What do you struggle with?

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momstheword

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I’m not sure this belongs in this forum, but I post it here because I’m assuming most here share my vocation, and therefore my struggles.
When I go to Confession, it’s always the same things. Charity, charity, charity towards others. That covers a lot of ground, and I don’t mean the tithing kind of charity. I mean the attitude, the “I need to change my *inside *attitude, not just my outside behavior”.
I can be as nice as pie to anyone I meet, but my heart could be seething at worst, or annoyed at best, that I have to interact with so-and-so.
There is one poor old lady at my former parish, where I still visit once in a while. She has done nothing but good, and she has suffered much in her life (she lived in Poland during WWII). But, truth be told, I get sick of listening to her.
My point to this thread is, I AM THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM.
Who else here struggles inside with attitudes toward others? Do you always know how to assume the best out of a person, whether family, friend or stranger, or do you always think a person is purposely trying to annoy you? or trying to be an incosiderate jerk, or worse?
 
Hi Momstheword: I think discernment comes in handy here. Sounds like the elderly woman from Poland is just revisiting her horrendous times and needs someone to share her experiences. Maybe God is calling you to be that person, that listener. I know people can annoy us, but I don’t think most people do it purposely. However, if it truly feels they are, then I think they need to be avoided so as not to steal your peace. Hope this helps a bit.

Mom4truth:thumbsup:
 
I think eveyone struggles with thay to some degree. I’m a social worker. You have no idea how many times I am dealing with a client or that persons family and I’m inwardly rolling my eyes or seething at them. I, of course, maintain professional standards and don’t actually do it. Sometimes, it’s because they catch me on a bad day. Sometimes, it’s because they expect me to do the impossible. Sometimes, it’s because they expect me to reward the martyr complex they’ve developed even though I have implied, spoken outload, practically shouted from the rooftops that it;s not only unnecessary, but also unhelpful for all around.

I have to take a step back and say is it my issue that I’m projecting onto them, or is this their own issue I need to help them with?

I also have a hard time when I’m behind the wheel, being charitable. Seriously, when your in the left lane on the MassTurnpike… doing 65 with no traffic is unacceptable. If you’re going to do the bare minimum on the highway, get to the right lane and let me hit 80 like I want to.
 
momstheword said:
do you always think a person is purposely trying to annoy you? or trying to be an incosiderate jerk, or worse?
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My struggle is mainly with pride, not thinking the people are purposely inconsiderate, but rather, that they are stupid. Of course, this is no better. I am working on increasing my respect for others, and making some slow progress.

Anyway, I wanted to suggest that you read (or re-read) the autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux (the Little Flower), The Story of a Soul. Her discussion of her practice of charity with the other nuns was very helpful to me. I hope it is for you.

Betsy
 
Hey…I know exactly how you feel. Even some of my family and friends can annoy me to no end; and it always seems to happen just when I want to be alone or pray. I’m beginning to realize that people will never go away and we need to ask Jesus to help us overcome our pride/attitude towards others. Try to see it as a chance to grow instead of an annoyance…Good Luck!
 
I know exactly how you feel. I’ll smile, be polite. Sometimes I’ll even bend over backwards to help people I don’t like or be friendly to people I don’t like. I think the only One who really knows how I truly feel is Jesus. Because he’s the only One who knows what’s in my heart.

I’m really torn about my fake cheeriness sometimes. It’s definitely a front, but a false front. I’m trying to love my neighbor, but I just don’t feel it alot.
 
Oh you have no idea how much I understand that. Believe me, I listen to my grandmother talk about how much she hates her grandmother who has been dead for 80 years (no exaggeration either). I’m always thinking to myself “ok, maybe it’s time to LET IT GO.” Whenever other people do that, I usually just smile and be polite. I don’t think most people mean to be annoying, and certainly I’ve probably been that annoying person more than once.
 
Realizing that I have been that annoying person at times has helped me in my relationships with others. Also realizing that there is usually some hurt behind the annoying behavior has helped. I’ve heard the quote from some saint (paraphrasing): think of the person that you like the least in this world - that is how much you love God.
 
gradstud35 said:
I know exactly how you feel. I’ll smile, be polite. Sometimes I’ll even bend over backwards to help people I don’t like or be friendly to people I don’t like. I think the only One who really knows how I truly feel is Jesus. Because he’s the only One who knows what’s in my heart.

