What do you do if you regret converting?

[sojo]

A fellow convert here. Let’s look at it from this viewpoint - both you and I found the Catholic church extremely appealing at one time. When you think about it now - it really is a troublesome religion compared to others. It demands so much, and its quite complicated, and it is so easy to mess up.

Yet, at the time, we were enchanted by the faith. Why? Why, its because we were being CALLED! We were drawn to this faith - its a calling, a vocation. We were called by God to take this path.

But once we take the path, its not all roses and sunshine. Faith is hard sometimes, elusive, and as I mentioned - Catholicism is not the easiest religion. None of this, “saved once, saved forever” or “just read the bible for yourself and you’ll get the gist of it,” or “if you screw up, just tell God you are sorry and you are off the hook,” no “well, if the marriage is messed up just get a divorce and find another husband.”

But then I remember that I was CALLED. You were CALLED. That is what we found attractive in what most people don’t really find so very attractive.

Pray and study but for goodness sake, don’t turn back on a legitimate call from God. You will forever regret it.

 

[3DOCTORS]

Just so you aren’t confused - the author of Dark Night of the Soul was St. John of the Cross - but there is indeed a St. Paul of the Cross also so it’s easy to get them confused.

Another suggestion - Scott Hahn, who is a convert himself, has excellent books and CDs and DVDs on Scripture from a Catholic perspective. He really knows his stuff and is engaging to listen to. His book Rome Sweet Home is all about his conversion process. Even lifelong Catholics can learn a lot from it!

Does your parish have a Scripture Study you could join? :bible1: That might help you understand the Biblical aspect of Catholicism afresh, and also be a place to ask questions and share your faith with others and not feel alone in your current state of uncertainty. :grouphug:

 

[Monte_RCMS]

For whatever reason, we Catholics are under constant attack.

I don’t know why. [Well, maybe I do.]

I find myself sometimes going back to the very basics.

Jesus founded the Church.

There were “challenges” along the way.

300 years of persecution, during which all the Popes were killed.

600 years later, Islam came along. Wars.

1500 years later there was the Protestant revolution, based on Henry the VIII’s sexual “needs” and Martin Luther’s protests getting out of hand.

So I start in with things like: I believe in God the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth. And in Jesus Christ His only Son, Our Lord. Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit. Born of the Virgin Mary. Suffered under Pontius Pilate. Was crucified. Died. And was buried. He descended into hell. And rose from the dead on the third day. He ascended into Heaven and sits at the right hand of the Father. From whence He shall come to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Catholic Church, the Communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins, resurrection of the body, and life everlasting.

Just take these one at a time.

Some of it is a lot to wrap your mind around.

Some is so wonderful that you can get lost in it.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

I read this book the other day.

dynamiccatholic.com/index.php?page=confessions

He really talks a lot about his conversion from being a Methodist minister to being an ordinary Catholic layperson.

He talks a lot about the challenge of John 6 … verses 20 to 70 or so.

And he talks a lot about the “communion of saints” … how we don’t adore or worship the saints, but how we should not ignore them either.

How Catholic worship does not revolve around the ability of the priest to write a great sermon, but how it focuses around the Consecration.

Excellent read. Easy to follow.

He suggests looking at Dali’s “Last Supper”

And reading Kreeft’s “Jesus Shock”.

And reading Joan Carroll Cruz’s fabulous book, " The Incorruptables".

 

[3DOCTORS]

Another recommendation - Alex Jones “No Price Too High” video and book - most of his entire church congregation converted.

 

[promethius]

Just so you aren’t confused - the author of Dark Night of the Soul was St. John of the Cross - but there is indeed a St. Paul of the Cross also so it’s easy to get them confused.

AAAAH! Mea Culpa! Thank you, 3DOCTORS!

 

[valient_Lucy]

You should be part of the system you believe to be true, even if you don’t like where it takes you.

I read that even Pope Benedict encouraged his JW cousin for following her beliefs.

The thing is, I don’t really want to leave the Church, partly because I’d be too embarrassed to do it.

 

[valient_Lucy]

Dear Lucy, I hope you will find your questioning as a springboard for learning more about the Church as coming from the loving heart of Jesus.

vatican.va/archive/catechism/p123a9p1.htm

The Catechism of the Catholic Church is available in full online.

May the Holy Spirit guide you, and help you to fully participate in the gifts of the Sacraments.

God’s kindest blessings to you.

Thanks. We can always hope for the best.

 

[valient_Lucy]

Maybe we should address why you harbour doubts and why you think these doubts cannot be abolished?

We probably should, but unfortunately I’m still too angry and hurt to have a rational discussion about specific points. Maybe another time.

 

[valient_Lucy]

Faith comes from within. It takes faith to believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God. It takes faith to believe that Jesus Christ is God Incarnate. None of these can be “proved” to be true.

Faith is an act of the will. It is not a “feeling”.

Talk with a priest, or the Catechist who helped form you. These thoughts may be temptations from the Evil One to lead you astray. Pray for the Holy Spirit to help you with this struggle.

