What do I say to my sponsored child?

[sdeco]

Hi everyone,

Not sure if this is the right forum to post this – feel free to move it if it’s not.

Anyway, my husband and I are doing one of those sponsor a child things, where for $30 a month a poor child in another country gets food, medical care, etc. I wrote our sponsored child a short letter telling him about myself, and he wrote back. He lives in Venezuela, is 13 and in 8th grade, likes math and baseball, has 3 siblings and lives with his grandparents because his parents abandoned him. That’s all I know about him so for.

I want to write him again, but I am at a loss as to what to say. I already told him basic facts about myself, my husband and daughter, my job, hobbies, etc. Do I just tell him about what I’ve been doing? I don’t want him to feel bad if I talk about things a kid like him will probably never get to do, like going to my 5-year college reunion in a few weeks. I also don’t know if I should mention anything about his parents abandoning him – “I’m sorry your parents abandoned you” – ugh, it sounds so inane. I guess I feel like we have so little in common – I’m a 27-year-old American woman who lives a life of immense privilege compared to this kid. So what do I say?

 

[historybrat]

Well I think I would probably try to focus on him in my letters. Ask him questions so you can get some more information and build upon it. Like does he play on a team? If so does he have any games coming up? Why does he like math? What school does he go to? What does he want to be when he grows up?

I think you get the point. Once you get a reply then you can try to relate things about your life to his life, but with so little information I can understand why it would be awkward. Maybe tell him something exciting that recently happened in your life, and ask if anything exciting has happened in his.

Historybrat

 

[po18guy]

Christ’s peace. I usually stress that I pray for him/her, and speak of how loving our God is. I do not mention trips, vacations, possessions, etc. I concentrate on the goodness of life and spiritual matters. Out of necessity, I keep my letters short and to the point. Once you know a little more, you will be able to be more specific and detailed. If he sends artwork, thank him and let him know that you have placed it in a prominent place in your home. Mention any positive comments that it brings. I would respond to whatever he writes about in a caring and prayerful way. Thank him very much for his letters and prayers and assure him that you pray for him. Some will ask for a photo so that they will know who they are praying for. In Venezuela, he may have heard horrible things about Americans, so put your best foot forward!

Christ’s peace be with you.

 

[Guitar]

I have a 12-year old sponsor child in southern India, and I know how you feel. He was my father’s sponsor child, and when Dad said one day he worried that he might die before Suresh was 18, I promised him that we would take over the sponsorship if the fund would allow it. He did; they did.

We are advised to avoid sending photos/making statements that emphasise the “lifestyle gap” between us. As Dad said to me once, that’s basically impossible … but you try.

We are advised to ask the child questions in our letters but to keep them very simple so that a child of that age can answer them. (What is the climate like where you live? Tell me about your family. Do you have any animals or pets? What do you do in your school holidays? What are your favourite hobbies or school subjects?)

I tell “our” child about the drought where I live (as he always writes about the weather) and I send him photos of the Navy ships where I work because I know he hasn’t seen boats or ships. Because it is my job, it isn’t like I am boasting about personal wealth. I ask him about the herd of sheep his family is slowly building thanks to the sponsorship organisation. I tell him a little bit about my brothers’ lives, but keep it very simple.

My father started a habit of sending him postcards and photos, which has worked really well. At first he sent local ones and wrote a little bit about the native animals or scenery depicted, then when he ran out of those I asked my friends who travelled more widely to buy postcards for him, and now we have a steady supply of in-country and international postcards from places this child will probably never see that we can write to him about. It doesn’t matter that we haven’t bought them ourselves because of the “tradition” that Dad started. Dad also kept a disposable camera in the car for snaps of any local scene or animal or whatever that he thought would be new and different to Suresh. Things that seem ordinary to us can be exotic to overseas children and if you set this up as a regular thing, it isn’t hard to find a photo or postcard and something to write about to go with it.

Religion … that’s a bit different for us. Suresh is Hindu, but even so he sends Christmas and Easter cards (and sent a lovely Christian sympathy card when Dad died) and we send the same to him, and he tells us in his letters that all his family goes to the temple every day to pray for us and my father and give thanks for our help. He tells us about the festivals of the Lord Ganesha and the foods his mother prepares for the different religious days. We can readily and easily say we pray for each other regularly and we can talk about our different holy days but it is not appropriate to attempt evangelisation - that is best left to the Christian group running the programme who understand the difficulties of Christian missionary work in India. I guess that will be different for you if the child is in South America.

I hope some of that helps - getting in the habit of photos and postcards is probably the best advice I can offer.

 

[jasmine_n_july]

I have an 8-year old boy in Kenya. Maybe this will help you… it is hard to know exactly what to say, I know… but I have found that it is much easier and much more natural when I don’t “believe” that I am better off than him. Because in truth, I am not better off, if you think about the true riches that never decay. The Lord said, “the last will be first and the first will be last” in eternity. The Lord also said, “whatever you do unto the least of these, you do unto me”.

In that sense, then, this child is giving you a great opportunity- the opportunity to minister to the Body of Christ. I always come to my conversations with this little boy with great thanks because he has given me the opportunity to serve the Lord. I tell him thank you for letting me be his sponsor, and talk about spiritual things and my prayers for him.

I think those concerns fall away if you stop thinking about the material things in the world and stop placing so much value on them.