What do I expect at this meeting?

[cominghomeCC]

I’m working at getting my spiritual house in order.

The younger ones are doing the RCIC program and will receive baptism, First Eucharist, Confirmation in April, 2012.

I have been to reconciliation.

Now I have more to do. Today, Father called and I have an appointment on Friday with him. We are looking at setting my invalid marriage straight.

I don’t know what to expect. We have an irregular marriage. I only recently found out my husband is unbaptized and by his own admission wishes to remain thus

He has consented to the children going to RCIC as long as no one expects him to go to “Any of that church stuff”. So having the marriage blessed won’t work, as he’s stated he won’t go.

Any ideas what I am to expect on Friday? I have a copy of our marriage license and my baptism/confirmation certificate. He said he had some questions to ask. Last week, when he asked if I’d like to have the marriage blessed, I told him I’d love too, however dh isn’t a church goer, and he said that it can be worked around.

I feel like I’m going to be wasting his time

I’m so nervous. I still need to head back to reconciliation, and make a full and proper confession, last time I was so worked up, that Father kinda wrapped it up, knowing I wasn’t able to continue just then.

We’re on the final stretch, I’m nearly there…

 

[1ke]

Radical sanation may be an option. It convalidates your marriage without new exchange of consent. Your husband would not need to do anything.

This presumes there are no prior marriages for either of you.

Just let the priest guide you one step at a time.

 

[Neicy1951]

Thank you for posting. I don’t have any answers for you unfortunately but want to share that I am in a similar position within an invalid marriage. I so want to have it validated but something is blocking me from actually making the appointment to get the process started. Like you, my dh wants nothing to do with the Catholic church. Unlike you, we were both raised as Catholics and received all the sacraments up through Confirmation. I pray daily for his conversion (reversion), but know that he must hear the call from within his own heart as I did. I feel so sad when I see other couples and families together in church praying. He is so bitter with everything, and does not see how much inner peace he could find if only he would return to Jesus. Sometimes I am not sure that convalidating my marriage would be the right thing to do when he doesn’t really care. I asked him once and he agreed to go along with it “if he doesn’t have to do anything”. I do realize that the only way I can receive communion is to abstain from marital relations. We have not had an easy 42 years, but unfornunately there is no “do over” button in life. I just trust that God can see what is in my heart and give me the strength to do what he wants me to do in my remaining years on this earth. Two phrases that give me comfort are “Jesus I trust in you” and “I must live in this world, but need not be of this world”. Peace.

 

[cominghomeCC]

Thank you for posting. I don’t have any answers for you unfortunately but want to share that I am in a similar position within an invalid marriage. I so want to have it validated but something is blocking me from actually making the appointment to get the process started. Like you, my dh wants nothing to do with the Catholic church. Unlike you, we were both raised as Catholics and received all the sacraments up through Confirmation. I pray daily for his conversion (reversion), but know that he must hear the call from within his own heart as I did. I feel so sad when I see other couples and families together in church praying. He is so bitter with everything, and does not see how much inner peace he could find if only he would return to Jesus. Sometimes I am not sure that convalidating my marriage would be the right thing to do when he doesn’t really care. I asked him once and he agreed to go along with it “if he doesn’t have to do anything”. I do realize that the only way I can receive communion is to abstain from marital relations. We have not had an easy 42 years, but unfornunately there is no “do over” button in life. I just trust that God can see what is in my heart and give me the strength to do what he wants me to do in my remaining years on this earth. Two phrases that give me comfort are “Jesus I trust in you” and “I must live in this world, but need not be of this world”. Peace.

I’m so sorry to hear that, I know how it feels to want something so much, and not finding the support.

May I suggest you go talk to your priest? You may find some comfort in that, and more guidance? (hehe…coming from me that’s funny!! I’m just scared of the unknown, I know I’m asking alot of questions, it’s due to worry, impatience).

I am the world’s biggest coward. I’ve been floundering for direction and such for over a year. Actually it’s been way longer, probably 20 years, I just didn’t know I was. In the last few years, I’ve really been consciously soul searching. And found my way back to the Catholic church. I had accidently stumbled upon Fr. Barron, and debated forever about it, but emailed him for guidance. It’s much easier to take rejection by email than in person. Was I ever shocked to received a personal response not evey 2 hours later! So I began looking. I found this forum. It took me a long time to just post here… then it took 2 months to meet with the priest, and I was so nervous I didn’t ask all my questions. Then it took another 6 months to find myself at reconciliation. Fr. Jim told me God would lead me there when the time was right, that he wouldn’t push the issue. I found myself there suddenly, but the courage was low. I sucked it up, I did go. And to a priest I’m a little intimidated by, Fr. Michael.

Now not even a week later, I’ve a meeting with Fr. Michael to see what we can do about my marriage. The courage is building…

I am not well versed in the Catholic Faith, I thought I could never return due to past mistakes. This is why it has been so slow to happen for me, I simply didn’t know. Ignorance can be bliss, but it hurts us more than we know.

