J
jules11
Guest
I am new to all this so I do not know whether I’m doing it right or not, but I have a very pressing question. My good friend (who was my bridesmaid at my wedding) has been with a man on and off for about ten years. She has 3 children. (none of them to this man) With her first child, she did not marry and had nothing to do with the father. She then got pregnant to another man and married him when she was 16 weeks, and later had another child to him. The marriage broke up a few years later. Her youngest child is now 10. She has just found out that she is now pregnant to this man she has sort of been seeing. Two weeks ago she told me that she just couldn’t make it work with this guy and now she is planning to get married to him in April. She believes that the baby should not be born out of wedlock. She is not really a Christian but has been searching for many years.I have tried to guide her and advise her when I can. My problem is that she wants me to be her bridesmaid and I have told her that I can not be nor can I go to the wedding and she is devastated. She considers me to be her best friend and I just don’t know how to explain that I can’t participate in her wedding at all. The man she is marrying has been married before in the catholic church and therefore neither of them are free to marry. How do I support her without being judgemental? How do I get her to understand that even though neither of them are practising catholics, the marriage would be not valid in God’s eyes. They think that I am saying this from a “Catholic” point of view, therefore it does not apply to them. She thinks that although I don’t agree with the marriage that I should “respect” her position and at least “attend” the wedding, but in conscience, I cannot. Please give me some advice as what to say and how to explain the Church’s position, especially to two people that think that because they’re not practising catholics that it doesn’t apply to them.