What do you do when your priest is permanently angry with you?

[TheAltarGirl]

I’m 17, a girl, and have been attending my Catholic church for a month. I have known the Catholic priest since last October now. We have had a lot of disagreements and arguments. If I wish to speak to him, he doesn’t want to and refuses to talk to me, no matter what it’s about. He has shouted at me, raised his voice at me, pointed his finger at me, and said things about me. Once he even threatened to call the police just because I wanted five minutes to talk to him about an incident in my old parish that he doesn’t want to get involved with. (Yes, really.)

On Sunday he shouted at me, literally said “You are a very horrible person,” told me I’m not a Catholic, and that he’s not my priest, and never will be. He told me I’d made him very angry. I said I was sorry – even though I don’t know what I did wrong – but he then said “It’s too late for sorry now.” What the…?! Doesn’t that mean I’m not forgiven? It could be that he doesn’t want to speak to me because I’m a girl. (He’s apparently had a long history being an army and prison chaplain, and so has only been around men.)

I know I sound a bit dramatic, but this is genuinely what he’s like. And I don’t see him getting angry with anyone else either. I get the feeling he does not really want me to be in his church. I do want to stay, and I really want to be confirmed, but I’m now quite scared to go back. I know I shouldn’t skip Mass on Sunday, but I think that’s what I’m going to do since I’m afraid I’ll be told off again in front of everyone – for someone my age, it’s embarrassing.

I don’t know what to do next. I can’t contact the diocese as it will only make him a lot angrier and I don’t know anyone anyway, so I doubt people will be on my side. And there is no other Catholic church for miles because I live in the countryside. Should I say sorry to him again?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

If you are a 17-year-old girl, then it seems to me that either your parents or guardians should be given the task of advocating for you at this point. If all that you’ve reported is an accurate representation of events, then the actions you say this priest has engaged in toward you are completely out of line – especially because you are still a minor. I recommend that you ask your parents or guardians to help you contact your local diocese immediately. When you do so, ask to speak to the head of whichever department handles child protection. Given recent scandals in the Church, the mistreatment of a child should be taken seriously and you should be given ample opportunity to present your concerns about this priest’s treatment of you.