What do you think of greeters?

[otjm]

I would be inclined to think this thread was hilarious, if I didn’t first think it was so sad.

It may be that we now have people officially set up to greet people as they enter church. But when I was a kid, well before Vatican 2, the ushers did just that. This isn’t some new agey liberal-think “spirit of Vatican 2” deal. Parishes did this more or less long before any of us were around. It was called being civil, if nothing else.

To those who think that the Mass is about “me and Jesus” and everyone else is a distraction to their spirituality, I would suggest that they read St. Paul (since it sould almost seem unlikely they had ever done so), and pay particular attention to when he speaks about us as the Body of Christ.

To those who seem to think that they need to be left alone, I would ask, do they think that if they were to walk into a synagogue in , say, about 25 AD and Christ was sitting there, that He would not greet them? Oh, that’s right - that would be Christ doing it so that would be different - how? Did Christ not say “What you have done for the least of these, you have done for me”? If you walked into your local parish on Sunday morning, and Christ happened to be standing there greeting you, would you be as upset as you seem to be with the greeters now? And if not, why would that be different? Oh, that’s right - it would be Christ doing that so that would be different - how? Are we not to be Christ for one another? Was it not said “See the Christians. See how they love one another.”?

I am not a greeter nor an usher in my parish, but I do work with Returning Catholics; and I have had more than one say that the reason they were drawn to my parish in particular was that they were trying to make their way back to the Faith, and found our parish so welcoming; and said further that other parishes were not like that. Interesting observations.

To those who seem to want so much to be left alone, I hope when the day comes that you need desperately to have someone there to simply greet you, that someone will be there. Or maybe you will just be left alone in your despearation…

 

[mpjw2]

Well, I’ve been reading some of these posts, and my church only has ushers so far, no one to greet at the door, but they are starting a greeters ministry within the next couple of months - we’re still getting names. When I walk to the church, there is no one to greet, so you just enter in. Then, you go into a little area and then there is another door leading into the sanctuary, and then you open it and you’re in the sanctuary. The ushers are usually hanging out like a little group and mostly are huddled together and don’t normally even say a word, not even a simple “hello.” This makes newcomers feel a little unwelcomed at first, but if you know the church, you get used to it. So, this is mainly why the church is getting greeters because the ushers don’t greet you. It would make me feel a little more welcome if someone would say “Good morning” or “Hello” when entering the Lord’s house. It makes you feel more welcome and makes the people seem nicer.

well said

 

[mpjw2]

I would be inclined to think this thread was hilarious, if I didn’t first think it was so sad.

It may be that we now have people officially set up to greet people as they enter church. But when I was a kid, well before Vatican 2, the ushers did just that. This isn’t some new agey liberal-think “spirit of Vatican 2” deal. Parishes did this more or less long before any of us were around. It was called being civil, if nothing else.

To those who think that the Mass is about “me and Jesus” and everyone else is a distraction to their spirituality, I would suggest that they read St. Paul (since it sould almost seem unlikely they had ever done so), and pay particular attention to when he speaks about us as the Body of Christ.

To those who seem to think that they need to be left alone, I would ask, do they think that if they were to walk into a synagogue in , say, about 25 AD and Christ was sitting there, that He would not greet them? Oh, that’s right - that would be Christ doing it so that would be different - how? Did Christ not say “What you have done for the least of these, you have done for me”? If you walked into your local parish on Sunday morning, and Christ happened to be standing there greeting you, would you be as upset as you seem to be with the greeters now? And if not, why would that be different? Oh, that’s right - it would be Christ doing that so that would be different - how? Are we not to be Christ for one another? Was it not said “See the Christians. See how they love one another.”?

I am not a greeter nor an usher in my parish, but I do work with Returning Catholics; and I have had more than one say that the reason they were drawn to my parish in particular was that they were trying to make their way back to the Faith, and found our parish so welcoming; and said further that other parishes were not like that. Interesting observations.

To those who seem to want so much to be left alone, I hope when the day comes that you need desperately to have someone there to simply greet you, that someone will be there. Or maybe you will just be left alone in your despearation…

right on otjm

I agree let others see the Jesus in us.

when you mentioned see the christians and their love you reminded me of one of my favorite songs to sing in church when I was catholic…
“They will know we are christians by our love”

does anyone still sing this song in church?

If you have not heard it, youtube got a some videos to the song which very well dictate what the song is about

God bless

mpjw

 

[revert_jen]

If you walked into your local parish on Sunday morning, and Christ happened to be standing there greeting you, would you be as upset as you seem to be with the greeters now? And if not, why would that be different? Oh, that’s right - it would be Christ doing that so that would be different - how?

Well, primarily it would be different because Christ knows and loves me as a unique individual, which no non-divine being who is a stranger could do.

