What do lay people get to do about non-Catholics taking communion?

[Apryl]

I’m an EMHE at my parish, and have been for more than three years now.

I recently had an experience that I had never encountered before, not even when I was not an EMHE.

One of the teens at the parish came to mass a couple of Sundays ago with who appears to be her boyfriend. (I think that’s a great thing). When it was time for Communion, I was distributing the host, and he was the first in my group to approach.

When I gave him the Communion, rather than moving to my left, he stepped to my right, and had a cheezy smile, as he stood there. I told him ‘Go that way’. When the parishoner approached, I said, ‘He shouldn’t take Communion if he’s not Catholic’.

Ok, I know: I shouldn’t have said ANYTHING at that time. I lost it. (Mea Culpa!)

However, she is a third generation at this parish, so I don’t know how many of her friends/pals are non-Catholic, and I admire her for bringing a non-Catholic to mass. I also am sure she probably doesn’t realize how wrong it is for a non-Catholic to receive Communion (there are so many older, ‘wiser’ Catholics that don’t get it).

The priest was in the back - right in front of the altar. I was more to the front, at the Cross aisle.

What was I supposed to do? I haven’t seen the girl since then to say anything. She’s about 17 or 18 - I think she just graduated from High School, so I don’t know if I want to mention it to her grandmother.

If I mention it to her grandmother, do I call her at home, or do I wait until I see her again? Do I wait until she’s with her granddaughter?

If I leave her grandmother out of it, what do you say to an impressionable, probably-now-embarrassed teenager?

What should we be telling our EMHEs so that they are not caught off guard (as I was?)

 

[Lux_et_Tenebrae]

Hi,

Your Pastor is in charge, so you might really want to discuss this with him before you do anything.

It is a tough call when someone seems unprepared, but most priests are very reluctant to refuse anyone Holy Communion. It is difficult to know for certain.

If you can be discreet, you might ask if the person wants a blessing, but you really need to ask your Pastor how he wishes you to handle the situation. My pastor does not want us to refuse anyone who approaches.

Lux

 

[Apryl]

It is a tough call when someone seems unprepared, but most priests are very reluctant to refuse anyone Holy Communion. It is difficult to know for certain.

It was pretty obvious (after the fact) that the parishoner had coached her friend on what to do in order to receive. I had no reason to think he was NOT Catholic… until he had the Communion in his mouth.

Had he walked around and to his seat, I would never have been the wiser. As he was the first in the line, he just froze. (Poor kid)

Yes, I will take this to my Pastor, and let him know how I was challenged, and ask his advice.

When I hear from him, I will try to forward to this board his response. I do expect a lot of him!

 

[Apryl]

When I hear from him, I will try to forward to this board his response. I do expect a lot of him!

… and he didn’t disappoint!

I called and told him of the situation. He said that I reacted as I should (the young man was not disrespectful)

In the future, should I see some one approaching that I do not BELIEVE to be Catholic, I should extend my hand to give them a blessing. Should they persist, perhaps they are Catholic (I can’t determine that in the Communion Line; I just have to take their word), go ahead and give them Communion

Talk about a load off of my shoulders.

 

[Ilroy]

Another thing that might help to avoid these situations is if ALL our priests would make some sort of announcement discouraging non-Catholics from coming forward to recieve…I know…good luck getting all of our priests to do that…

 

[Apryl]

Another thing that might help to avoid these situations is if ALL our priests would make some sort of announcement discouraging non-Catholics from coming forward to recieve…I know…good luck getting all of our priests to do that…

Not only that, do we, as parishoners really want to hear that at every mass?

I would put that in the same pile as hearing, week after week, about the financial needs.

Yes, they are still there. Yes, we need to support our parishes. But I’m there for the Celebration of the Mass so that I may receive the Eucharist. Hearing ‘housecleaning’ at every mass… I don’t think that’s appropriate

(We could use the bulletins, though)

 

[banjo]

…
In the future, should I see some one approaching that I do not BELIEVE to be Catholic, I should extend my hand to give them a blessing. .

Apryl,

Would you clarify what you mean by “give them a blessing”?

Thanks

 

[PatienceAndLove]

Another thing that might help to avoid these situations is if ALL our priests would make some sort of announcement discouraging non-Catholics from coming forward to recieve…I know…good luck getting all of our priests to do that…

I hear it every Sunday.
“The way we do things at this mass… Everyone is invited to come forward. To receive our Lord in Communion, you must be Catholic and you must be in a state of grace. If you are neither of those, you need to get in my line and place your hand over your heart, so I know you want a blessing”

 

[KatieD]

Wow - that’s a great way to do it. I have a friend who is an EMHC and whose husband is not Catholic. He has attended Mass with her for years at their parish, has absolutely no intention of ever converting, and goes up and receives every week. It drives me crazy that they completely ignore the Church’s teachings. Of course, our parish also has a Director of Liturgy who told me that HER opinion (of course, that’s what’s important, her opinion rather then Church teachings apparently) is that it doesn’t matter if a non-Catholic receives. If they want to receive, so what?

I think your priest is doing a wonderful thing.

 

[Apryl]

Apryl,

Would you clarify what you mean by “give them a blessing”?

Thanks

I don’t know what he meant, but I took that to say that as EMHE, I would extend my hand, make the sign of the cross on the person’s forward, and say ‘In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit’.

Then they could proceed.

