What do you do when you have no one to share your faith with?

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mikemike

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I am currently in my second year at college and have been having a LOT of difficulty the past few months dealing with being - essentially - alone in my faith.

The church near campus is…non-traditional to say the least, and I disagree with many of the priest’s sermons. While I wouldn’t say that his teaches blatantly go against the Church’s, I do feel that what he says is inappropriate many times. I don’t have a car and have no other way of going to a more traditional church.

Obviously, being in college, the majority of my friends drink, have casual sex, and are atheist (in practice if not in name). I am friendly with a handful of people who attend mass weekly, but I never do anything during everyday life with them. There really is not much clean fun to be had at college. I am also an ecology and evolutionary biology student…so you can take a guess about the nature of the people who I generally am i contact with. Being religious generally elicits a response along the lines of “huh…how quaint.” Sometimes, however, it’s more like a diatribe against the the idea of a god.

I already pray, read the Bible, and have tried to meet new friends, but I just really feel like I am alone. Has anyone else here felt this way from time to time? What have you done to reconcile these feelings?

God Bless.

EDIT: I guess the main reason I’m asking this is because I just feel such a lack of motivation due to my surroundings. I feel like I’m just giving in and working for a world that I don’t believe in.
 
Hi Mike –

Well, I had a similar problem, being a Catholic at an evangelical Protestant college. But this was back in the '70’s, and you have something I didn’t have - The Internet!! 🙂 👍

And no, it’s not the same as real flesh & blood people to hang out with - but it’s certainly better than nothing. And who knows, maybe staying involved with Catholic Answers forums and other online Catholic groups will help you locate some like-minded people in your area.

God bless you – and don’t despair! I’d be willing to bet there are a few other students there like you that you just haven’t met yet. 🙂
 
Stay focused on your faith and begin to pray the rosary daily- work up to saying all 4 daily.

God hears you and will reward you.
 
Jimdandy said:
Stay focused on your faith and begin to pray the rosary daily- work up to saying all 4 daily.

God hears you and will reward you.
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Great idea, also pray that God will show you someone to share your faith with. If 20 decades a day doesn’t do it nothing will.😃
 
Perhaps you don’t even realize that you are “sharing” your faith with others in your example. Like St. Francis said…preach the gospel, sometimes use words. 🙂

Now you are suggesting however, that there is no one with whom to fellowship with a faith like yours. So I will suggest 2 things.
  1. Consider that perhaps God is calling you to be the light for the faith among those around you.
  2. Whenever you have a question like this, turn it around and ask it to God…nothing fancy…no-nonsense straight question: “God, please tell me what to do because I have no one with whom to share my faith.”
 
mikemike said:
Obviously, being in college, the majority of my friends drink, have casual sex, and are atheist (in practice if not in name). I am friendly with a handful of people who attend mass weekly, but I never do anything during everyday life with them. There really is not much clean fun to be had at college. I am also an ecology and evolutionary biology student…so you can take a guess about the nature of the people who I generally am i contact with. Being religious generally elicits a response along the lines of “huh…how quaint.” Sometimes, however, it’s more like a diatribe against the the idea of a god.

I already pray, read the Bible, and have tried to meet new friends, but I just really feel like I am alone. Has anyone else here felt this way from time to time? What have you done to reconcile these feelings?

EDIT: I guess the main reason I’m asking this is because I just feel such a lack of motivation due to my surroundings. I feel like I’m just giving in and working for a world that I don’t believe in.
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I’m not really clear on who you really consider “friends” (“The majority of my friends drink,etc.” “I am friendly with…”)

But it does seem to me you are expecting a great deal of friends; more, I think, than you really can.

I grew up in a place where I truly shared all beliefs, background and experiences with no one at all. Certainly not religion. I did go to a Catholic college, and did share the same faith with most. But our life experiences and “cultures” were even more different.

From early on, I concluded that it was up to me to adapt to others while maintaining control over what I, myself, was and became. While he’s a terrible source to use, I did admire what Mao TseTung (Zedong in modern writing) said about a true revolutionary. Such a man, he said, moves through the population like a fish does through water. Not quite part of it, but thoroughly at home in it.

