What do you people think

[spirocatania]

My boss is not at work for the whole week so the second incharge steped up. their is this other lady who does get paid a little more then me and is suppose to be getting trained up as a manager however she works like me and has never told me what to do. today however she told me if i could do something and I said to her the one coming in soon can do it. I didn’t want to do it because i think too much and have trouble trying to work out if i should sell it or throw it away. i am dealing with food. Also I started something else and wanted to finish that off first.

After I said the other girl coming in soon can do it i started to think did i commit a grave sin here. she didn’t say nothing to me when i said this to her and she wasn’t angry or anything. I guess she saw it hasn’t been started and she wanted someone to do it.

Is me sort of saying no grave matter. I always do what i am told but i do not know how to deal with this since she gets paid a little more then me but never told me what to do before. during the day i could see and noticed that she also steped up and was sort of telling me and others things. Because she isen’t my main boss does this make it only a venial sin.

 

[rovimax]

I’m not sure what kind of sin it is, but I believe you should apologize.

 

[LilyM]

If you are legitimately too busy to do something (which seems to have been the case here) through no fault of your own, then there is nothing remotely sinful about saying ‘no’ to people at work. I have to do it sometimes - people simply forget how much others really have to do.

If the reason was, as it also seems to have been here, that another employee can do the task better, there’s also nothing wrong with saying ‘look, so-and-so will be here in five minutes, he/she is really good at this, maybe he/she can do it and I can do the other things you were going to get him/her to do’.

Of course the response may be ‘no, I still want you to do it’, in which case you can say ‘OK, but it means that the other things I have to do will take longer’.

Being employed or supervised by someone doesn’t mean you have to put up with unreasonable or impossible demands from them. You can negotiate and compromise (ie the examples in my second and third paragraphs). And you don’t have to apologise for doing so, or even for refusing to do a task, if you really can’t do it, or if there is a better way of doing things instead.

 

[GaryTaylor]

My boss is not at work for the whole week so the second incharge steped up. their is this other lady who does get paid a little more then me and is suppose to be getting trained up as a manager however she works like me and has never told me what to do. today however she told me if i could do something and I said to her the one coming in soon can do it. I didn’t want to do it because i think too much and have trouble trying to work out if i should sell it or throw it away. i am dealing with food. Also I started something else and wanted to finish that off first.

After I said the other girl coming in soon can do it i started to think did i commit a grave sin here. she didn’t say nothing to me when i said this to her and she wasn’t angry or anything. I guess she saw it hasn’t been started and she wanted someone to do it.

Is me sort of saying no grave matter. I always do what i am told but i do not know how to deal with this since she gets paid a little more then me but never told me what to do before. during the day i could see and noticed that she also steped up and was sort of telling me and others things. Because she isen’t my main boss does this make it only a venial sin.

You know, we carry way to much Guilt as humans as is. Myself, I refuse any extra. Be honest with your feelings in regards to others, and direct those feeling where they are suppose to go.

If you can make this a practice in your life, I assure you, you also will carry very little extra guilt!

Theres nothing wrong or right about your feelings. What makes them wrong or right is how we act off of them.

As far as specific instances in life? People respond differently, the pay scale has little to do with this, except “maybe” being the end result of the actions?

 

[DexUK]

In examining your motives for refusing the task, it appears that you declined it a: because you weren’t being asked by someone who is your boss, which is fair enough, since it could only be a request and not a requirement; and b: because you weren’t sure you could carry out the task correctly, which should be commended, since you were trying to avoid doing something which you were not capable of and therefore, by extension, avoiding causing problems for your employer. Furthermore, c: you were already occupied. I doubt you’re holy enough (yet! - although it’s clear that you’re trying to be reasonably holy) to be able to manage bi-location (i.e. being in two places at once).

For the life of me, I can’t see where you sinned. It seems to me that it is your own sense of going against your general generosity that is causing you the problem: perhaps you set yourself standards that are a little too high and you’re worried that you’re not living up to them. Well, if that’s the case, then they’re your standards and you can do with them what you like, provided you hurt nobody else.

I’m not even sure you need to apologise in any way other than if it happens again you should say something like “I’m sorry, I can’t [for whatever reason], could you get [person X] to do instead because they’re better at that sort of thing than I am.”

But rest assured, I don’t think you sinned, no matter what the seniority of the person asking you was, since your refusal was an honest and justifiable one.

 

[Big_Dummy]

My boss is not at work for the whole week so the second incharge steped up. their is this other lady who does get paid a little more then me and is suppose to be getting trained up as a manager however she works like me and has never told me what to do. today however she told me if i could do something and I said to her the one coming in soon can do it. I didn’t want to do it because i think too much and have trouble trying to work out if i should sell it or throw it away. i am dealing with food. Also I started something else and wanted to finish that off first.

After I said the other girl coming in soon can do it i started to think did i commit a grave sin here. she didn’t say nothing to me when i said this to her and she wasn’t angry or anything. I guess she saw it hasn’t been started and she wanted someone to do it.

Is me sort of saying no grave matter. I always do what i am told but i do not know how to deal with this since she gets paid a little more then me but never told me what to do before. during the day i could see and noticed that she also steped up and was sort of telling me and others things. Because she isen’t my main boss does this make it only a venial sin.

It was not really a sin, just human communication.

Next time, simply say here is what I am doing. “Candy” will be here soon. Which is most important for me to do? And, leave the decision to her.