What do you do when a stranger grabs your hand during Our Father prayer?

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Where I’m at, everybody is glad to hold hands whenever it’s required. Some priests even break into song during sermon and make us all hold hands. And it’s automatically assumed that the person who refuses contact definitely has an evil spirit in them. Generally so.

Different continent.
 
TimothyH said:
Freaking out over holding someone’s hand for about 25 seconds is just the most nonsensical thing. -Tim-
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I’m one of those people who really dislikes physical contact with people other than my spouse and my kids. It’s just the way I am. A quick handshake during the sign of the peace doesn’t bother me any more than it would in a business or social context. Hand-holding does. But if it were to happen, I’d just squirm under my skin and endure it for the time it lasts. I wouldn’t make a scene about it. I have to assume the other’s motivations are sincere and leave it at that.

But it’s pretty much a moot point. While I have seen folks use the orans position quite often, I don’t recall that I ever saw hand-holding at the Lord’s Prayer at a Catholic Mass in Canada, at least my part (French) of Canada. Yet French-Canadians tend to be pretty expressive emotionally, for example with the two-cheek kiss when greeting each other (which I absolutely despise). My wife once joked she thought I was autistic…

So my advice to someone whose hand is grabbed during the Our Father? Unless one is indeed autistic, or immune compromised, just let it go. The angst I mean, not the hand!
 
JLoid said:
Where I’m at, everybody is glad to hold hands whenever it’s required. Some priests even break into song during sermon and make us all hold hands. And it’s automatically assumed that the person who refuses contact definitely has an evil spirit in them. Generally so.

Different continent.
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Don’t assume everybody is glad to hold hands just because everybody does it (and it is never required). I will do it because it is the custom and I don’t wish to stand out or offend anybody, but I keep my uncomfortableness to myself and you would never know that I’m not really happy about it.
 
Bookcat said:
Did the early Christians hold hands? No. I doubt that was a custom …
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No, but the early Christians certainly exchanged a kiss of peace, an actual embrace, much more intimate than holding hands for a few seconds.

Note: I am not arguing for holding hand during the Our Father, just addressing the “freak out” factor that so many people here seem to be dealing with.
 
I keep my palms together, with my fingers straight up towards God, and my right thumb over my left to represent the righteousness overcoming evil.

I do not pray in the Orans position ever.

If someone were to ever ask me why, I would explain that we Laity are supposed to do what the Deacon is doing, not the Priest.

Read the below link, very good.

ewtn.com/expert/answers/orans_posture.htm

I also agree with Archbishop Sample, that praying in the Orans Posture isn’t good, especially when the same people do not give a profound bow during the Creed, do not give a slight bow at the names of Jesus, the Trinity, and Blessed Mother; and do not tap their chests three times during the Confiteor.

If someone wants to make an argument that we should be praying in the Orans position, they should first start performing the positions and posters actually called for by the Rubrics first.

Listen to Archbishop Sample discuss the Orans Postion here on Catholic Answers Live

catholic.com/radio/shows/getting-the-liturgy-right-9475

between minutes 42:20 to 48:00
 
babochka said:
No, but the early Christians certainly exchanged a kiss of peace, an actual embrace, much more intimate than holding hands for a few seconds.

Note: I am not arguing for holding hand during the Our Father, just addressing the “freak out” factor that so many people here seem to be dealing with.
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The first was part of the Liturgy (and can still be - such though is not a romantic kiss but a liturgical kiss - and not just with relatives).

The later is not.
 
Bookcat said:
The first was part of the Liturgy (and can still be - such though is not a romantic kiss but a liturgical kiss - and not just with relatives).

The later is not.
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I often see priests give each other the “liturgical kiss” during the Mass… you will notice their lips never touch each other. 😉
 
Bookcat said:
The first was part of the Liturgy (and can still be - such though is not a romantic kiss but a liturgical kiss - and not just with relatives).

The later is not.
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Apparently you did not see my note:
Note: I am not arguing for holding hand during the Our Father, just addressing the “freak out” factor that so many people here seem to be dealing with.
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As far as it being a liturgical kiss, it is still a fairly intimate embrace. Certainly, it is not romantic in any way, but there is significant close physical contact made with the upper body of another person in a manner which would be found by many on this thread to be highly uncomfortable. We still practice it occasionally in the Byzantine Rite, notably during Forgiveness Vespers, which begins Great Lent. We don’t simply exchange the kiss of peace with those standing closest to us, we exchange it individually with everyone present, beginning with the priest. I have considerable experience with it, including exchanging it with some whom I would rather not embrace, but chose to do so in the spirit of forgiveness and reconciliation.

As I mentioned, I’m not addressing the appropriateness of holding hands during the Mass. This also doesn’t seem to be the issue of most of those who have participated in this thread. This thread seems to be going more in the “strangers have cooties” direction.

I am opposed (but not strongly enough to make an issue of it during Mass) to the concept of holding hands during the Our Father. If I’m going to be attending Mass and I have a choice between a “hand-holding” parish and a “non hand-holding” parish, I will chose the parish that doesn’t hold hands.
 
ProVobis said:
That may be but it wouldn’t affect you at all if the stranger tries to grab your daughter’s or spouse’s hand without his/her consent?
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Is my wife or daughter standing next to them and extending their hands at the moment when everyone in the congregation is holding hands?

Because THAT IS the signal of consent.

On the other hand, if–during the Sign of Peace moment–a stranger embraced my wife for several prolonged moments and added a kiss and some pelvic thrusts, I might say, “Hey man, you’re out of line.” I would also make a mental note to avoid the same seating arrangement in the future.

