What do I tell people?

[JRKH]

I really don’t see how that would matter. I can’t think of anyone from whom that would be an appropriate question.

I think it would be an appropriate question in the context of one’s own daughter, or perhaps a much younger sister or female family member, who is honestly trying to discern right and wrong and good and bad about premarital sex. I recall having this conversation with my CHRP sisters during formation, while we were discussing the reason why chastity before marriage is God’s plan for us. No one really called the question, as I recall, but the information was volunteered by many. We were discussing the benefits and graces of waiting until marriage and using personal experience as evidence. I can totally see having a similar discussion with one’s own daughter when they come of age.

Good answer Allegra…

Another situation where the question might be asked is between a person and their spiritual director or confessor…depending on what is being discussed, needing to be addressed, etc.

But I’m sure that is what what the OP was referring to…So - in most cases - I agree with others who have said to simply not answer or to defect the matter in some way.

Peace
James

 

[TrixieMcGee]

I agree with the other posts. I have been asked this and even though my hubby and I waited, I still find it rude. I usually tell them it is a very personal question and I really don’t want to discuss my sexual history with anyone but my husband. Some automatically assume that I slept with other people, but I really don’t care. I am done caring what people think.

 

[SMHW]

While I don’t disagree with any of the posters above, I’d have to say that your answer might depend on who asks and in what context…

I agree that there *might *be circumstances where the question should be answered…

But in general, I think the times that it would be useful to share such information are not going to occur in response to a direct question. Even if I thought my child, a potential suitor, or someone else ought to know I don’t think such people have the right to come up to me and ask me.

Unless for some reason someone’s sexual past had to be divulged in order to solve a crime (or something serious like that) I can’t think of a good reason why anyone should ask.

 

[Cristiano]

What do I tell people when they ask if I saved it for marriage. I have only had intercourse with one person, my husband, but it was when we were engaged.

I had a girl bringing up that kind of comment in one of my catechism classes on morality and moral behaviors, it was really about making out but it still applies. I simply said that one way or another I practically broke every one of the ten commandments and that the details are between me and my confessor. I also added that just because I am a wretch that does not mean that the Truth is less important it simply means that I have to become a better man. Me going to hell for my sins will not exempt them from hell, it will just make it more crowded.

 

[EasterJoy]

I agree with the other posts. I have been asked this and even though my hubby and I waited, I still find it rude. I usually tell them it is a very personal question and I really don’t want to discuss my sexual history with anyone but my husband. Some automatically assume that I slept with other people, but I really don’t care. I am done caring what people think.

I’m with you. Sharing information like this just encourages busybodies to form rash judgements on those who prefer to keep their privacy intact.

 

[Luvz2travel]

What do I tell people when they ask if I saved it for marriage. I have only had intercourse with one person, my husband, but it was when we were engaged.

If anyone had to the nerve to ask me such a thing I’d tell them it was none of their business. Such things in my opinion are between you and your spouse only. No one else has any business to know. If on the only had a daughter or girl was asking your advice on weather she should save sex for marriage it would be your own decision to share your experience.

 

[Irishmom2]

“I’m sorry, but that is really none of your business.”