…I do work with Returning Catholics; and I have had more than one say that the reason they were drawn to my parish in particular was that they were trying to make their way back to the Faith, and found our parish so welcoming…

I’m really happy that your parish is getting a lot of returning Catholics. It is a great blessing. But obviously any potential returning Catholic that wasn’t drawn to the atmosphere of your parish wouldn’t be there talking to you, they would have gone somewhere else.

Which, in conjunction with the posts on this thread, seems to show that it is good for some parishes to have greeters and others not to have them.

To those who seem to want so much to be left alone, I hope when the day comes that you need desperately to have someone there to simply greet you, that someone will be there. Or maybe you will just be left alone in your despearation…

Just because one is shy around strangers doesn’t mean one has no friends.

It seems really mean to predict that anyone who doesn’t want to be greeted by an official greeter will someday be faced with the alternative of:

• either desperately needing something they don’t care for (the greeting of a stranger)
• or experiencing lonely desperation.

I’m sure you didn’t mean it to sound that way, but you said “when the day comes…” not “if the day comes…”

I suppose that people might expect the anti-greeters (of which I am one) to be a bit uncharitable (although I certainly try not to be). But it seems weird to me for people who are arguing in favor of a “friendliness” ministry to be unkind about it. I’m not referring primarily to the quoted post by any means.

And I’d just like to point out once again that friendliness is not the same as love. Carthusian monks and flight attendants each exhibit one without the other as a necessary part of their work. (And no, I’m not saying anything against flight attendants in personal life, it’s just that it’s impossible for 99.999% of people to be sincerely loving toward that many strangers in a year, and nobody expects it.)

–Jen

 

[Cat]

Well, primarily it would be different because Christ knows and loves me as a unique individual, which no non-divine being who is a stranger could do.

I’m really happy that your parish is getting a lot of returning Catholics. It is a great blessing. But obviously any potential returning Catholic that wasn’t drawn to the atmosphere of your parish wouldn’t be there talking to you, they would have gone somewhere else.

Which, in conjunction with the posts on this thread, seems to show that it is good for some parishes to have greeters and others not to have them.

Just because one is shy around strangers doesn’t mean one has no friends.

It seems really mean to predict that anyone who doesn’t want to be greeted by an official greeter will someday be faced with the alternative of:

• either desperately needing something they don’t care for (the greeting of a stranger)
• or experiencing lonely desperation.

I’m sure you didn’t mean it to sound that way, but you said “when the day comes…” not “if the day comes…”

I suppose that people might expect the anti-greeters (of which I am one) to be a bit uncharitable (although I certainly try not to be). But it seems weird to me for people who are arguing in favor of a “friendliness” ministry to be unkind about it. I’m not referring primarily to the quoted post by any means.

And I’d just like to point out once again that friendliness is not the same as love. Carthusian monks and flight attendants each exhibit one without the other as a necessary part of their work. (And no, I’m not saying anything against flight attendants in personal life, it’s just that it’s impossible for 99.999% of people to be sincerely loving toward that many strangers in a year, and nobody expects it.)

–Jen

Practically speaking, many times, love begins with friendliness. A smile starts it. Then a word, perhaps a simple “hello.” And love grows from there.

It’s hard to just dive in and go visit someone in the hospital or bring a hotmeal to someone that you’ve never paid any attention to before. Certainly people do it, but it means a lot more if you at least know a person by sight and they recognize you by sight as the friendly person who always smiles and nods at them at Mass.

Also, I don’t know about Carthusian monks, but most people understand that airline attendants are doing a “job” and therefore don’t expect “love.” But they still expect kind treatment. I work in a hospital, and yes, it’s my job to help patients and visitors. I try to do it graciously, kindly, and with a empathetic smile. I just attended a hospital-wide meeting with our Chief of Staff, and it was made clear–we need to go the extra mile to provide kind, thoughtful service to everyone who comes in to the hospital, including our co-workers.

So it seems to me that if people are supposed to be kind and pleasant as part of a JOB, surely Christian people should be kind and pleasant when they are at Church to worship and serve Jesus.

Someone earlier in this thread quoted Matthew 25: 31-46. I think this pretty much sums up why greeters exist in churches. Verse 35 is especially relevant: I was a stranger and you invited me in.

I can understand why a long-standing member of the parish, or a Catholic who is visiting, does not wish to interact with other Christians. (Actually, I can’t understand that at all, but I can respect it, since many people feel that they can demonstrate the love of Christ in other ways than being pleasant and smiling.)

But we all need to keep in mind that there are STRANGERS among us. We pray for the conversion of sinners, don’t we? (Don’t YOU pray the Rosary and add the Fatima Prayer?) Well, God is going to answer that prayer, isn’t He? Or do we just pray without believing that He really will answer?

Of course there will be seekers, including many non-Catholics, who walk into a Catholic Church seeking God. Some of these people will want to be left alone. But many are seeking a friend, some guidance, some answers, the truth.

