said it was. His own disciples ended up all being horribly martyred (except for St. John, whose martyrdom of being boiled alive failed because he survived it). Still, we are called to holiness.

As St. Dominic Savio used to say, “Death before sin.”

well done:thumbsup:

Thank you

 

[fred_conty]

Not sure if this is the right place after looking around I can’t really see where to put this so if it’s not in the right place, sorry. I miss something about my religion, but I don’t really know what it is. I like the idea of going back to benediction as a starter. But here’s the problem or rather problems. I’m bisexual. I have no intention of being celibate, and that’s just the truth, so I could never swear to stop having relationships with women. I don’t think I’ll ever get married, but I don’t know, because while I’m attracted to men and women, I’m much more attracted to women in general. I’ve lived with other people in the past, and I can honestly see myself doing so again. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever marry anyone without living with them first. I’m on the pill and I don’t see anything wrong with masturbation. I engage in and enjoy no strings sex. If I did take up with a woman I wouldn’t want to marry her, but I don’t see anything wrong with two men or women wanting to get married if that’s what they want. It wouldn’t be for me, but if others want it that’s down to them. These are just some of the things I don’t think I’d ever resolve with the church. There’s also a lot of things like the dogmas about Mary I just don’t know about. I know as a Catholic I’m supposed to believe them, but I just don’t.
So really, I don’t think I’d ever fit in with the Catholic church. But I’d quite like to be able to go to a religious service now and again. I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few weeks and I really can’t put my hand on heart and swear I don’t believe in God, because deep down, somewhere, I do think there’s a God. I just don’t think this God is all that bothered about stupid things like if I masturbate or if I sleep with someone.
Maybe I’ve answered my own question in a sense by writing all this out, maybe I should find a church I’d be welcome in and one I could fit in and be comfortable in. But then there’s this Catholic guilt thing I’ve been indoctrinated with, which makes me feel any other religion or church isn’t right. So I don’t know what to do.

It seems it will take longer to find him. There is no other source of happiness and peace.
There is nothing that will do it except him. He is the source of all happiness, joy and goodness. Without him, nothing.

There are lots of unhappy sources to pleasure, but this leads to dissatisfaction and discontent. At first this may not seem so, but after a while it will become clear.
And the farther the drift away, the harder the journey back. Spare yourself all of that.

When anyone wakes up from a nights sleep in the morning, they go to bathroom and look in the mirror. What will you be seeing? There will be that quite nag nag nag or the inner peace.

Go to confession and make a clean start over. He would like that.

Here is a website that will help.
catholicbridge.com/catholic/masturbation.php

Just a thought.

 

[Bella92]

Masterbation shows you don’t understand what your body is for and the dangers of it …trust me! He’s interested in this too because of what it can do to you!

It can’t do anything to me. It’s just a bit of natural enjoyable fun. What is my body for? Babies? Please don’t say that’s what you think. I swear I don’t get this hangup on masturbation.

God bless and if you have any questions don’t hesistate to post or email me: MichaelHowling@xxxxxxxxxxx.com

Thanks for offering to help but seriously, I’d edit your email out if I was you, putting it up in full on a public forum is just asking to be spammed to death.

 

[Bella92]

When anyone wakes up from a nights sleep in the morning, they go to bathroom and look in the mirror. What will you be seeing?

I see me and I like me. This is why I don’t think I belong or fit into the Catholic church. I can’t see anything wrong with me or my life but the church does. I mean I respect that, because that’s the church, but I don’t think I’d ever be able to conform. But there’s still that something inside me that just misses I don’t know, something, that’s why I was thinking I might be bette of finding a more liberal church that would accept me for who I am.

 

[Bella92]

.
Why would you feel guilty if all these things you do are peachy keen?
The guilt is caused by your baptism, it is your soul groaning begging to be at peace.

I don’t feel guilty about what I do. I feel guilty about looking at other churches because of my Catholic upbringing. It’s been indoctinated into me the Catholic church is the one true church so I feel a kind of guilt considering leaving it for another church. But it’s stupid to call myself a catholic when I don’t live like one, don’t believe half the stuff the church says, and if I put my hand on my heart and swear, I really see nothing wrong with what I do or how I live my life now so saying I’d be willing to change would just be a lie, because I don’t see why I should really. There’s still something I miss though about having a faith and I don’t know what it really is because even as a child I didn’t really believe half the things my mother and the priests were saying. I just felt it was like a control thing. I don’t know anymore.

 

[colinberry1]

Well now Bella, it depends is it the Catholic faith you are seeking for or a gateway to heaven, I believe the battle is between good and evil, as you may know evil finds its home in all denominations, and may I say all of these denomination’s place heavy demands on their followers or congregations but sadly these demands are never met, and that is why we have the evil society we have today.

The question I asked, if heaven holes perfection, why was it possible for Satan the fallen angel, been able to create his own followers of evil in heaven.
youtu.be/ThL1wp445A8

 

[fred_conty]

I see me and I like me. This is why I don’t think I belong or fit into the Catholic church. I can’t see anything wrong with me or my life but the church does. I mean I respect that, because that’s the church, but I don’t think I’d ever be able to conform. But there’s still that something inside me that just misses I don’t know, something, that’s why I was thinking I might be bette of finding a more liberal church that would accept me for who I am.

