What do you say to someone when novenas and prayers don't work?

[BeeBot]

I am a Catholic and my husband is a convert. He’s been a Catholic for about three years and I am afraid he is losing his newfound faith. He has been underemployed for two years and, since that time, we have said several novenas, the rosary, and prayed that he find better employment where he can use his God-given gifts and talents. Our prayers, as far as we know, have yet to be answered. I remain faithful that our Lord will come through for us as he always does, but my husband is done with novenas, the rosary, and eucharistic adoration. He does to go Mass but told me he’s not even sure why anymore.

He doesn’t feel the Lord is listening and that God wants my husband to be a “failure” (his word, not mine). I’ve tried to tell him that God isn’t a genie – that just because we want something doesn’t mean we’ll get it or that it’s the best thing for us. I’ve told him that God doesn’t want him to be a failure either. I can’t imagine that the Lord wouldn’t want him to have a “better” job – “better” not necessarily meaning financially, but “better” as in a job where his skills are valued and appreciated. I’ve told him to be thankful he is employed at all, but that has worn out its proverbial welcome. What do I tell him when novenas and prayers don’t work out as we want? How do I help restore his fledgling faith?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

A famous dictum attributed to St. Ignatius of Loyola is “Pray as if everything depended on God and work as if everything depended on you.”

Is it possible that your husband’s poor self-image (as evidenced by referring to himself as a “failure”) might be contributing to his inability to change his work situation for the better? Employers like to hire self-confident people able to sell them on why their company would profit from hiring the prospective employee. If your husband has allowed his understandable frustration and lack of confidence to show to prospective employers, it is possible that he might be inadvertently sabotaging his own efforts. Perhaps he might look into career coaching opportunities in your local area to work on his interview presentation. If he needs more help in overcoming his lack of confidence, perhaps he might look into counseling. The Pastoral Solutions Institute, a Catholic counseling apostolate, might be able to refer your husband to affordable counseling in your area. In the meantime, does your husband have other life skills he might develop into employment opportunities? If he is a good handyman, mechanic, gardener, computer tech, athletics coach, etc., he could parlay such a hobby into a living for his family.

The point here is to encourage your husband to reassess the talents God gave him and use them to improve his situation, trusting God that if he does his best to improve his own situation then his prayer will also bear fruit. If you need an analogy, one possibility might be a student praying to improve his grades. All the novenas, rosaries, and other devotions in the world will not help if he does not both get the tutoring he needs to improve and work with the tutor in a constructive way to improve his study habits and coursework.

Recommended reading:

Life Shouldn’t Look Like This by Gregory K. Popcak, Ph.D.