 

[Apryl]

I have a friend who is an EMHC and whose husband is not Catholic. He has attended Mass with her for years at their parish, has absolutely no intention of ever converting, and goes up and receives every week. It drives me crazy that they completely ignore the Church’s teachings. .

I have a friend who used to be in charge of the Catechism program, and she does the same thing. Her non-Catholic husband, receiving Communion, EVERY week.

“No one knows he’s not Catholic. The Deacon thought he was Catholic. I had to tell him.”

I didn’t have the heart (or was it ‘guts’?) to tell her, ‘That’s why he had been receiving. Those that needed to know didn’t’

That’s like lying in church, isn’t it?

 

[banjo]

I don’t know what he meant, but I took that to say that as EMHE, I would extend my hand, make the sign of the cross on the person’s forward, and say ‘In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit’.

Then they could proceed.

I only asked because it is my understanding that only the ordained, i.e., priests and deacons, are authorized to administer a blessing using the sign of the cross.

 

[KatieD]

I actually had a very short exchange with my friend about this situation once. She said that “technically” her husband is not supposed to receive. I said that no, he was not to receive unless he becomes Catholic (there’s no “technically” about it). Her response was that he’s more worthy than most of the people in the parish. I told her that actually none of us is really worthy. Then we dropped the subject. So he is basically pretending to be Catholic, and of course, most people in the parish don’t know that he isn’t. And if asked whether he will ever be Catholic, he’ll answer that it will be a cold day you-know-where when he’ll do that.

 

[Edward62]

That is really very sad that the young man was so disrespectful… just pitiful really. What did he think he had to gain?

On a related but slightly different note, I have a question: why is it that non-Catholics aren’t allowed to recieve the Holy Eucharist? I know that they aren’t but I never really figured out why… I mean, they are God’s creation and it is Jesus’ body and blood… so it’s not like their lack of faith/brains changes that reality. It seems like taking part in such a wonderful thing as the Eucharist would help convert people.

 

[Apryl]

That is really very sad that the young man was so disrespectful… just pitiful really. What did he think he had to gain?

On a related but slightly different note, I have a question: why is it that non-Catholics aren’t allowed to recieve the Holy Eucharist? I know that they aren’t but I never really figured out why… I mean, they are God’s creation and it is Jesus’ body and blood… so it’s not like their lack of faith/brains changes that reality. It seems like taking part in such a wonderful thing as the Eucharist would help convert people.

I’m going to guess you are talking about the young man in my story (the only one I’ve noticed described as ‘young man’).

I don’t think he was being disrespectful. I think he was at mass, and wanted to participate. No one, I’m sure, had told that he wasn’t to receive Communion. I’m sure the young lady who brought him didn’t realize it was a no-no. Why should he have known?

As for why non-Catholics are not to receive: When one approached the altar to take part in the Body and Blood of Christ, we are saying, by our presence at the altar, that we all believe that we are receiving the Body and Blood of Christ. If you do, you are part of the experience (is there a better word to use here?). We as Catholics, who have received the sacrament of the First Holy Communion, are supposed to be at this point, and share this belief.

If one is not Catholic, they are not in Communion with the church, and as such, should not take part of the communal meal.

 

[Lux_et_Tenebrae]

I only asked because it is my understanding that only the ordained, i.e., priests and deacons, are authorized to administer a blessing using the sign of the cross.

Hi,

The ordained are the only ones who can bless by making the sign of the cross over someone. Anyone may trace the sign of the cross on the forehead, or place their hands on the head and ask for God’s blessing.

Lux

 

[Apryl]

Hi,

The ordained are the only ones who can bless by making the sign of the cross over someone. Anyone may trace the sign of the cross on the forehead, or place their hands on the head and ask for God’s blessing.

Lux

What is the difference?

Are you saying the ordained are BLESSING, while the un-ordained are ASKING for a Blessing?

 

[Lux_et_Tenebrae]

Hi again,

That is part of how I remember it explained to me. The other point is gestures reserved to the ordained. Blessing over a person or item is only for the ordained.

Lux

 

[Miserissima]

So, if you’re bringing a non-Catholic to Church, and your pal wants a blessing, should you tell the priest beforehand? And only be in his line?

See, I don’t get this blessing stuff. You’re in the presence of the Eucharist, and you’re formally blessed, throughout the Mass.

With as many liturgical abuses I’ve seen around my diocese, I have never seen blessings given in the Communion line, unless it’s to a baby or a toddler.

If the desire to approach the Altar with everyone else is that strong, call your nearest RCIA class. What effrontery to not participate fully but expect a singular blessing. Hrrumph.

It’s like not attending the wedding ceremony, but showing up to the reception in a bridesmaid’s outfit or a tux and passing yourself off as a member of the wedding party.

On a side note: I’ve brought many friends to Mass and the only thing that irritates me is when they sit instead of kneel at the consecration. And I cannot imagine that they expect a blessing after that! My philosophy is: if you’re going to recognize the authority of my priest to bless, you’d darn well better recognize the faith of the assembled body and the whole authority of the priest in persona Christi. Otherwise, stay safely in the pew, and get the general blessings there. Save us both the headache.

 

[Apryl]

Hi again,

That is part of how I remember it explained to me. The other point is gestures reserved to the ordained. Blessing over a person or item is only for the ordained.

Lux

I think you misunderstood my question (“Are you going today or tomorrow?” “Yes”)

What I want to know is a better description of what you are saying is acceptable.

And what is the difference in what is acceptable, and what is not.