But holding hands during a moment of community prayer? It seems childish and xenophobic to whine about such a little thing. If there is some kind of health issue–you don’t want to get sick, and you have a weak immune system, for example–or even if you just think strangers are icky, then simply don’t reach out and then get shocked when someone responds like an empathetic human being.
 
When someone grabs my hand during Mass, I push them away, [edited], then continue with my prayers, “My Father who art in heaven…”

Okay, seriously, I don’t like holding hands. I don’t even like shaking hands. During the Our Father, I have my hands together in front of me and I try not to make eye contact with anyone looking to hold my hand. BUT, if it happens, so be it. This is probably at the very bottom of the list of things that bother me during Mass.
 
dluna said:
… How do we tell people like that firmly yet politely that we don’t have to hold hands at mass?
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I agree with others who suggested folding your hands. If that doesn’t work, you’ll have to try other tactics or just bear with it.

I am somewhat amused that when this topic comes up, it is sometimes suggested that not only should everyone be willing to hold hands while praying the Our Father, everyone should enjoy it and if you don’t, you might lack charity. If you ever voice opposition to it, you probably lack charity and are wasting time.

Dan
 
***"I used to complain because I had no shoes, until I saw a man with no feet…I used to complain about having no glasses, until I saw a man with no eyes…

I used to complain about people taking my hand, until I saw a man with no arms"…***
 
I read how Jimmy Fallon grew up as a very orthodox Catholic. He was an Altar Boy for years and used to go to a monastery for Mass with his Grandfather.

He even considered becoming a Priest.

He fell away during college.

After college, he went to Mass and everyone was holding hands and singing modern music. It pushed him away. He said there was no incense, chant and solemnity.

And today, he’s still not a practicing Catholic.

I think the Charismatic Movement attracts certain people, but pushes others away. If a Parish wants to have a Charismatic Mass, have 1 mass dedicated for the Charismatics and another that is more orthodox. Why push the Charismatic Renewal on everyone?

Every parish should have at least ONE Mass that is performed just like ETWN does their Daily Mass.
 
:banghead:

This subject came up at our Parish and we were informed by the Associate Priest that the only person that should be raising his hands is the priest. I do realize there are people that think we are heathens if we don’t hold hands, but if a person does not wish to hold hands with someone other than a family member they shouldn’t be made to feel like they are from another planet by not doing so. I raise my hands, my husband folds his in prayer; palms up, fingers straight up, right thumb over left… I do not care to hold someone else’s hand since I have a weak immunity system. Really why does it matter? The bigger issue should be how some people dress in the house of the Lord (short skirts, bare waists, ripped jeans) etc etc etc.
 
phil19034 said:
I read how Jimmy Fallon grew up as a very orthodox Catholic. He was an Altar Boy for years and used to go to a monastery for Mass with his Grandfather.

He even considered becoming a Priest.

He fell away during college.

After college, he went to Mass and everyone was holding hands and singing modern music. It pushed him away. He said there was no incense, chant and solemnity.

And today, he’s still not a practicing Catholic.

I think the Charismatic Movement attracts certain people, but pushes others away. If a Parish wants to have a Charismatic Mass, have 1 mass dedicated for the Charismatics and another that is more orthodox. Why push the Charismatic Renewal on everyone?

Every parish should have at least ONE Mass that is performed just like ETWN does their Daily Mass.
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Interesting, do you happen to remember where you read that about Jimmy Fallon?

As to the OP’s question, I would hold their hand. I don’t initiate hand-holding, but I’m not going to rebuff it.
 
ProVobis said:
That may be but it wouldn’t affect you at all if the stranger tries to grab your daughter’s or spouse’s hand without his/her consent?
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At the shopping mall maybe, but not at Mass during the Our Father. No.

-Tim-
 
I just wish this whole hand-holding thing would stop (and ditto with the ‘shaking hands’ apparently being viewed as THE thing to do for the Sign of Peace.

I’m almost 58 (yay this Sunday. For some reason CAF has me listed as 20 years older but I’m not. Actually I happen to look quite YOUNG for my age. of nearly 58. :D)

Anyway, I don’t LOOK as though I have arthritis. Plenty of people don’t look as though THEY have arthritis, or Raynaud’s. Or have problems with anxiety. Or whatever.

And some people are traveling to places where people don’t know them. Or they’re shy and don’t know many people. Or they’ve recently moved. Or they are involved in child care or elder care and don’t get to Mass ‘regularly’.

What do we have to do? Get dress shirts made especially for Mass which say, “I cannot hold your hand for the following reason (please pick from the list or insert custom reason)” and make sure everybody around us KNOWS that we are not personally hating THEM because we are not holding their hands?

You know, sometimes it’s not just a ‘little thing’. It’s not simply a matter of personal preference, it can be physically or emotionally painful. Why is it always WE who are expected to give in to the majority? Why is hand holding made into this incredible act we MUST do, as though IT is more important than receiving JESUS? I mean, seriously. Look at how people who do not wish to hold hands are being made to feel as though they are responsible for all the world’s ills, but you notice, nobody is going around saying, “Hey, you hand holders. Somebody is not holding your hand. Get over your hurt feelings and put yourself in their place. They probably have a good reason, so be a little more Christ like yourself and love them.”

If you only love the people who hold hands with you, what good is that? The pagans do that as well. . . (sorry, couldn’t resist). . .
😦 Sigh
 
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