We need to stop thinking about ourselves and what WE want out of Mass, and start reaching out to others.

As I said earlier, we need to ask the Holy Spirit to guide us, so that we will KNOW which strangers wish to be smiled at, and which strangers wish to be utterly ignored. Frankly, I think that most strangers wish to have some polite form of greeting. Heck, I expect the guy at the hardware store to at least say, “Hey,” when I walk into the store, or to at least nod his head and twist his mouth into a form of a smile!

Finally, I agree with otjm’s statement of “when” you need a greeting. So many people go through life without ever needing much from others. They are happy, satisified people for whom life just seems to flow along smoothly.

But for most people, a day comes when everything falls apart. A beloved spouse or some other family member dies and the world crashes. A test result from the physical exam comes back “positive” or even “terminal.” The boss reluctantly lets many old-time staff members go. The money is all gone. The friends aren’t there for some reason. A clinical depression hits like hammer and leaves its victim floundering in despair. The faith that has sustained for a lifetime seems to be getting smaller and smaller. Life is dark and dreary and the Mass that has always been such a comfort now seems a burden and even a joke.

Although some people go from birth to death without ever experiencing sadness and despair, that’s not really the case with most human beings. And WHEN it happens, it is very nice when a kind person reaches out, smiles, and says, “Hi” or “Good morning.” It doesn’t sound like much, and you might laugh and say, “Since when does a smile cure clinical depression or assuage grief over the death of a spouse?” Well, it doesn’t. But iit connects the sufferer with a real human being, and that can give hope.

My feeling is this–if a long-time Catholicf wants to avoid contact with human beings before Mass, use the side door. That’s what the people in our parish do. Or come extremely early, sit in the front, and kneel in prayer with your head down and eyes closed. Wear earplugs to drown out the “noise” that human beings naturally make just being alive. And then after Mass, stay and pray for another 15 minutes to again avoid people.

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

Alot of people who think they feel like strangers by being welcomed at the door , is because they don’t realy want to be noticed may be because they don’t go as often as they should? Kind of a guilt trip? Just a suggestion

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

Cat, you hit the nail, it on the head, when i was nursing at the hospital’s and nursing homes, these people loved to see the same face there, to bring them their meals and to help them as much as we could. They would ask for direction to differnt areas, where to get their hair done, ETC and they were so greatful and polite. We got paid for this, a voulnteer does not, they just offer themselfs as a service to the church, or community, just like that rain or shine, and even when they are sick. I think it is so nice. My step mom has worked at the hospital in Taunton Mass for over 20 years and never got paid for this. She is so nice, and a Catholic lady who pray’s every day she is 81 and only go’s now one day a week, because she can hardly walk much any more. She misses this, and it is her outlet to. It some times helps those to do good for others, any good thing done under the sun comes from God! Love of Christ Nancy People should volunteer more often and help others it is a good thing.

 

[Elizabeth502]

My objection is to creating a manufactured ministry that somehow places an importance on needless laity participation.

Bingo. Couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s a make-work, feel-good “position” that exists for no practical or liturgical purpose. It’s artificial. It’s also, pardon me for saying, somewhat demeaning. (We don’t know where we’re going? Need directions to a pew? Need instruction about the Mass from someone with possibly much less experience, education in the faith, than the person being so greeted?) It’s artificial and sets up a phony “hierarchy.” Maybe for the elderly who also happen to be physically partly disabled, or for the developmentally disabled, having a lay greeter on hand to welcome, look out for, assist, could be handy, but that’s the only useful purpose I could see in such a position. Other than that, the occasion of Mass is not a Lonely Hearts Club with losers entering the church begging for friendship from complete strangers.

To me, if there were any “official” greeter, I would think the RCIA head would be the appropriate person – at whatever Mass he or she attends. That’s because not only would the continuous presence be a witness and comfort to those still on their journey, but also because recent converts within that parish might benefit from a continuation of his or her presence – say at least the first one or two months after Easter. And it would be more likely that the rest of the parish would also recognize that person as having a legitimate official role within the parish, as opposed to taking on airs as “special.”

Beyond that, we are all greeters. Some of us just prefer to engage in that after Mass, not before, and choose to greet those we might happen upon as we leave the church, or have made eye contact with during Mass, or would like to get to know better, or haven’t seen in a long time, etc.

Being a greeter gives you no standing or importance. You’re not “needed” more than others are needed. You’re important, and no more so or less so than others, because you are a member of the Body of Christ. Period. Over. Out.

 

[mick321]

I would thank greeters to take a minimalist approach. A smile and a whispered “good morning” is enough to make me feel welcome as I enter any Catholic Church. It also helps to establish a reverent tone for those who may wish to respond vocally. Warm, friendly conversation should be reserved for “social hour” in the parish hall, after Mass.