Don’t let pride and stubbornness prevent you from at least finding out. And remember, just because he doesn’t care, doesn’t me you don’t. There are 2 people involved, and from all the information I’m gleaning here, the Catholic Church doesn’t want to lose the faithful, sinners they may be. They want to gather their flock, hold them close.

What I’ve learned, I’d say you have a good chance of getting on track, as both of you are baptized, I’m really unsure about myself, being my husband is not baptized.

Please don’t let yourself fret, get some guidance from your priest!

 

[LilyM]

Don’t lose hope! St Peter denied Christ, St Paul persecuted Him, and yet they became THE pivotal figures in Christianity.

Radical sanction is an option definitely worth exploring - you wouldn’t be wasting anyone’s time.

I’m so sorry to hear that, I know how it feels to want something so much, and not finding the support.

May I suggest you go talk to your priest? You may find some comfort in that, and more guidance? (hehe…coming from me that’s funny!! I’m just scared of the unknown, I know I’m asking alot of questions, it’s due to worry, impatience).

I am the world’s biggest coward. I’ve been floundering for direction and such for over a year. Actually it’s been way longer, probably 20 years, I just didn’t know I was. In the last few years, I’ve really been consciously soul searching. And found my way back to the Catholic church. I had accidently stumbled upon Fr. Barron, and debated forever about it, but emailed him for guidance. It’s much easier to take rejection by email than in person. Was I ever shocked to received a personal response not evey 2 hours later! So I began looking. I found this forum. It took me a long time to just post here… then it took 2 months to meet with the priest, and I was so nervous I didn’t ask all my questions. Then it took another 6 months to find myself at reconciliation. Fr. Jim told me God would lead me there when the time was right, that he wouldn’t push the issue. I found myself there suddenly, but the courage was low. I sucked it up, I did go. And to a priest I’m a little intimidated by, Fr. Michael.

Now not even a week later, I’ve a meeting with Fr. Michael to see what we can do about my marriage. The courage is building…

I am not well versed in the Catholic Faith, I thought I could never return due to past mistakes. This is why it has been so slow to happen for me, I simply didn’t know. Ignorance can be bliss, but it hurts us more than we know.

Don’t let pride and stubbornness prevent you from at least finding out. And remember, just because he doesn’t care, doesn’t me you don’t. There are 2 people involved, and from all the information I’m gleaning here, the Catholic Church doesn’t want to lose the faithful, sinners they may be. They want to gather their flock, hold them close.

What I’ve learned, I’d say you have a good chance of getting on track, as both of you are baptized, I’m really unsure about myself, being my husband is not baptized.

Please don’t let yourself fret, get some guidance from your priest!

 

[puzzleannie]

Welcome home
the key to this meeting is being open, honest, and complete in the personal, family and marriage info the priest asks for. the more info he has, the better advice he can give you. Getting your children in RCIA is a major step and you will learn a lot simply by participating with them. Any parent meetings that are offered, attend, they will fill in a lot of the blanks for you.

 

[asia53]

I am the world’s biggest coward.

Absolutely not true! You’ve shown tremendous courage.:clapping:

Welcome home, cominghomeCC! You’ve been missed very much.

You’ll do fine in your upcoming meeting. As pointed out by a previous poster, be honest, forthcoming with all the details.

 

[cominghomeCC]

Welcome home
the key to this meeting is being open, honest, and complete in the personal, family and marriage info the priest asks for. the more info he has, the better advice he can give you. Getting your children in RCIA is a major step and you will learn a lot simply by participating with them. Any parent meetings that are offered, attend, they will fill in a lot of the blanks for you.

We have our last class before Christmas this evening. I am with my younger daughter so what they are learning, I do know, as it is very simplistic. I am thinking of joining in the adults course on Thursdays. I will talk to Sr. this evening if I can sneak in to the class.

 

[Spirithound]

Now I have more to do. Today, Father called and I have an appointment on Friday with him. We are looking at setting my invalid marriage straight.

I don’t know what to expect. We have an irregular marriage. I only recently found out my husband is unbaptized and by his own admission wishes to remain thus

He has consented to the children going to RCIC as long as no one expects him to go to “Any of that church stuff”. So having the marriage blessed won’t work, as he’s stated he won’t go.

I feel like I’m going to be wasting his time

May God bless you!
As others have said, radical sanation could be an option for you. Please don’t ever think that you are wasting Father’s time. Remember the mercy you received in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and know that that will carry into your personal meeting.

 

[cominghomeCC]

God Bless Sr. Cornelia, sweet lady.

She cancelled today’s class but forgot to tell us. It is rather humorous. Fr. came in to apologize as typically she doesn’t do that.

It could be everyone who showed up, wasn’t early the last class and she’d forgotten to repeat that announcement. Fr. said we get bonus points for coming.

We all told him, that was fine, scheduling errors can occur.

I left our gifts for Sr. and the seminarians. I do expect to hear from them tomorrow.

 

[cominghomeCC]

Yikes! Today is the meeting!!! I’m excited and nervous all at the same time.

I have a feeling it will be a long morning as I wait to go. Making my list of things todo, may as well put the nervous energy to good use.