What do you do when your spouse does not embrace the EF?

[ProVobis]

First, thanks for all the help everyone! Today was the final week of our original plan of attending four EF’s in a row to give it a fair try (I got the idea from Dr. Taylor Marshall’s blog). I offered, as many here thought best, to can the experiment a week early, but the wife wanted to see the 4 wks through and (Deo gratias) she made it through the whole Mass (which went 2 hrs today)! Our baby slept the whole time, the five year old was good throughout and I was able to wrangle the 2.5 yr old (I had to pull him toward the end) so the wife was actually able to stay for the duration. She still prefers the OF but has come to better appreciate the EF over the course of the last month. She also really has taken to the priest at the EF parish, especially his sermons. We’ve decided to attend both the OF and the EF in the future, depending on how often the wife feels up to the EF. We’ll also work in the low mass once in-a-while as the high mass is really a bigger challenge, taking so much longer and all. Some of you have mentioned the kids. The five year old has come to greatly appreciate the EF (even pretending to say Mass with bits of Latin), while I have a little more work to do with the 2.5 yr old who, this morning, said “A-Tin Mass, Ucky.” Ah well. Thanks again for all the sage advice and taking the time to help! May God bless you all!

Whatever works.

 

[codefro]

First, thanks for all the help everyone! Today was the final week of our original plan of attending four EF’s in a row to give it a fair try (I got the idea from Dr. Taylor Marshall’s blog). I offered, as many here thought best, to can the experiment a week early, but the wife wanted to see the 4 wks through and (Deo gratias) she made it through the whole Mass (which went 2 hrs today)! Our baby slept the whole time, the five year old was good throughout and I was able to wrangle the 2.5 yr old (I had to pull him toward the end) so the wife was actually able to stay for the duration. She still prefers the OF but has come to better appreciate the EF over the course of the last month. She also really has taken to the priest at the EF parish, especially his sermons. We’ve decided to attend both the OF and the EF in the future, depending on how often the wife feels up to the EF. We’ll also work in the low mass once in-a-while as the high mass is really a bigger challenge, taking so much longer and all. Some of you have mentioned the kids. The five year old has come to greatly appreciate the EF (even pretending to say Mass with bits of Latin), while I have a little more work to do with the 2.5 yr old who, this morning, said “A-Tin Mass, Ucky.” Ah well. Thanks again for all the sage advice and taking the time to help! May God bless you all!

That sounds like a great comprimise. Right on!

 

[floresco]

Of course it is an option for them to consider. In my opinion a bad option, but an option nonetheless.

I don’t think it would be the way to help the OP’s wife to continue her faith journey and help her want to join the Church.

I also don’t think it is much of a compromise if every time she goes to Mass, she has to wrestle the baby.

But heck, maybe that is better for the wife than waiting in the car.

When I was at that stage of life, going out with just the baby, rather than all three children, felt pretty easy by comparison. Life with a nursing baby means that one is used to taking a baby all over the place. There is no reason to assume this would be onerous for her.

At any rate, they need to weigh all the factors and figure out what works for them. They should not rule out options just because they involve going to different Mass from each other.

 

[floresco]

I disagree with this in the strongest way. Splitting up the family is the biggest reason not to do it.

That’s what family is all about - doing things together, and there is nothing more important for a family than recieving the sacraments, praying together and worshipping together. These are the most important things a husband and wife will ever do for their own relationship and sanctity of the family.

And the children recieve graces just from being at Mass. Why in the world would one not bring an othewise normal child to Mass, even if it is to just sit in the cry room or stand in the narthex, and deny them the graces of being in the presence of Jesus Christ in the context of the Mass, is beyond me.

My personal experience is that the best behaved children are the one’s who’s parents seat them right in the front row every week from the earliest age. Priests love to look out and see the kids in the front row too.

You are certainly free to hold this opinion and act on it in your own family. There is no obligation from the Church to bring small children to Mass. You have no right to tell people do something when the Church does not.

 

[TimothyH]

You are certainly free to hold this opinion and act on it in your own family. There is no obligation from the Church to bring small children to Mass. You have no right to tell people do something when the Church does not.

Where in the world did I tell anyone to do anything?

I said that I disagree with you, and that I couldn’t understand why someone would do something. I even offered a suggestion on how best to handle small children by placing them habitually in the front row!

But where did I tell anyone to do anything?

-Tim-

 

[floresco]

Where in the world did I tell anyone to do anything?

I said that I disagree with you, and that I couldn’t understand why someone would do something. I even offered a suggestion on how best to handle small children by placing them habitually in the front row!

But where did I tell anyone to do anything?

I said that they can consider the option of splitting up the family and you said that you disagreed in the strongest way.

 

[TimothyH]

I said that they can consider the option of splitting up the family and you said that you disagreed in the strongest way.

Since when is voicing an opinion, even a strong one, telling someone what to do?

Just because someone voices a strong opinion doesn’t mean that they are trying to contol someone’s behavior.

-Tim-

 

[Tampa_Dave]

Hi Everyone,

I’ve recently taken the wife and kids down to a local EF Mass for the last 3 weeks as a way of exploring the liturgy more fully. I have become a big fan of the EF and would like to continue to go to this parish, however the wife is not such a big fan and would like to return to our old OF parish or find a new parish altogether. I’m not sure if I should push the EF or not. Any suggestions? On a side note, I’m a recent convert (confirmed last Easter) and the wife is not a Catholic (although she is well on her way). Thanks in advance.

I’ve mentioned this in CF before. I attend Latin Mass at a nearby conservative parish. My wife is a Charismatic Catholic. She attends the OF Mass (English) at another parish where they also celebrate a healing Mass, have regular prayer group meetings, etc. It works for us!

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I’ve mentioned this in CF before. I attend Latin Mass at a nearby conservative parish. My wife is a Charismatic Catholic. She attends the OF Mass (English) at another parish where they also celebrate a healing Mass, have regular prayer group meetings, etc. It works for us!

I know this works for some folks, but OP’s children are young and his wife is in the process of converting. It seems that it would be best, for her sake, to attend the parish she prefers for now and after she is through RCIA, confirmed, etc, they can work out a new plan.

Although in a later post he did say that they might continue to attend the EF, but less frequently.

 

[Aran_Houlihan]

I find that prays at the foot of the alter what is Traditional Latin Mass is a really beautiful pray and I find it sad that some those beautiful prays are been forgotten