Some folks arrive and take their seats early so they may properly compose themselves for Mass. That process may involve quiet prayer and meditation. It is the duty of both ushers and greeters to ensure that all who enter the nave respect those who wish to engage in private prayer before Mass begins.

Something else. Kindly ensure that everyone is seated and the center aisle is closed to traffic before your priest enters the sanctuary and throughout the Mass. At an appropriate time, quickly and quietly seat late arrivals off a side aisle. This method works well when conductor Gustavo Dudamel steps in front of the LA Philharmonic. Is the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass - offered anywhere on earth - deserving of less respect?

One more thing. At any time, in any place, any person may wish to be left alone. A good greeter will be perceptive enough to recognize, and charitable enough to honor that person’s wishes.
.

 

[Cat]

Bingo. Couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s a make-work, feel-good “position” that exists for no practical or liturgical purpose. It’s artificial. It’s also, pardon me for saying, somewhat demeaning. (We don’t know where we’re going? Need directions to a pew? Need instruction about the Mass from someone with possibly much less experience, education in the faith, than the person being so greeted?) It’s artificial and sets up a phony “hierarchy.” Maybe for the elderly who also happen to be physically partly disabled, or for the developmentally disabled, having a lay greeter on hand to welcome, look out for, assist, could be handy, but that’s the only useful purpose I could see in such a position. Other than that, the occasion of Mass is not a Lonely Hearts Club with losers entering the church begging for friendship from complete strangers.

To me, if there were any “official” greeter, I would think the RCIA head would be the appropriate person – at whatever Mass he or she attends. That’s because not only would the continuous presence be a witness and comfort to those still on their journey, but also because recent converts within that parish might benefit from a continuation of his or her presence – say at least the first one or two months after Easter. And it would be more likely that the rest of the parish would also recognize that person as having a legitimate official role within the parish, as opposed to taking on airs as “special.”

Beyond that, we are all greeters. Some of us just prefer to engage in that after Mass, not before, and choose to greet those we might happen upon as we leave the church, or have made eye contact with during Mass, or would like to get to know better, or haven’t seen in a long time, etc.

**Being a greeter gives you no standing or importance. You’re not “needed” more than others are needed. You’re important, and no more so or less so than others, because you are a member of the Body of Christ. Period. Over. Out./**QUOTE]

I agree with your final paragraph. Do you really think that greeters think that they’re “important?”

I suppose it could happen. There are always people who struggle with the sin of pride. I personally think that people with that sin problem should speak with the priest and find a way to serve in the Church that keeps them completely anonymous. Greeting is probably not the best job in the Church for them. Cleaning toilets come to mind. Or dusting the pews. Something hidden.

But I honestly think that most people who do any kind of service in the Church understand that they are not any more important than anyone else. Perhaps you’ve met up with someone who has given you a bad taste in your mouth over greeters. I’m sorry if this has happened, but please don’t assume that all greeters are like the bad seeds that you met up with.

As I Corinthians 12 teaches, we are all members of the body of Christ. There should be no divisions in the body; the members should have the same care for one another (I Corinthians 12: 25). It’s a good chapter, appropriate to this discussion.

As for “demeaning,” well, I’ve said it several times in this thread, and I’ll say it again–please try to see things from the point of view of the strangers and aliens in your midst. Just because you are self-assured and confident doesn’t mean that everyone else is just like you. Yes, there are people who just want the reassurance that they’re headed in the right direction. I’m one of these people. I don’t like to barge in and do something wrong, or sit in the wrong place.

And I really have a problem with your assessment of the Mass not being a place for “losers”. We are ALL losers–if not for the grace of God, we would all be living sinful, degrading lives, and going to hell.

And there are many people who are extremely lonely and yes, they are going to church hoping with all their hearts that SOMEONE will take notice of them and befriend them. For gosh sakes, why are people like that losers? Some people just find themselves with no family or friends around them–life deals them a bad hand, and they have no one. **What better place than the CHURCH to find good friends? **

Yes, we should go to Mass to worship God and receive Jesus Christ. But for many people, they’re on a more “earthly” level because of all the pain and loneliness in their lives. We need to accept these people right where they are, right now, and not expect them to be as spiritual and high-minded as we are. Honestly, some people are so depressed, it’s a major accomplishment for them to get out of bed and drive to church. We need to help build these lonely people up and get to them to same place where we are and teach them all the inside information about the Mass that we know.

I agree with you that RCIA workers make good greeters. They already have a “gift” for working with non-Catholics. Trouble is, there aren’t enough of them to attend the nine Masses that our parish offers every Sunday. So a few more people are needed.

And I definitely agree that all of us are “greeters.” Not all of us will greet others the same way. Some of us are more effusive (don’t ever go down South if you dislike hugs and effusiveness!). Others are more reserved. That’s fine. We all need to work together and help each other.

