What do they mean by Unequally yoked?

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James1990

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Hi guys… I think I intend to talk to the priest soon regarding this issue. It has really been on my mind for awhile. The issue is that the catholic church allows mixed marriages after a dispension (if the non catholic one agrees to bringing up the children etc) but then why is the quote in the bible in corithians warning about being unequally yoked to unbelievers.

How do I make sense of this 2 apparent contradictions? I just want to know your opinions… I’ll probably go ask a priest this question soon.
 
James, it is a common misunderstanding, but the non-Catholic spouse is not obligated to make a commitment to bring kids up in the Faith – the Catholic partner is 100% responsible for this. I mean, when you think about it, how can a non-Catholic teach the Faith to the kids?

Still, being equally yoked applies not only to spiritual life, but also to find someone who is compatible emotionally, intellectually and physically as well.
 
Being unequally yoked, is some thing farm people would understand. When animals very different in size or type, are yoked together, usually the stronger ends up doing all the work. They don’t travel in the same direction, and the yoke which may be made of wood would be tilted, and sit on them lopsided, and dig into thier skin, and create sores.😦 the off center pulling could make the wagon roll catewompis ( a little side ways) which makes steering difficult. It might even result in “kicking against the goads” When an animal gets so frustrated it kicks the wagon to make it back off! Which it can’t since it is tethered to the kicker. Pretty much this arrangement would frustrate both animals, and the driver. It would be faster to just use one animal to pull.

Jesus being a carpenter claimed His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. His Yoke would be perfectly carved and rounded, so as to be a custom fit, that you could lean into with out pain. It would be designed to help you pull your load! 🙂 I hope that helps.
 
James1990 said:
Contramundum, how recent exactly??
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I’m not sure exactly when. I suspect in the last few decades. A friend once told me that her father left the church in order to marry her mother - a protestant. They couldn’t get married in a Catholic church. That was about 65 - 70 years ago.
 
Would your lady be Christian? Would she go to Church with you, and the Children?
 
Unequally yoked means that one spouse is doing all the spiritual work in the family and the other spouse isn’t there to be the back up if the first spouse loses strength or courage. You want a spouse that will help you get up and get the kids ready for Mass when you are exhausted. You want someone who is not going to be whispering in their ear that they don’t have to follow the teachings of the Church once they get grown. You don’t want someone who undermines you by rolling his or her eyes at every family prayer. You don’t want someone who is going to whip themselves up a steak and eat it right in front of your kids on a Friday during Lent.
 
I dont know about going to Church part with the kids… But i know she will probably not say any bad things about the religion.
 
When the Apostle talked about being unequally yoked, he was referring to any covenant-type relationship (including marriage) between believers and unbelievers (pagans or Jews). We can’t know what he would have said about marriages between partners belonging to different Christian faith groups. That situation didn’t exist in his day.

However, having seen many mixed marriages in my day, I think it’s not a good idea. In my case (wife was cradle Catholic, I had been baptized Lutheran, brought up Pentecostal, but at that time was living as lower-case pagan) it worked out. (I had a conversion experience, eventually dragged her out of the Catholic Church; then God dragged me into the Catholic Church, and she beat me back in.) However, in every congregation in which I have been involved, I have seen sad spouses (usually wives) whose mates refuse to have anything to do with the religion. The blush of “twue wuv” can make the differences in religion seem small, but that will not last.
 
There’s no contradiction when we’re allowed to do things which we are advised not to do. It basically means there is no absolute ban but the problem is taken very seriously. 🙂

As for St. Paul, there are some instances where he dispenses personal advice which is not a divine command relayed by that tireless Apostle.
 
chevalier said:
There’s no contradiction when we’re allowed to do things which we are advised not to do. It basically means there is no absolute ban but the problem is taken very seriously. 🙂

As for St. Paul, there are some instances where he dispenses personal advice which is not a divine command relayed by that tireless Apostle.
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That’s true, but not, I think, when he starts quoted the Old Testament, as he does here.
 
Oh no… I think i didnt phrase it well… when i said mixed marriage i wasnt talking about protestant/catholic but more of catholic/free thinker or such…

Also, I thought this corithians quote is in the new testament not the old?
 
