What do I tell my son when he has religion questions?

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From the day that I was a child my mother told me that going to the altar and having your marriage blessed by God was a very serious sacrament. She said that divorce did not exist once you took that step. Even though people claim that they have their marriage annuled, she always told me that nobody gets a divorce from God. A promise is a promise.
I listened very carefully, although I grew up and when I met my husband, I did not follow the rules exactly but I tried my best. I was expecting a child before we got married, we decided not long after to get married in city hall. That was in 1997, but my family was not satisfied they always kept telling that we should have a church ceremony so that our marriage can be blessed. I did not want to of course and did not feel ready. I always had my doubts, because we were both very young. In 2005 we decide to take the big step as I call it, and we had a small ceremony with only a couple of family members.
My sister had one daughter and four years hat she was living with her daughters father. From the beginning there union was not a fairy tale, her boyfriend had a girlfriend and a child when he met my sister. His first formal girlfirend and him were high school sweethearts. I know thas because we went to the same high school. He left his first girlfriend and son to be with my sister. At the time the girls mother died from cancer and she was left with little brothers to take care of and her son. She decided to give full custody of her son to his father.
My sister took on the responsibility of taking care of her boyfriends child and her own daughter that she had with him. In October of 2005, she finds out that her boyfriend is cheating on her. Durring that month there was a lot fighting as you can imagine, they decided to get married in city hall I guess to make the situation better. It did not work two weeks later he leaves the home to be with his new girlfriend, my sister does not even wait a month for him to come back and she gets herself a new boyfriend. She starts telling me about how she is going to marry this new man, meets his family, and makes a couple of comments on how she is going to leave her daughter in my care so that she can begin her new life. During this time she gave my nefew to his grandma and wanted nothing to do with him.
I was not shocked at all by their behavior because this is the kind of relationship they had from the day they met, I call it an open relationship, but I thought that with the arrival of my niece they might change. I guess that did not happen.
In july of 2006 they are back together and announcing that they are going to take the big step. They are going to have a church ceremony. I did not believe them at first with all the drama they went through, I thought they will give their recociliation a little more time before they take such a serious step. They made a big deal of this church ceremony my sister was even calling family in other states and countries to come to her ceremony. The date was set for May of 2007.
Another thing that also confused me was that when they got back together in July of 2006, they were attending other churches. They were going to evangelist and pentecostal Sunday mass, they were taking turns, they even enrolled their children in an evangelist private school. My sister also informed me that before she confessed with her priest for the church ceremony, that she will confess with another priest in another parish about her sins, and that was because her Dh did not know that during their separation she had a boyfriend. My immediate family knew about all of this drama and they were acting as if nothing was happening.
I told my mom that what happened to all the rules that she had given me, and did they not apply to my sister, too. She brushed me off. i also tried to bring up the subject on how they were not really Catholic because they hanged with evangelist and still do, and to me they were living a lie.
So since everybody ignored me and of course I was the bad guy for bringing up the issues, I decided that the best way that I can deal with it is to shut up, and that way I will not commit the sin anymore of judging them, and I will just not go to the church ceremony. I started to ignore the whole situation and act like my family acted, and act as if nothing was happening.
I have four children, a 10, 8, 3 year old and 10 month old. My Children have always been attached to my sisters. I am also like my mother and I try my best to teach my children Catholic religion. My sister and husband kept asking me for a while now if they can take my children to the movies, camping or just to hang out. I started to find out little by little that after the movies they take my children to another church, and that the camping out they did was an evalengistic camp out. I tried ignoring the situation for a while, but I do not think any longer. They know how I felt, about my feelings on protestant religions. All they did was bash me because I am a Catholic, and then dared to invite me to their church. I think my sister in a way tried having me convert. Now I think that they could not get me so they are going after my children.
The last straw was when my son asked my “What are we”? I told him we were Catholics. He said but I thought we were Christians. I told him that yes we are all christians because we believe that Jesus Christ died on a cross for our sins, and that we choose to follow the Catholic religion. A week later he asks me again, what religion is our parish I told him it is Catholic. He responded why is it that my Uncle and Aunt are not Catholic yet got to our parish church. I told myself that I cannot ignore the situation any longer because even my 10 year old is confused now. Please help me in this issue. Just recently I told my family that I will not let them take my children anymore.
 
Parents are the first and primary teachers of the Faith, good for you wanting to teach your dear son!!

Does your Parish have an Religious Education program (sometimes calld CCD or CCE or PRE)? This will help re-enforce our Faith for your child.

There are many good resources for you as a parent. At age 10, you might want to look at books by Amy Welborn called “Prove It!”

Prove It!: Church amazon.com/Prove-Church-Amy-Welborn/dp/0879739819/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1220051596&sr=8-1
 
Maria,
Your family has lost any trust they deserve if they took your children and tried to persuade them to be anything other than Catholic. You are within your rights to require yourself to be there if they are going to see them.

Good luck and prayers for you. It’s hard enough to raise good Catholic children without family trying to subvert it.

Queston #44 in chapter 6 of “Did Adam and Eve have Belly Buttons” answers the Christian vs. Catholic question. It’s target is teenagers but it might work for you and your son.
 
Parents are the first and primary teachers of the Faith, good for you wanting to teach your dear son!!

Does your Parish have an Religious Education program (sometimes calld CCD or CCE or PRE)? This will help re-enforce our Faith for your child.

There are many good resources for you as a parent. At age 10, you might want to look at books by Amy Welborn called “Prove It!”

