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Melissa_Laurita
Guest
What do I tell people when they ask if I saved it for marriage. I have only had intercourse with one person, my husband, but it was when we were engaged.
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Carlj1497
Guest
When they ask “Did you save it for marriage?” just say “I’ve only had intercourse with my husband.” At least you won’t be lying.
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BlueEyedLady
Guest
I would go with the Miss Manners method of deflecting completely inappropriate and personal questions. Just look shocked and confused and say “I beg your pardon?”, if they have the gall to ask again look horrified and walk away.
What a rude question.
What a rude question.
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Samson01
Guest
nunya…
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PaulfromIowa
Guest
I cannot believe that anyone would be rude enough to ask you that. They would certainly not deserve an answer.
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AlTheCollegeGal
Guest
I completely agree with this. I cannot fathom that anyone would ask such a ridiculously rude question.
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
“Save WHAT for marriage??? My copy of ‘The Joy of Cooking?’ As a matter of fact, yes!”
LOL
Seriously, I would widen my eyes and say, “Oh my, but you ARE forward!”
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Bezant
Guest
Why on earth are they asking about your sexual history? It’s none of their business, really.
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agnes_therese
Guest
This. What nerve!
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EasterJoy
Guest
Let your jaw drop momentarily, and then after a second or two, say* “I beg your pardon?!?”* Then, even if they start to respond, act as if you had caught them noticing their zipper was left down…ignore the quesiton and politely change the subject.
That is none of their business, and they deserve to have every person they ask say so! Sheesh. Hope they don’t get a stall in Heaven next to the woman who washed the Lord’s feet with her hair!
OP, once a sin is confessed and repented, you can let it go. It is no one’s business, and nothing you ought to dwell on. Look at it just long enough to learn from it, amend your life, take whatever compassion for the rest of us sinners that you can take from it, and move on. After that, forget it.
That is none of their business, and they deserve to have every person they ask say so! Sheesh. Hope they don’t get a stall in Heaven next to the woman who washed the Lord’s feet with her hair!
OP, once a sin is confessed and repented, you can let it go. It is no one’s business, and nothing you ought to dwell on. Look at it just long enough to learn from it, amend your life, take whatever compassion for the rest of us sinners that you can take from it, and move on. After that, forget it.
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Allegra
Guest
I’m assuming by “people” you mean someone with whom you are extremely close and who is looking to you for guidance. (Like a daughter, sister, or lifelong girlfriend) In such a event, if you feel comfortable sharing your experience, I would tell the person the truth. You could add that even though you love your husband and are happy, you wish you had saved sex for marriage. (I also assume you feel that way because otherwise you wouldn’t be asking this question.)
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Bill_Martin
Guest
“None of your business.”
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Delaine75
Guest
The question itself is offensive because it’s prying into an aspect of your life that is none of anyone else’s business. Your answer should not affect their lives in any way, so I would simply tell them that you don’t feel it’s appropriate to discuss that aspect of your personal life.
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Trishie
Guest
We’re all in agreement.
If this person is a friend or a family member, you may face other intrusive questions at a later time, so at least you now know that you can brush off these questions without having to answer them. You’ve had some good suggestions regarding how to respond, so now you can be prepared. We don’t have to ‘buy into’ what others believe is their right to know of personal matters when it is none of their business.
You could also have said, “I believe in remaining chaste until the wedding night.”
And yes you do believe that as a Catholic, so there is no lie in that answer.
While the person may not have had the least malicious intention, and simply been curious as to whether anyone actually lives according to their Christian convictions…there are some questions that are between God and ourselves, or simply, are too personal. Boundaries!
God bless you and your husband, and may God bless your family and friends.
If this person is a friend or a family member, you may face other intrusive questions at a later time, so at least you now know that you can brush off these questions without having to answer them. You’ve had some good suggestions regarding how to respond, so now you can be prepared. We don’t have to ‘buy into’ what others believe is their right to know of personal matters when it is none of their business.
You could also have said, “I believe in remaining chaste until the wedding night.”
And yes you do believe that as a Catholic, so there is no lie in that answer.
While the person may not have had the least malicious intention, and simply been curious as to whether anyone actually lives according to their Christian convictions…there are some questions that are between God and ourselves, or simply, are too personal. Boundaries!
God bless you and your husband, and may God bless your family and friends.
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Adonia
Guest
Wow! Can’t even fathom anyone asking this question. But oh boy, depending on how far one would want to lower themselves, the questions that could be quickly asked back concerning such things.
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JRKH
Guest
While I don’t disagree with any of the posters above, I’d have to say that your answer might depend on who asks and in what context…
I mean - It’s probably safe to assume that this isn’t some stranger walking up and blurting out the question…Right?
So in what context is this sort of question coming up???
Right now I’m just kind of reviewing in my head the sorts of conversations where this would even come up??..:blushing:
Peace
James
I mean - It’s probably safe to assume that this isn’t some stranger walking up and blurting out the question…Right?
So in what context is this sort of question coming up???
Right now I’m just kind of reviewing in my head the sorts of conversations where this would even come up??..:blushing:
Peace
James
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Ophelia23
Guest
Now THIS would be an awesome response!!
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cat3gs
Guest
Ive had the same question thrown at me before. Where with friends or just stupid people.Or with teens really wanting to know from adults. I just told them…my husband is the only man Ive ever slept with. Sometimes–depending on who and what the atmosphere of the conversation is like—I add that I can always say that my husband is the best Ive ever had 
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agnes_therese
Guest
I really don’t see how that would matter. I can’t think of anyone from whom that would be an appropriate question.
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Allegra
Guest
I think it would be an appropriate question in the context of one’s own daughter, or perhaps a much younger sister or female family member, who is honestly trying to discern right and wrong and good and bad about premarital sex. I recall having this conversation with my CHRP sisters during formation, while we were discussing the reason why chastity before marriage is God’s plan for us. No one really called the question, as I recall, but the information was volunteered by many. We were discussing the benefits and graces of waiting until marriage and using personal experience as evidence. I can totally see having a similar discussion with one’s own daughter when they come of age.
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