 

[revert_jen]

This is going to be my last post on this thread, since I seem to be unable to make myself clear at all, and I’m tired of being misrepresented and misunderstood. I hope whoever is still here accomplishes whatever they are trying to accomplish.

Also, I don’t know about Carthusian monks, but most people understand that airline attendants are doing a “job” and therefore don’t expect “love.” But they still expect kind treatment. I work in a hospital, and yes, it’s my job to help patients and visitors. I try to do it graciously, kindly, and with a empathetic smile. I just attended a hospital-wide meeting with our Chief of Staff, and it was made clear–we need to go the extra mile to provide kind, thoughtful service to everyone who comes in to the hospital, including our co-workers.

So it seems to me that if people are supposed to be kind and pleasant as part of a JOB, surely Christian people should be kind and pleasant when they are at Church to worship and serve Jesus.

You quoted my entire post but I don’t think you “got” it. I never said that friendliness was bad, I just said it wasn’t love. The reason I said that, is because many times in this thread, people indicated that people who don’t approve of greeters are not loving people, or that Christian love requires one to support the use of greeters. My point about the monks is that they live a life of love and service in prayer to the Church and to the world, but they do not speak to strangers ever, for the most part.

In any case I never said people shouldn’t be kind. Of course I smile at people if I happen to catch their eye. It’s natural and relaxed and human. It’s the forced and official nature of the greeters that can make people uncomfortable.

I can understand why a long-standing member of the parish, or a Catholic who is visiting, does not wish to interact with other Christians. (Actually, I can’t understand that at all, but I can respect it, since many people feel that they can demonstrate the love of Christ in other ways than being pleasant and smiling.)

I never said I don’t wish to interact with other Christians. Since you quoted my post, if you have stopped referring to me personally, it would be kind to say so. I do believe that you can love people in an undemonstrative way, such as making personal sacrifices to be able to give more alms, praying for people in private, and so forth.

Finally, I agree with otjm’s statement of “when” you need a greeting. So many people go through life without ever needing much from others. They are happy, satisified people for whom life just seems to flow along smoothly.

But for most people, a day comes when everything falls apart.

And if that person is comforted by the impersonal greeting of a stranger, then they wouldn’t be of the anti-greeter sort. I, like many other people, have had times when I thought everything worthwhile in this life was gone. At those times, I still would not have been provided with any comfort whatsoever by receiving a smile and a “good morning” by someone whose job it was. Yes, the spontaneous friendliness of a stranger who is seeing me as an individual would have been comforting (although not enough so that I can imagine being desperate for it). We have all probably experienced those moments of beautiful and inexplicable connection with someone. But that is not what is happening with greeters, who are (of necessity, not through any fault or anything) just offering the same smile and good morning to everyone without necessarily seeing any of them as individuals. There’s nothing in that to provide a ray of hope in times of depression.

My feeling is this–if a long-time Catholicf wants to avoid contact with human beings before Mass, use the side door. That’s what the people in our parish do. Or come extremely early, sit in the front, and kneel in prayer with your head down and eyes closed. Wear earplugs to drown out the “noise” that human beings naturally make just being alive. And then after Mass, stay and pray for another 15 minutes to again avoid people.

So anyone who thinks the sanctuary shouldn’t be filled with the sounds of mindless greetings is some sort of weirdo who can’t handle “the noise that human beings naturally make just by being alive,” since apparently it isn’t possible to be alive without talking. And anyone who doesn’t like greeters is characterized as wanting to avoid all contact with human beings, and has to go through side doors, and wait behind after Mass is over like some sort of second-class citizen. Nice. I guess we’re not allowed to have different parishes with different atmospheres–some more solemnly reverent, and some more friendly and outgoing, as I suggested in my post. What a surprisingly frustrating thread this is.

–Jen

 

[mullenpm]

revert_jen, I understand what you are saying. The people who are objecting to those of us who do not want “greeters” are possibly the same people who just LOOOOVE the kissing and hugging and chatting during the Sign of Peace.:grouphug:

I find the idea of “greeters” completely unnecessary. I do not want to be approached by anyone when I am entering the church because I am mentally preparing for Mass.

Cat, why should those of us who do not want to make a social event of going to Mass be told to “use the side door.” How un-Christian of you. Since when is the front door of a Catholic Church now solely the property of the social set?

 

[Cat]

This is going to be my last post on this thread, since I seem to be unable to make myself clear at all, and I’m tired of being misrepresented and misunderstood. I hope whoever is still here accomplishes whatever they are trying to accomplish.

You quoted my entire post but I don’t think you “got” it. I never said that friendliness was bad, I just said it wasn’t love. The reason I said that, is because many times in this thread, people indicated that people who don’t approve of greeters are not loving people, or that Christian love requires one to support the use of greeters. My point about the monks is that they live a life of love and service in prayer to the Church and to the world, but they do not speak to strangers ever, for the most part.