Bella,
There are so many thing in the Catholic church I would prefer were different but I know they speak for Jesus.

When I was a boy, there were so many things my parents would say to me that I would prefer were different but I know they were speaking the truth for my benefit.

When I was in college, they too told me so many things I would prefer were different but I know now they were right.

When I was working, I did things I didn’t particularly want to do, but I had to do them.

People are problem solvers. The people who can solve problems are of great value. They don’t shrink from doing the hard things and that’s why progress is made. And if we are not solving problems then we will be dodging them or making them. It is best to face a problem and solve it the right way to begin with.

Jesus solved the greatest problem of all time dying on the cross…by facing it.

Just a thought.

 

[Bella92]

You seem to be struggling to understand your sexuality.

When I was a teenager that was true. Not now though. Without any family help, I’ve come through that and I’m perfectly content with myself knowing I’m a bisexual woman. It’s not a struggle anymore, it’s who I am.

Whatever you do, do not abandon prayer. Trust in the love God has for you. Trust that He inspired you to post on CAF to lead you to the answers you are looking for.

I’m going to try and start talking to God a bit more maybe. I think going back to mass or going to benediction would be just a bit too much for now. I’ve not been praying to God, so I think I’ll start there. Just in the form of a chat I think, because I’ve always struggled with those repetitive prayers. Even when I was a child when people said things like say three hail marys I was like why three? Why not one, or twenty. The mindless repetition did my head in. So maybe just a chat.

 

[detoutcoeur]

I would encourage you to participate as much as possible (no sacraments!) in the Church. God calls each of us, and He is very gentle with us. Your post sounds like you want to get to know Him; like you are responding to His calling you to Him.

Annie

Hi Bella,

I think that God is gently calling you, too. You could begin by spending time before the Blessed Sacrament talking to Him about all this, and see what He says. I will pray for you.

From the Spirituality page of the Catholic Church in England:

sacredspace.ie/

liturgyoffice.org.uk/Prayer/Spirituality/Merton.shtml

 

[fbl9]

I don’t feel guilty about what I do. I feel guilty about looking at other churches because of my Catholic upbringing. It’s been indoctinated into me the Catholic church is the one true church so I feel a kind of guilt considering leaving it for another church. But it’s stupid to call myself a catholic when I don’t live like one, don’t believe half the stuff the church says, and if I put my hand on my heart and swear, I really see nothing wrong with what I do or how I live my life now so saying I’d be willing to change would just be a lie, because I don’t see why I should really. There’s still something I miss though about having a faith and I don’t know what it really is because even as a child I didn’t really believe half the things my mother and the priests were saying. I just felt it was like a control thing. I don’t know anymore.

I used be able to make the same pledge as well.
What would be your response if some one asked what religion are you?
hang your head and mumble something about being a catholic?
look in the the person in the eye and say catholic and mean it?
i used use the first response for many yrs, lately i would be able to say the second.
i can sorta understand what you mean by" it’s stupid to call myself catholic."

When I was a teenager that was true. Not now though. Without any family help, I’ve come through that and I’m perfectly content with myself knowing I’m a bisexual woman. It’s not a struggle anymore, it’s who I am.

I’m going to try and start talking to God a bit more maybe. I think going back to mass or going to benediction would be just a bit too much for now. I’ve not been praying to God, so I think I’ll start there. Just in the form of a chat I think, because I’ve always struggled with those repetitive prayers. Even when I was a child when people said things like say three hail marys I was like why three? Why not one, or twenty. The mindless repetition did my head in. So maybe just a chat.

Yeah that’s how i used to feel as well.
Now i find the reasonable repetion a very good way to pray. Now the rosary may seem like repetion but the focus of the prayer and medition is shifted five times.

 

[sawman]

Bella92,
It is possible that you are affected by the sinful state you are living in. I don’t believe that you have the ability to perceive your condition in a true way. God is calling you, and you should respond. Let Him show you your true condition and how blind you are to sin. He can do so in the most gentle way, non judgmental way. I will pray for you today.
peace,
Tom

 

[Bella92]

What would be your response if some one asked what religion are you?
hang your head and mumble something about being a catholic?

I say I was brought up as a Catholic and leave it there.

 

[MichaelHowling]

Bella,

Your body is made to love and be loved. Selflessness is what the body shows itself as…not a tool for fun that objectifys who you lust after and is turned for enjoyment only for yourself.

Yes…masterbation does hurt you. It causes you to lust and missuse yourself. This causes your mind and heart to be warped. You begin to look at those who you fantasize about as objects for your own personal pleasure. This will lead you into more and more lust, and more objectifying of personhood. This can then play out in your life in some HORRIBLE ways. So it wounds your way of viewing the world, kills you spiritually, and plants in you seeds (in your mind and heart) to continue down that destructive path. Lastly, when you do wake up to what you’re doing…you find yourself actually addicted! And will have A VERY hard time stopping.

I put my email there so you had somewhere to go if you wanted help outside of a public forum. Getting spammed would have been worth it if it offers you any possible help.

Michael

 

[Bella92]

I put my email there so you had somewhere to go if you wanted help outside of a public forum. Getting spammed would have been worth it if it offers you any possible help.

Michael

I made a note of it if I ever feel I need it. I was just trying to stop you getting spammed to death. And thanks.