DaveBj said:
That’s true, but not, I think, when he starts quoted the Old Testament, as he does here.
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According to the Catholic Encyclopedia Apostles were infallible more or less like a Pope, Dave. That’d make them impossible to reverse on final definitions and very hard to reverse on other matters. But just like a Pope they could have private opinions.
 
James1990 said:
I dont know about going to Church part with the kids… But i know she will probably not say any bad things about the religion.
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That is the very minimum standard for anyone in your life. Do you really want to sign on with a partner who cannot or will not pull her weight with raising your children as Catholics? If you have girls, she will not be able to role model what a Catholic young lady should aim for: modesty and chastity and putting Jesus first in her life. There will be a huge void when it comes to praying together and living out your faith. The children will reflect this void. It is hard for one parent to do the whole job, and it is hard for the non-Catholic spouse to keep from voicing his or her opinions in subtle and sometimes unsubtle ways.

I would not advise this. Sometimes spouses do convert, it is true, but you cannot bank on that, and you put your children and their children, on through generations, on a shaky foundation by marrying a non-Catholic. Let’s not even go into marrying a non-Christian.
 
It’s allowed, because people are stubborn and will do it anyway, but it requires a dispensation because it’s just not a good idea. Bringing up children Catholic is difficult enough with two Catholic parents who are on the same page spiritually. There are problems even before children. Will your spouse be OK with not using contraception? With time you spend at Mass, adoration or Bible study? Will they be OK with a crucifix at home, pictures of saints, etc? Will they say a family rosary? Will they go to Mass with you and the children every Sunday? Will they reinforce the moral lessons you will want to teach to your children about, say, premarital sex, abortion, homosexuality, contraception, dating, etc? What if your child asks them about God, and their answer contradicts what you’ve been telling them? What about sending your children to Catholic school, or CCD? Will he or she take them to Catholic events? A non-Catholic spouse simply can not do all of these things, and it wouldn’t be fair to expect it of them, either.
 
Mangaartist said:
It’s allowed, because people are stubborn and will do it anyway, but it requires a dispensation because it’s just not a good idea. Bringing up children Catholic is difficult enough with two Catholic parents who are on the same page spiritually. There are problems even before children. Will your spouse be OK with not using contraception? With time you spend at Mass, adoration or Bible study? Will they be OK with a crucifix at home, pictures of saints, etc? Will they say a family rosary? Will they go to Mass with you and the children every Sunday? Will they reinforce the moral lessons you will want to teach to your children about, say, premarital sex, abortion, homosexuality, contraception, dating, etc? What if your child asks them about God, and their answer contradicts what you’ve been telling them? What about sending your children to Catholic school, or CCD? Will he or she take them to Catholic events? A non-Catholic spouse simply can not do all of these things, and it wouldn’t be fair to expect it of them, either.
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If I could “like” your post, I would! :clapping::clapping::clapping::sad_yes: Well stated!
 
James1990 said:
Oh no… I think i didnt phrase it well… when i said mixed marriage i wasnt talking about protestant/catholic but more of catholic/free thinker or such…

Also, I thought this corithians quote is in the new testament not the old?
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Yes, I and II Corinthians are in the New Testament, but my point was that Paul was quoting Old Testament passages to back himself up, which takes “be not unequally yoked together” beyond the realm of Paul’s personal opinion.
 
Mangaartist said:
It’s allowed, because people are stubborn and will do it anyway, but it requires a dispensation because it’s just not a good idea. Bringing up children Catholic is difficult enough with two Catholic parents who are on the same page spiritually. There are problems even before children. Will your spouse be OK with not using contraception? With time you spend at Mass, adoration or Bible study? Will they be OK with a crucifix at home, pictures of saints, etc? Will they say a family rosary? Will they go to Mass with you and the children every Sunday? Will they reinforce the moral lessons you will want to teach to your children about, say, premarital sex, abortion, homosexuality, contraception, dating, etc? What if your child asks them about God, and their answer contradicts what you’ve been telling them? What about sending your children to Catholic school, or CCD? Will he or she take them to Catholic events? A non-Catholic spouse simply can not do all of these things, and it wouldn’t be fair to expect it of them, either.
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Jeremiah_29_11 said:
If I could “like” your post, I would! :clapping::clapping::clapping::sad_yes: Well stated!
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+1

It’s allowed, but it’s a really, really bad idea.
 
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