In any case I never said people shouldn’t be kind. Of course I smile at people if I happen to catch their eye. It’s natural and relaxed and human. It’s the forced and official nature of the greeters that can make people uncomfortable.

I never said I don’t wish to interact with other Christians. Since you quoted my post, if you have stopped referring to me personally, it would be kind to say so. I do believe that you can love people in an undemonstrative way, such as making personal sacrifices to be able to give more alms, praying for people in private, and so forth.

And if that person is comforted by the impersonal greeting of a stranger, then they wouldn’t be of the anti-greeter sort. I, like many other people, have had times when I thought everything worthwhile in this life was gone. At those times, I still would not have been provided with any comfort whatsoever by receiving a smile and a “good morning” by someone whose job it was. Yes, the spontaneous friendliness of a stranger who is seeing me as an individual would have been comforting (although not enough so that I can imagine being desperate for it). We have all probably experienced those moments of beautiful and inexplicable connection with someone. But that is not what is happening with greeters, who are (of necessity, not through any fault or anything) just offering the same smile and good morning to everyone without necessarily seeing any of them as individuals. There’s nothing in that to provide a ray of hope in times of depression.

So anyone who thinks the sanctuary shouldn’t be filled with the sounds of mindless greetings is some sort of weirdo who can’t handle “the noise that human beings naturally make just by being alive,” since apparently it isn’t possible to be alive without talking. And anyone who doesn’t like greeters is characterized as wanting to avoid all contact with human beings, and has to go through side doors, and wait behind after Mass is over like some sort of second-class citizen. Nice. I guess we’re not allowed to have different parishes with different atmospheres–some more solemnly reverent, and some more friendly and outgoing, as I suggested in my post. What a surprisingly frustrating thread this is.

–Jen

So much hyperbole. Why are you getting so mad? Why walk away? Just keep talking and explaining your point of view.

No, I do not think the sanctuary should be filled with the sounds of “mindless greetings.” That’s disrespectful of the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, and of others who are trying to pray.

The sanctuary (actually the nave) should be as silent as possible. The “human noises” that I am referring to are the little noises that human beings make–coughs, sighs, scraping of feet, thumps and bumps from sitting down, chirping (turning the cell phone off), babies and children “talking”, etc.

And yes, of course people can love in a non-demonstrative way and we SHOULD love without making a show of it. But surely you realize that most strangers have no idea that you and others are doing such loving acts, and the only chance you have to show them “love” is that initial meeting, when you make eye contact and appear pleasant. Of course you don’t have to hug their neck and inquire about their life story. But if no one greets them or smiles at them, many of these strangers will never come back, and you won’t have a chance to practice non-demonstrative love on them.

Yes, it IS possible to greet hundreds of people and see every single one of them as individuals and love them.

And yes, this little moment of connecting CAN bring a small ray of hope to someone who is lonely and depressed.

Even if a greeter greets 100 people, and 99 people aren’t impressed at all, if even ONE person is cheered and encouraged by the greeting, then it was worth it.

And why is entering by a side door “second class?” I would say that hundreds of people at our parish do this. We do this at times when we park in the side lots. It means that you don’t have to push your way through the crowded narthex. The votives are next to the side door, so you can stop and pray and light a candle before sitting down. It’s just a different door, not a lower-class door.

And waiting after the Mass–what is second class about that? Lots of people, including me, remain in their pews to pray for a few minutes before leaving the nave. That’s not a second-class thing at all. A lot of people like to wait a few minutes before leaving–I’ve seen whole families with young children remain in the pews to pray or just to sit and adore Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament (in the tabernacle) or to contemplate the Crucifix.

I get the feeling that you (and others on this thread) have had some terrible experiences with greeters. I’m really very sorry.

I wish you could see “greeters” done correctly.

The greeters in our parish are not effusive or demonstrative. They hold open the door and say in a very quiet voice, “Good evening” or “Good morning,” and that’s IT. If someone wants to talk, they’ll talk–quietly, since we’re outside the nave. But no hugging or kissing and usually not even a hand-shake unless someone introduces them to a friend or relative. It’s just a friendly face and a name-tag so that a stranger will know who they’re talking to. That’s all.

It is sad that the priest feels the need to “organize” greeting and recruit volunteers and train them and assign them to a schedule. But if that’s what it takes, then so be it. Better to organize it and make sure it happens than to just hope that it happens and then feel bad when no one greets visitors.

 

[ac_claire]

Well said, revert_jen.

 

[Ockham]

My feeling is this–if a long-time Catholicf wants to avoid contact with human beings before Mass, use the side door. That’s what the people in our parish do. Or come extremely early, sit in the front, and kneel in prayer with your head down and eyes closed. Wear earplugs to drown out the “noise” that human beings naturally make just being alive. And then after Mass, stay and pray for another 15 minutes to again avoid people.

Excuse me? You are pushing people to the side door just because they don’t agree with you?