I’m really torn about my fake cheeriness sometimes. It’s definitely a front, but a false front. I’m trying to love my neighbor, but I just don’t feel it alot.
Click to expand...
That cheeriness is exactly what God calls us to. How we feel is either a help or a hindrance to how we act, but how we act is what matters. There is more merit in being kind to someone we find tiresome than there is in kindness to someone for whom we have a lot of affection.

When Jesus tells us to love our enemies, that means to wish the best for them and do good to them. If we felt affection for them, they would not be our enemies, would they?

Betsy
 
😃 🙂 :mad:
Hi, I’m so glad you posted and I read it.
I just bought a C.S.Lewis book, “The Divorce” or something like that, anyway, he mentioned in there, that in Heaven, we are not allowed to think about ourselves at all.

Interesting concept.

But then if we are all one…

People irk me to no tomorrow sometimes. I just tell myself they
must be having a bad day, they’re Momma didn’t raise them right,
its their day and not my day to do that obnoxious behavior.

Mostly because, I do NOT want to get twisted around the axle.
That does not feel good to me, and does me no good whatsoever.

I walk through Union Station to get on a train and ride home (and
come to work everyday) there are hordes of people there, all going in different directions. It took me a year and a half. When I realized if I would just look for Jesus in each and every one of those people, I discovered I could freely walk easily through the station, rather than manuevering in and around everyone, and their
suitcases on wheels.

I’ve listened to some little old ladies in my life. I finally realized I could ask them a question and I’d hear something different, and
sometimes interesting.

I’ll pray for you too, since I’m behind on my prayer warrior duties.
 
I am sorry you are struggling. I had this problem to some extent, and I have prayed for God to open my heart to receive Him, and I really have changed on how I look toward others now. I look at people differently in that I picture Jesus in them, and this really does work. Jesus is always in the poor, old, sick, downtrodden, and the most rejected of people, that is were you will find Him, and knowing that, I find I am deeply moved by these forgotten people, because He is there in them.

I struggle with praying enough, and asking God to help me with all decisions in my life. I guess I struggle with trust. I need to rely on His will and trust Him more.

I hope this helps some.

Blessings
 
baltobetsy said:
That cheeriness is exactly what God calls us to. How we feel is either a help or a hindrance to how we act, but how we act is what matters. There is more merit in being kind to someone we find tiresome than there is in kindness to someone for whom we have a lot of affection.

When Jesus tells us to love our enemies, that means to wish the best for them and do good to them. If we felt affection for them, they would not be our enemies, would they?

Betsy
Click to expand...
This was SO helpful to me tonight. Thank you, Betsy!
 
I struggle with the sense of failure and resentment of it. I made the mistake of saying “it will take an act of God for me to fail this” concerning something. I was called on it and nearly died. This is my biggest struggle. Why couldn’t He just talk to me? Maybe He did through a friend and I didn’t listen. Tim
 
momstheword said:
I’m not sure this belongs in this forum, but I post it here because I’m assuming most here share my vocation, and therefore my struggles.
When I go to Confession, it’s always the same things. Charity, charity, charity towards others. That covers a lot of ground, and I don’t mean the tithing kind of charity. I mean the attitude, the “I need to change my *inside *attitude, not just my outside behavior”.
I can be as nice as pie to anyone I meet, but my heart could be seething at worst, or annoyed at best, that I have to interact with so-and-so.
There is one poor old lady at my former parish, where I still visit once in a while. She has done nothing but good, and she has suffered much in her life (she lived in Poland during WWII). But, truth be told, I get sick of listening to her.
My point to this thread is, I AM THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM.
Who else here struggles inside with attitudes toward others? Do you always know how to assume the best out of a person, whether family, friend or stranger, or do you always think a person is purposely trying to annoy you? or trying to be an incosiderate jerk, or worse?
Click to expand...
i usually give the person the benefit of the doubt. i don’t get cranky with people as a rule unless they are arrogant and deliberately trying to goad me.other than that, they are given the benefit of the doubt until otherwise. i usually snap at people only if iam truly irritated and they don’t stop trying to irritate me.

i will either leave, or just ask them to stop. if they don’t stop, i will halt the conversation or walk away. i don’t like arguing but i will defend myself. i prefer to avoid people that annoy me.
 
In struggling we are united with Christ. So if a person will give up everything to be like Jesus, then he/she is truly united with Him
Didn’t Jesus ask us to pick up our daily cross and follow him?
However He did not say that it would be easy.

Always remember, God loves us so much when we try and change our sinfull ways

I admire a person that strives to be holy. 👍

In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, may peace be with you all.
 
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