Prove It!: Church amazon.com/Prove-Church-Amy-Welborn/dp/0879739819/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1220051596&sr=8-1
Actually my children have been taking religion formation classes in our parish, my son just did his comunion 2 years ago and my daughter is going to do hers this years. I am signing him up again this year so that he can continue his religious education. We also as a family attend mass on Sundays, or at least we try to as much as we can. That was onr reason why I did not understand why my sister would take my children somewhere else when they have their parish. Thanks for the suggestion of the book I will definitely buy it. My son is full of questions and I just feel like I do not have ebough answers for him.
 
Maria,
Your family has lost any trust they deserve if they took your children and tried to persuade them to be anything other than Catholic. You are within your rights to require yourself to be there if they are going to see them.

Good luck and prayers for you. It’s hard enough to raise good Catholic children without family trying to subvert it.

Queston #44 in chapter 6 of “Did Adam and Eve have Belly Buttons” answers the Christian vs. Catholic question. It’s target is teenagers but it might work for you and your son.
Hi, can I get more information on what you said, “Queston #44 in chapter 6 of “Did Adam and Eve have Belly Buttons” answers the Christian vs. Catholic question. It’s target is teenagers but it might work for you and your son”. This is a topic that will interest me. Where can I find it?
 
Hi, can I get more information on what you said, “Queston #44 in chapter 6 of “Did Adam and Eve have Belly Buttons” answers the Christian vs. Catholic question. It’s target is teenagers but it might work for you and your son”. This is a topic that will interest me. Where can I find it?
Umm… forget my last question, it just dawn on me its a book. Thanks for you (name removed by moderator)ut.
 
Don’t let your son attend any Protestant or Evangelical Church if it is causing him confusion.

It is important that you teach your son about the faith. I recommend the following book:

Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church

vatican.va/archive/compendium_ccc/documents/archive_2005_compendium-ccc_en.html

This book is entirely free on the Vatican website, but I recommend that you purchase a copy from your local Catholic bookstore.

This book is perfect for your son because it spells out the entire Catholic faith in an easy to undertand question and answer format. It is vitally important that you educate your son, and give him a firm grounding in the faith.

You have a responsibility to teach your son about your Catholic faith. The best way to teach is through example. You need to decide if you’re really serious about your faith. If you are, then you need to start living it. Create a Catholic culture in your home and encourage your son to pray the Rosary and attend Mass often.
I started to find out little by little that after the movies they take my children to another church, and that the camping out they did was an evalengistic camp out. I tried ignoring the situation for a while, but I do not think any longer. They know how I felt, about my feelings on protestant religions. All they did was bash me because I am a Catholic, and then dared to invite me to their church. I think my sister in a way tried having me convert. Now I think that they could not get me so they are going after my children.
Don’t let them do anything that goes against your wishes. They are overstepping the mark by trying to convert your son, when you are trying to raise him as Catholic. That is way out of line.

Although they may appear to be harmless, these Evangelical activities could be damaging to your son’s Catholic faith. There is a strong chance that these Evangelicals are trying to convert your son. The very fact that he comes home asking questions about religion is proof that these meetings are of a religious nature. I would not allow my son to attend these meetings. You should enquire about Catholic youth activities in your parish. It would be better for your son to mix with Catholic groups, as opposed to Protestant ones.

You will not agree with everything your family does, but try not to be judgemental, and I know it’s very hard not to be at times. You need to focus on you and your son. You need to deepen your own spiritual life and help your son be a faithful Catholic. Let your family do what they want, and don’t lose any sleep over it. Just concentrate on what you and your son do. Be there for your family and pray for them, but don’t feel responsible for the choices they make.

If your son asks about your family and their religious beliefs, don’t hesitate to tell him that they are wrong. Don’t let your son get confused; you need to tell him why protestantism is wrong. Tell him your sister is wrong for leaving the Church, and that you hope she will eventually realise this. You may feel harsh for doing this, but your son needs to know the truth.
 
you tell him in this family, we are Catholic Christians, this is what we believe, this is how we live, and you will learn more from me, from your Catholic school or CCD, and most of all from Mass, which you will attend with me every week.

Other people, even some people in our family have different beliefs. We know they are mistaken, but we still love them because they are family, but if one of them tries to trash our religion, you answer is always, please, I am not putting you down, please do not put me and my religion down.

you also inform your family members that you are Catholic Christians, and that attacks on your religion, especially aimed at your children, will be regarded as personal attacks on you, and you will act accordingly. make it very clear that if they do have to visit over the weekend they must be taken to Catholic Mass, but not no any non-Catholic church. In some families this might be ok occasionally, if the children also go to Mass, and understand why the other service is different, and have a good grounding in their own faith. In yours, it is always going to be a problem, esp. if your kids are already confused.

Don’t blame them, they want to love and honor their relatives, which is a good thing, but congratulations esp. on continuing their Catholic education, something so many parents neglect after 1st communion.
 
Hi, can I get more information on what you said, “Queston #44 in chapter 6 of “Did Adam and Eve have Belly Buttons” answers the Christian vs. Catholic question. It’s target is teenagers but it might work for you and your son”. This is a topic that will interest me. Where can I find it?
Oops. Out of context, I guess. There is a book called "Did Adam and Eve Have Belly Buttons." It’s a Catholic book designed to answer questions about the faith to teenagers. Similar to the previous suggestion for your 10 year old. We have it at home laying around for our kids to (hopefully) pick up and read. :o Here is a pointer I hope to the table of contents of it
 
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