In college, I was deliberately a member of three “groups”, none of which had anything to do with the others. One was the “subject wonks” who were utterly immersed in my major subject, to the virtual exclusion of everything else. One was the “intellectuals”; the “think tank” types, a good number of whom were skeptics. One was the “social set” that exists on every campus. I can truly say I was comfortable with all of them and learned much from them. I genuinely enjoyed their company.

You seem like a person who knows what he is. That being the case, you need to realize that the important thing is to share what you are with others and learn from them, rather than expect them to be a reflection of yourself. Such a man is always alone in a way, but, in a deeper sense, is never really alone.
 
mikemike said:
I am currently in my second year at college and have been having a LOT of difficulty the past few months dealing with being - essentially - alone in my faith.

The church near campus is…non-traditional to say the least, and I disagree with many of the priest’s sermons. While I wouldn’t say that his teaches blatantly go against the Church’s, I do feel that what he says is inappropriate many times. I don’t have a car and have no other way of going to a more traditional church.

Obviously, being in college, the majority of my friends drink, have casual sex, and are atheist (in practice if not in name). I am friendly with a handful of people who attend mass weekly, but I never do anything during everyday life with them. There really is not much clean fun to be had at college. I am also an ecology and evolutionary biology student…so you can take a guess about the nature of the people who I generally am i contact with. Being religious generally elicits a response along the lines of “huh…how quaint.” Sometimes, however, it’s more like a diatribe against the the idea of a god.

I already pray, read the Bible, and have tried to meet new friends, but I just really feel like I am alone. Has anyone else here felt this way from time to time? What have you done to reconcile these feelings?

God Bless.

EDIT: I guess the main reason I’m asking this is because I just feel such a lack of motivation due to my surroundings. I feel like I’m just giving in and working for a world that I don’t believe in.
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Mike:

I understand your dilemma - sounds like a definite subject for prayer and study and it can get pretty lonely, esp. to someone as young as you.

If you read some of my earlier posts, you’ll find out that I was brought back to the Lord by an Ultra-Orthodox Jewish Rabbi who belonged to a Middle-East Forum I was participating in until nearly 2 years ago (He left 4-1/2 years ago). That was after I had left the Church in the early-Mid 1980’s and had been gone for 20+ years.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=1019785&postcount=49
forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=2840516&postcount=23
forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=367812&postcount=16
forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=1389482&postcount=18
forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=1376118&postcount=23
forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=1449904&postcount=49

Please try to see if there’s any way to get to know the Catholics at your college. There must be some who are faithful, even if they aren’t the type of people who would be your first choice for friends. Most Colleges will have some sort of a Newman Center, even the secular ones. And, The Newman Center will sponser Bible Studies, Prayer Groups, Retreats, Masses, Marian Groups, etc. Please look it up and get involved.

Please try to find out if your parish has a faithful Deacon or a Knight of Columbus Chapter (they’re usually pretty conservative as far as the Teaching of the Church goes). Even an unfaithful parish will have some faithful parishioners and a K of C Chapter.

Talk to your priest and tell him when his sermons do nothing for you, and esp. if you feel they don’t reflect Church Teaching or they don’t very much about the Gospel and Lessons of the Day. Also say something if something important is left out of the Mass or changed (Creed, Psalm, Lesson, Canon of the Mass, etc). Be polite and note when you talk, what you talk about and what is said.

Only if one or more parishioners join you would I “go up the chain of command to his Bishop”. If, after Pentacost months, no one has joined you, I would go to masstimes.org/txt/ and check and see if there are other Catholic parishes near where you go to school - Try to contact other Catholics or religious in your area and see if you can visit them over the weekend and attend their parishes or go on retreats with them.

Please use this forum as a sounding board, and try to talk to and get to know the Catholics here. Try to read at least 1-2 hours/day & post at least 2-3 posts/day and participate in the Prayer Requests and Discuss the Faith (Apologetics, Scripture Study, etc.) with those posts.