What’s wrong with going to Mass early? Is that what freakish people in your parish do? Maybe those people are saying prayers to God, meditating, preparing themselves to receive the Blessed Sacrifice. Maybe they stay after Mass in thanksgiving of what they just received. What’s wrong with praying after Mass?

Human beings were created by God. When they are in God’s church and His presence they should show proper respect and reverence. Making noise is not natural - worship is. Perhaps if your motivation for going to Mass was centred on Christ you’d understand why people go early and stay late, genuflect, say the Rosary, and other devotions. If a social club is what you’re looking for then I suggest joining one of Oprah’s red hat purple top groups.

p.s. In the spirit of Christian charity, please be concise with your response. I don’t have time to read a full page describing your history in the Evangelical movement, music ministry, the bad day you had at work, physical ailments, or list of chores to do today.

 

[ac_claire]

Yes, it IS possible to greet hundreds of people and see every single one of them as individuals and love them.

And yes, this little moment of connecting CAN bring a small ray of hope to someone who is lonely and depressed.

Even if a greeter greets 100 people, and 99 people aren’t impressed at all, if even ONE person is cheered and encouraged by the greeting, then it was worth it.

I can see you’re sincere, Cat, but I’m not convinced by any one of these statements you made above. There’s no real persuasive argument; it’s just emotionalism.

Me personally, no I never had a “horrible experience” with a greeter, and they aren’t the bane of my existence to any extent. Yes, it can be done better and it can be done worse, but overall the whole concept is artificial and it’s not part of the Mass. There’s no reason why it should be pushed.

 

[Elizabeth502]

I agree with your final paragraph. Do you really think that greeters think that they’re “important?”

Definitely. I have lots of evidence for that, LOL. But to me that’s not even the real issue. Let them have their sense of “importance” if they need that for some psychological reason. Again, there is no “greeting” ministry in the Roman Catholic Church, separate from the actual and implied commands of the NT to greet one another [with affection], etc. I already stated that I would have much less objection to the current lay ministerial functionaries assuming that role. They do indeed have separate “importance” in the functioning of a parish, and they have symbolic stature in the eyes of the regulars there, not to mention to those in the conversion process.

I suppose it could happen. There are always people who struggle with the sin of pride. I personally think that people with that sin problem should speak with the priest and find a way to serve in the Church that keeps them completely anonymous. Greeting is probably not the best job in the Church for them. Cleaning toilets come to mind. Or dusting the pews. Something hidden.

As I Corinthians 12 teaches, we are all members of the body of Christ.

Thank you for re-quoting me. I said that.

As for “demeaning,” well, I’ve said it several times in this thread, and I’ll say it again–please try to see things from the point of view of the strangers and aliens in your midst. Just because you are self-assured and confident doesn’t mean that everyone else is just like you. Yes, there are people who just want the reassurance that they’re headed in the right direction. I’m one of these people. I don’t like to barge in and do something wrong, or sit in the wrong place.

OK. I understand your feelings. Perhaps I would have less objection, then, if the self-appointed “greeters” would be less conspicuous, less “confrontational,” if you will, about requiring me to greet them when I enter the church. Maybe they could be off to the side, so that those that receive comfort from such available persons can choose those entrances, or choose to exchange a mutual greeting? It is very socially awkward to force someone to engage socially with you. (And it’s considered in bad taste in polite circles. The Gospels and Epistles actually do account for sensitivity to such things.)

And I really have a problem with your assessment of the Mass not being a place for “losers”. We are ALL losers–if not for the grace of God, we would all be living sinful, degrading lives, and going to hell.

Spiritually, yes, I’m a loser. I confess. But socially I’m not a loser, and there’s an implication in the position of “greeter,” that without them, those entering the church wouldn’t have a clue how to conduct themselves in conversation. Maybe we do have a clue, but recognize that, as someone else said, we’d rather compose ourselves inwardly before expressing ourselves (later) outwardly. (What a concept.)

And there are many people who are extremely lonely and yes, they are going to church hoping with all their hearts that SOMEONE will take notice of them and befriend them. For gosh sakes, why are people like that losers?

They are not losers. They have dignity before God. In many cases, those who are socially “losers” have greater dignity before God than those who can manuever through a crowd. My objection is to the assumption that we need official “greeters” not only for those who might be hurting and supposedly needing or welcoming an outstretched heart, but also for the many who neither need nor desire that JUST BEFORE MASS.

Honestly, some people are so depressed, it’s a major accomplishment for them to get out of bed and drive to church. We need to help build these lonely people up and get to them to same place where we are and teach them all the inside information about the Mass that we know.

I passionately agree with you about the charitable requirement to reach out to the depressed. It is a personal cause of mine. I politely disagree that greeters at a door for a few seconds is an effective way to treat or provide sufficient practical support for such serious clinical depression. Much more courageous and ongoing opportunities are needed to “connect.”