Yeah, that’s the tough thing, faith being an act of the will. You can’t prove that the Catholic Church really was founded by Christ, or that it’s never erred in its teachings. It’s just something you have to accept. But it’s so difficult. “Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.”

 

[valient_Lucy]

"… if this plan or this undertaking is of men, it will fail; but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them. (Act 5:38-39)

All institutions of merely human origin will eventually fail.

One of the strongest arguments for the divine origin of the Catholic Church is its persistance and growth in the world despite the attempts of those outside the Church to destroy it, the attempts of those within the Church (heretics and schismatics) to destory it, and the sometimes widespread moral corruption of its members and its leadership.

Good points.

 

[valient_Lucy]

Well put Todd! If it is true that the Catholic church is simply a system of men, then the church should have fallen a long time ago. After all, we all agree that the Church is composed of sinners (even the saints). And yet… it has survived. How can this be possible if not through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

If you have doubts, that is perfectly naturally to be experiencing as a new convert. The devil is always prowling the world.

Especially during these times when we constantly hear about Father this and Bishop that… doing this and that in this whole child abuse scandal. But always remember that we ALL have our occasional doubts. Some last longer than a few weeks. But Christ has brought you to his Church and in this day and age, enabled you to have a variety of tools (phone, internet, catechism, priests, the ability to read etc…) to seek out the truth.

So if you feel strongly convinced that you want to leave the church you should ask yourself these questions: Have I giving the Church a chance to defend itself against the charges brought upon it? Have I talked to priests, looked at the Catechism or asked my objections here on Catholic answers and received answers that represent the true teachings of the church? You should be able to answer that YES, so that you can properly reject the church for what seems to you bad teaching. This is what we ultimately judge the church by. Not whether it’s members misbehave or act immorally, but whether the Church teaching is the truth and if this is the Church that Jesus established.

Please consider seeking out a thourough response from the Catholic church about your objections. Just remember that even after you leave the church, you can always come back to the fullness of truth.

I’m not strongly convinvced that I want to leave the Church. You do have some good suggestions as to who I should talk to and what I should do.

On the other hand, I feel a little guilty, because I never did that with my Protestant pastor before I left. I should have given him a chance to explain why the doctrine of the Real Presence was demonic, rather than dismissing it.

 

[valient_Lucy]

Lucy,

Christ formed His Church from it’s beginning in Judaism. She’s been His for 2,000 years. How can your instructors, members of other denominations, level such a charge against the Church, that she was “invented” by man?

If that is true of the Catholic Church, what does that say about the various protestant denominations? Who invented them?

Protestant churches have no difficulty saying that they were invented by men. They don’t pretend to be otherwise.

 

[valient_Lucy]

Thanks again for your responses. I’m trying to go through and respond to each one individually, though this will take some time, so be patient.

 

[valient_Lucy]

It sounds as though you were attending a Christian school that was saying the Catholic Church was wrong. Would I be correct in that assumption?

If so, perhaps you might be feeling some guilt and nostalgia, and like you were being disloyal to those who gave you positive things but did not agree with your decision to convert. This would be only natural.

Yet, something did drive you to convert. Was it of your own volition? Was it for a boyfriend or other person?

If you converted for reasons totally your own, perhaps some in-depth study of the Ask an Apologist threads might yield an answer to the particular issues of doctrine that you are struggling with. If you converted for someone else and don’t feel steady, you might also discover for the first time how to make your conversion truly your own.

We can know with certainty - Jesus said “You are Peter, and on this rock I will build my Church, and the gates of Hell will not prevail against it.” He promised to send the Holy Spirit, and He promised to be with the Church always till the end of time. Hopefully this (explained in greater depth by better apologists than me) will help you lay to rest the “uncertainty” doubt and the “invented by man” doubt.

As regards feelings, well, we can’t always trust them. They can give us information, but it’s the will that decides, the will that commits and carries out the commitments it made. Feelings can be fickle and they can even lie to us at times. They can also be useful and good. But they can’t be the sole barometer for our faith.

It could very well be that you are going through a “dark night of the soul” where God is allowing your faith in the Catholic Church to be tested by not having the feelings of consolation that it originally brought. If this is the case, and you can remain faithful and trusting, you will come out on the other side with stronger faith and it will have been worth it. I’ll be glad to pray for you.

Close, I went to secular schools all through my bachelor’s degree, but I attended Protestant churches my whole life. Maybe it is partly some nostalgia. There are a couple of things I do miss.

I had been investigating the Catholic Church on my own. But I do think I might have joined to quickly. During summer vacation of my senior year, I found out I needed major surgery during my winter break. It wasn’t life threatening, but I did spend two weeks in the hospital afterwards. I was scared. For the first time in my life, I really feared for my health. So I went ahead and attended RCIA, because I didn’t want to die outside of the Church. I doubt I would have converted then, if that hadn’t happened.

I’m trying not to give too much heed to my feelings, and I am trying to research what the Church teaches, so that I can overcome my doubts. It’s hard though. I might give it a rest for a while.

Please do pray for me.

 

[promethius]

We probably should, but unfortunately I’m still too angry and hurt to have a rational discussion about specific points. Maybe another time.