Try to pray a Rosary (25 minutes) and continue to read the Bible (30 Minutes/day) - Read the section on the Forums about Lectio Divina. These last two will be your daily maintenance, so you’ll know that you’re not alone, But these are only to support you while you work your way through the first 4 paragraphs.

Catholics aren’t saved as individuals. We’re saved as part of a Holy People, a Holy Nation, The Body of Christ. So those first 4 are vital.

Under no circumstances would I give up my faith. I’ve done that, and that’s not something I want you to even think of considering.

Your Brother in Christ, Michael
 
I know exactly what you are talking about. I often remind myself of words given by Servant of God, John Paul II when he said ***“Be in the world, and for the world but not of the world.”

***What helped me greatly was to realise that God knows exactly how we feel and that he closest to us at these times.
 
Its a very difficult situation to be in, surrounded by our godless culture. People need people, though, and sometimes you have to make the uncomfortable effort to find those who you can share and do with. Getting started is the hardest part. “Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof.”

Is there a Catholic group on campus? Thats the start. If there’s not, there’s second best, a Campus Crusade fellowship group. You have us at the forum to go to if they try to tell you not to be Catholic! But it may not be a problem. I was aquainted with that group in college, and two of the three I knew in it were Catholic, and went to Mass each Sunday!

As far as the Mass at college, you just might have to offer up the trial of that each week, and be glad at least its licit. The local college Mass here can be quite a jolt out of Catholic tradition too.

I remember as a new Christian (I gave my life to Christ in college) feeling at times alone, and always, whenever I complained, God would bring me someone.

Once, in the summer, I was working in the records room of a hospital. The women I worked with were worldly and I could not relate - I was so alone! I wanted Christian fellowship. I thought: “God has deserted this place! He’s nowhere here!” Then immediately after, a friendly girl from an upstairs office came down with records, and invited me to lunch. She thought I might be a Christian and she wanted to talk about God! After that, I decided, I can never say, “God has deserted this place.” He - in His Christians, is always there, somewhere.

So I feel sure He has fellowship there for you, too. We Christians need each other. Its too hard to be all alone. And really, you are lonelier in a crowd than anywhere else - till you have a friend.

http://www.artgalleryoftherockies.com/images/product/large/4387.jpg
 
mikemike said:
… Being religious generally elicits a response along the lines of “huh…how quaint.” Sometimes, however, it’s more like a diatribe against the the idea of a god.

I already pray, read the Bible, and have tried to meet new friends, but I just really feel like I am alone. Has anyone else here felt this way from time to time? What have you done to reconcile these feelings?

God Bless.

EDIT: I guess the main reason I’m asking this is because I just feel such a lack of motivation due to my surroundings. I feel like I’m just giving in and working for a world that I don’t believe in.
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You have received some good advice here. I hope that this advice might help also. Look upon this situation as an opportunity to learn about yourself. Write down your experiences of loneliness.

There will be times in your life that you will have a chance to understand the suffering of someone else if you have learned to understand that emotion in yourself.

In time you will find out that you are not alone. When you have found peace with the present loneliness you will be able to reach out to others in love.

Above all remain true to yourself and to God. You will never regret that.
 
This is how I feel too. You can pray that good Catholic friends would come into your life.
 
mikemike said:
I am currently in my second year at college and have been having a LOT of difficulty the past few months dealing with being - essentially - alone in my faith.

The church near campus is…non-traditional to say the least, and I disagree with many of the priest’s sermons. While I wouldn’t say that his teaches blatantly go against the Church’s, I do feel that what he says is inappropriate many times. I don’t have a car and have no other way of going to a more traditional church.

Obviously, being in college, the majority of my friends drink, have casual sex, and are atheist (in practice if not in name). I am friendly with a handful of people who attend mass weekly, but I never do anything during everyday life with them. There really is not much clean fun to be had at college. I am also an ecology and evolutionary biology student…so you can take a guess about the nature of the people who I generally am i contact with. Being religious generally elicits a response along the lines of “huh…how quaint.” Sometimes, however, it’s more like a diatribe against the the idea of a god.

