what do you say?

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What do you guys tell your dr. when he suggests putting you on the pill? My dr. told me that NFP is just an ineffective birth control. He said it is unethical to keep producing children. What should I say next time
 
Tell him it’s unethical for him to push his ethics on you, then find a new doc! 🙂
 
First of all, if you don’t have a good, open and trusting relationship with your physician, find a new physician. If your doctor truly believes you are refusing the best care for yourself, then he can refuse you as a patient as well.

What I would do is very simply say that you have a moral issue with birth control pills and that nothing he says is going to change that, so what other advice does he have for you?

A doctor is in charge of your health, not your soul. Only you are in charge of that.
 
Ask when a medical degree makes him an ethical expert?
What are his qualifications to preach to you about ethics?

How many children you have is between you, your husband and God.
 
I would advise you find a new doctor, one who is pro-life to the core.
 
Dearest Friend in Christ “Wise1”:

Forget about it. For you know that God is in control of your family. End of subject, period. Children are total blessings. I made a mistake of getting a tubal, and now YEARS later, I’m knowing God’s plan is always right, for much stress has resulted for us because of this. Doing what’s right-- It can save a marriage, truly–it can be the difference between death of a marriage, or life abundantly, as God wants for us all.!!! Listen to him and the Church!!! Before it’s too late!!!
 
My mom told me this, after she got married the doctor asked her if she wanted children, she told him not right away so he put her on the pill, yet, somehow by the grace of God I was concieved. My mom was still on the pill for two months before my mom “found out” about me. I once overheard my mom say that it would have been nice to wait to have children. Needless to say our relationship is quite strained, this always being in the air. But I guess God wanted me so here I am.

I can’t truly explain the emmotions this causes in me except for I wish my mom wouldn’t of done that. She has cancer now and I blame it on the pill.
 
My husband and I drive 45 min to a catholic ob/gyn office. Well worth it for doctors who have no conctraceptive literature in their office displays, have prolife pictures on the walls, talk about their large families and celebrate each and every conception and birth!

Point is, you need to switch. With an attitude like that, you cannot trust that your doctor can make the correct decisions for you and your unborn babies care.
 
If my doctor said this and my first doctor 11 years ago did after the birth of my first child, I said thanks, but no thanks and left it at that, I didn’t need to lecture him and he didn’t push the issue, he offered me a prescription for the pill and I turned it down, not a big deal really. 👍
 
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wise1:
What do you guys tell your dr. when he suggests putting you on the pill? My dr. told me that NFP is just an ineffective birth control. He said it is unethical to keep producing children. What should I say next time
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I understand the way health insurance works, it may not be a financial option for you to seek out a practicing Catholic doctor. If that’s the situation, I would politely tell the doctor that you are a practicing Catholic and that you would like him to respect your wishes and to not bring it up again and to keep any comments to himself (especially when speaking of unethical) I mean, “unethical” to whom? The doctor? Certainly not unethical to God.

NFP is NOT ineffective birth control (when done properly which is not the rhythm method some of us are old enough to remember). Perhaps this doctor is, well, even with degrees and all that education, not educated enough on NFP (as taught in the NFP classes).

JELane
 
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MamaAtHome:
Tell him it’s unethical for him to push his ethics on you, then find a new doc! 🙂
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Good answer. 👍

I might also tell him that he is an idiot, but that wouldn’t be charitable. 😉
 
I would find a new physician, one who would not even consider chemically sterilizing you! What an offense to your dignity!

Then I would make sure that I had the proper support for NFP, either through a pro-life physician, or the couple-to-couple league (or some other NFP organization.)
Let us know what you decide!
 
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wise1:
What do you guys tell your dr. when he suggests putting you on the pill? My dr. told me that NFP is just an ineffective birth control. He said it is unethical to keep producing children. What should I say next time
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Tell him there’s nothing unethical about children.

Tell him it was nice knowing him, but you’ll be looking for a more ethical doctor yourself–someone who respects your wishes–without a condescending attitude.
 
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iguana27:
I would find a new physician, one who would not even consider chemically sterilizing you! What an offense to your dignity!!
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I am certain the doctor was not attempting to offend her dignity. When the vast majority of married women of childbearing age use some form of birth control – even the majority of Catholics – the question of using the pill is a pretty routine one. That in and of itself doesn’t bother me, and in the absence of a pro-life OB/GYN, would be entirely expected.

His/her commentary on the ethical nature of that decision is what was condescending and inappropriate.
 
Personally, I believe that if a doctor is not thoroughly pro-life, they are violating their Hippocratic oaths to do no harm. This immediately tells me that they are unethical or badly undereducated. In either case, no one should be using them for medical care.

(I have looked for pro-life health plans that will only use pro-life medical professionals, but so far have not found any. The sad state of health care in the US).
 
I find it extremely puzzling that there are so many people who go to a doctor who has a deeply flawed view of the human person. Doctors do NOT just treat the body. They are called to treat the person. Only a doctor who understands that is worthwhile. Look at it this way, would you take spiritual advice from an atheist? No, because he has a deeply flawed view of reality. Why on earth would anyone go to such a physician? Imagine the impact if we ALL ran from any doctor who was so warped!

Dump your doctor! He doesn’t tell you the truth about birth control. How can you be sure he is telling you the truth about anything!
 
The reason I switched to this dr. is because someone told me that he was very open to nfp. My last Dr. would not even let me go until I agreed to use condoms at least. I guess he must have changed his mind about nfp. by the way my Dr. has a ton of kids. There are no nfp drs near to us.
 
The Couple to Couple League has brochures that are aimed at doctors just like this one. The brochure educates the doctor as to how NFP works. Medical schools do not usually cover NFP and how it works. We can’t really blame the doctors for their ignorance. Most people, including doctors, think that NFP is just the calendar rhythm method. They have not been properly educated. I think it is our role to teach them. If we just march out of the office, we accomplish nothing. Get one of the brochures. CCL’s website is www.ccli.org. You can order them off of that site.
 
When I was pregnant last time, my doctor asked me if I would be wanting my tubes tied during my c-section. I told him no. Then he asked me if I’ll be wanting to get on the pill. I told him no. He then said “Are you Catholic?” I said “Yes” Then he said “Me, too.”:ehh:
 
:hmmm: Fire him and tell him why.

If you can’t tell him you pay him for his medical advice and that you are not interested in his moralizing as it is obviously not in agreement with your moral sense.

-D
 
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