I’ve sent you a private message with my email address. You can feel free to be as unrational, as angry, and as hurt as you like. Conversely, if you’d prefer talking to someone face to face your favorite priest and/or confessor would be an excellent one to approach.

There is nothing they haven’t heard in the course of priestly duties, so there is nothing to be ashamed of in talking with them.

Peace be with you, Lucy

 

[3DOCTORS]

On the other hand, I feel a little guilty, because I never did that with my Protestant pastor before I left. I should have given him a chance to explain why the doctrine of the Real Presence was demonic, rather than dismissing it.

He actually believed it was demonic?! Whoa! I know it’s going to sound like, sure, I would be appalled at that because I’m a cradle Catholic, and yes, you would be correct. :sad_yes: I’m a cradle Catholic and that would be one reason. But far from the only reason.

My understanding of the Eucharist and the Real Presence has been taught to me over time, at whatever age and grade level I was as a student. I’ve reflected and studied to understand it even more deeply as an adult. And I’ve experienced it when receiving Holy Communion and going to Eucharistic Adoration. It’s not a big flashy thing with neon lights, I just know He’s there.

But if you read the 6th Chapter of John’s Gospel and see how emphatic Jesus Himself was about the Real Presence, how could anyone claim it to be demonic? If they believed in the Bible? And how the Jews of His own time realized He was speaking literally and some of them went away because of that very thing - they just couldn’t get their minds around it.

Close, I went to secular schools all through my bachelor’s degree, but I attended Protestant churches my whole life. Maybe it is partly some nostalgia. There are a couple of things I do miss.

I had been investigating the Catholic Church on my own. But I do think I might have joined to quickly. During summer vacation of my senior year, I found out I needed major surgery during my winter break. It wasn’t life threatening, but I did spend two weeks in the hospital afterwards. I was scared. For the first time in my life, I really feared for my health. So I went ahead and attended RCIA, because I didn’t want to die outside of the Church. I doubt I would have converted then, if that hadn’t happened.

I’m trying not to give too much heed to my feelings, and I am trying to research what the Church teaches, so that I can overcome my doubts. It’s hard though. I might give it a rest for a while.

Please do pray for me.

You bet I’ll pray! I also invite you and others to check out this group that I started to address situations like yours. It’s kind of small yet, but I think we could get some good (name removed by moderator)ut going. Here’s the link if you or anyone is interested -

Tiber River Lifeboat Patrol: forums.catholic-questions.org/group.php?groupid=664

I can see how you might feel you rushed the decision, but that doesn’t necesarily make it a bad one. Taking your time sounds like a wise idea.

God bless you!

 

[Monte_RCMS]

A friend of mine was having all kinds of “reservations” and “regrets” about the Church.

Said she started going to daily Mass before work. Just kind of sat in the back.

It was very early in the morning.

Just an ordinary daily Mass. No singing. No collections. No long sermons.

The priest had to get everyone out quickly so they could get to work.

It was Catholic worship at its very basic essentials.

She said that after a while something happened to her.

She couldn’t explain it, but something just clicked into place.

Sometimes after Mass, the priest would have time for discussion and confession.

She said it was very low key and very helpful.

 

[jesuspsr]

Happy New Year everyone!!! May God embrace you in his loving arms through out the new year.

Hi Lucy, you know for me, I was born and raised a Catholic and I to have felt the way you do. Even doubting the blessed virgen Mary mother of God. I asked the Holy Spirit for guidance got my bible out and told myself to pick a random page to read for guidance. It was the book of Job. What I was going through did’nt come close to what Job went through. Even so I could not leave the Catholic Church, I’ll miss going to confesion and the Holy Euchrist. I will pray to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance.
jesus g

 

[Katoriku_Rant]

Sounds like you might have had an emotional conversion, at first, then. Emotional conversions are great, until the warm fuzzies blow away. Just letting you know, almost everyone has an emotional conversion at some point, or at many points. It doesn’t mean an emotional conversion doesn’t help, just that emotional conversion can be thought of more as a quick fix rather than a real repair.

Think of it this way- your emotional conversion is like coffee when you’re tired. It gives you a great pick me up, but if you don’t get some sleep soon, you’ll be back to the drained feeling you had before the coffee, and the feeling may instead be worse.

So, now that the warm fuzzies have blown away, now is a great time to question everything you ever thought you knew about the Catholic faith. Start reading every book you get your hands on, read the Saints, the Fathers, the historians, and read it all from every angle.

The reason why I have ended up being Catholic after all is due to having been able to question everything. There is a rational basis for every one of the Church’s dogmas and doctrines, and everything can be questioned without fear.

Ask yourself what is a man made Church, and then ask how the Church is man-made. Then, for every one of your answers, question those.

This will sound very counter-intuitive, but go into it thinking that everything you know must be mistaken. So if you think that the Church is man-made, see what evidence you can find for it NOT being man-made, and then weigh it against the evidence for it BEING man-made. Ask and weigh every question, even those questions that seem insulting or absurd.

Think, and reason your way through. And keep praying, constantly. This is when faith gets its butt kicked, but its a necessary butt-kicking.