I already pray, read the Bible, and have tried to meet new friends, but I just really feel like I am alone. Has anyone else here felt this way from time to time? What have you done to reconcile these feelings?

God Bless.

EDIT: I guess the main reason I’m asking this is because I just feel such a lack of motivation due to my surroundings. I feel like I’m just giving in and working for a world that I don’t believe in.
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Hello my friend,

You are not alone. Do the basic things well, just as you are doing. Regular confession, communion, scripture reading and daily rosary.

Don’t hide your catholicism to compromise with other christians. Use the sign of the cross whenever starting or ending a prayer - in public or private.

Consider contemplation…find a place of serenity (doesn’t have to be in church) and don’t be too anxious to change places. Stick with one place. Find a word (this word is secret, between you and God) this will be the word that gives “formal permission” for God to act upon you, it will be your willingness to aquiesce to His will. This serene place may also be the place where you pray your daily rosary.

The years you spend at your current location may very well be a preparation for a future mission. Remain docile to the movement of the Holy Spirit in your life, remain in the teaching of the catholic church and remain alert to His calling.

Ecce ancilla Domine, fiat mihi secundum verbum tuum.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum.
 
mikemike,

maybe you should look into catholicsingles.com?

Its generally a dating website, but if you post your intentions, perhaps you’ll find some one with the same interest, who lives near you.

Jim
 
JimR-OCDS said:
mikemike,

maybe you should look into catholicsingles.com?

Its generally a dating website, but if you post your intentions, perhaps you’ll find some one with the same interest, who lives near you.

Jim
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Maybe along those same lines Jim, a Christain group on campus? Most colleges have a Christain group from what I remember anyway. 🙂 I know they often Protestant groups but it might be worth a try.

I’ve seen this type of post before from college students. It can be a very stressful and lonely time for them.

Mike, you also have your Catholic cyber family in here 🙂 Come by and chat whenever you can. We are here for you. I know there have been others like yourself, so you are not alone.
 
mikemike said:
I I am friendly with a handful of people who attend mass weekly, but I never do anything during everyday life with them. There really is not much clean fun to be had at college. I am also an ecology and evolutionary biology student…so you can take a guess about the nature of the people who I generally am i contact with. Being religious generally elicits a response along the lines of “huh…how quaint.” Sometimes, however, it’s more like a diatribe against the the idea of a god.
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This brings back some rather unpleasant memories for me. I am 50 so travel back in time with me for a moment.

I went to two colleges. A state university and a Catholic university. At the time I was in the convent and wearing the habit. I took biology, ecology, and anthropology. In anthropology the professor spent most of the time explaining how the universe evolved by chance. He had a lot of big words and “facts.” So each class my little brain was filled with this stuff and fear filled my heart. What if he was right? Then I would tell myself “I do believe in God. I do believe in God.” I felt like the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of OZ (I do believe in spooks…)

It was tough. I was lonely as well. When I did speak out for my faith, I usually ended up feeling foolish–even when I was right! The academic world is not really interested in truth–just their version of it. The hardest part was going to the Catholic university and being taught that “Jesus did not really rise from the dead. This was just the apostles way of decribing a life altering experience–one that we will probably never know for sure.” Whoa! I wish I could talk to that professor now.

I thank God for Catholic Answers and forums like this one. I can express my faith and learn the truth.

Now for the loneliness. You have met some people at daily Mass. Ask one of them to go for coffee with you. I’m sure they need to talk about the faith as well. Keep the faith. Pray for your instructors and fellow students. Visit this blog often.
 
I really don’t know any one in my area who has quite the same traditional view of their Catholic faith that I do. Most people that I know who are Catholics are more the cafeteria variety. I just try not to be judgmental and share my views in a non-offensive matter. Honestly though, I will talk about my faith with anyone. A couple of weeks ago I had an agnostic and very liberal poli sci major in my office and actually had him contemplating the value of sacrifice and self-denial during Lent. You could see the wheels turning in his head. Kind of cool.

I think it helps to kind of approach things from the starting point of trying to understand where they are at.
 
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