I agree with you that RCIA workers make good greeters. They already have a “gift” for working with non-Catholics. Trouble is, there aren’t enough of them to attend the nine Masses that our parish offers every Sunday. So a few more people are needed.

It’s my experience over many years in many parishes – but particularly in those parishes where the depressed and the downtrodden tend to gather, because they feel more welcome there – that those in that population tend to seek out the most populated Mass, by a long mile, which is also the Mass that tends to be more joyous and the one attended the most by those seeking conversion. It is sufficient that the RCIA leader is the greeter for that Mass. There are also other official positions (CCD and more) that could be greeters for subordinate Masses, less populated.

And I definitely agree that all of us are “greeters.” Not all of us will greet others the same way. Some of us are more effusive (don’t ever go down South if you dislike hugs and effusiveness!). Others are more reserved. That’s fine. We all need to work together and help each other.

Hey, I love hugs. Very physically affectionate. But not generally to complete strangers seconds before Holy Mass.

 

[Cat]

I can see you’re sincere, Cat, but I’m not convinced by any one of these statements you made above. There’s no real persuasive argument; it’s just emotionalism.

Me personally, no I never had a “horrible experience” with a greeter, and they aren’t the bane of my existence to any extent. Yes, it can be done better and it can be done worse, but overall the whole concept is artificial and it’s not part of the Mass. There’s no reason why it should be pushed.

Greeting people is not part of the Mass. It happens before and sometimes after the Mass.

So let me understand what you and several others on this thread are trying to explain, and please remember that I spent 47 years in the evangelical tradition, so I honestly can’t envision what you are seeing as the best way.

You would like to see a parish where there are no official “greeters” in the narthex or nave and there is no formal greeting ministry. Ushers to take up the collection, run the sound system, etc. are OK, but they should not talk to people in the nave other than the simplest of whispered greetings.

You want people to enter the church building, including the narthex or lobby portion of the church, without speaking, other than the simplest “hey” or “hi” or “good morning.” No further talking, and certainly no “chatter.”

You want silence in the nave as much as is possible for humans. No talking at all between Masses, other than prayers (e.g., the Rosary).

If people wish to talk and chatter, they should go outside the church building, or into a fellowship hall set aside for loud chatter and talking.

You want silence between Masses in the narthex, too, since any chatter or greetings will carry over into the nave where people are praying.

You want a time of Coffee and Donuts in a separate hall or room in the church building for anyone who wishes to talk. Visitors will learn about this…how? A sign prominently posted in the narthex? And the visitors will feel invited and welcomed because of the message/graphic on the sign? Is that an accurate way for me to describe the way visitors are welcomed?

You believe that strangers and visitors should not be greeted formally, but only by those parishioners, perhaps the ones sitting near them, or standing near them in the narthex, who happen to notice them and feel convicted to smile and whisper a simple “Hello” or “Good morning.”

People in the parish should be encouraged by the priests to greet people that they don’t know, but with a simple smile and sotto voce word of greeting.

A visitor or stranger who attempts to talk or ask questions should be responded to in a whisper or a very soft voice, and if they continue to talk out loud, they should be told that we must keep silence in the church.

Outside the Mass, the parishioners should be involved in loving acts throughout the week, namely the giving of alms for the poor, and doing hands-on acts that demonstrate love–e.g., making meals and delivering them to those in need, spending time with those who are lonely, helping those who are depressed to seek appropriate treatment both cognitive and medical, visiting and spending time with the elderly and the forgotten, etc.

Is this the picture that you are trying to get across of the “Perfect Church?”

Is this how Catholic churches have always been? Again, please keep in mind that I only started attending Catholic churches in 2001. I don’t have the history and tradition and frame of reference that you do.

Were Catholic churches really silent in the narthexes in the past? If so, how long ago was this?

Is this what you do? Is this how your parish works? People like it this way? Is the parish “close” i.e., are people friends and is the fellowship sweet and frequent? Are the people there for each other?

Does it work? Do you have a lot of visitors? Do you get a good number of converts to Catholicism from Protestantism (not due to marriage), and from other non-Christian religions? Do you get a lot of reverts?

Thank you for explaining.

Is all that correct? Is this what you envision?

 

[Cat]

Excuse me? You are pushing people to the side door just because they don’t agree with you?

What’s wrong with going to Mass early? Is that what freakish people in your parish do? Maybe those people are saying prayers to God, meditating, preparing themselves to receive the Blessed Sacrifice. Maybe they stay after Mass in thanksgiving of what they just received. What’s wrong with praying after Mass?

Human beings were created by God. When they are in God’s church and His presence they should show proper respect and reverence. Making noise is not natural - worship is. Perhaps if your motivation for going to Mass was centred on Christ you’d understand why people go early and stay late, genuflect, say the Rosary, and other devotions. If a social club is what you’re looking for then I suggest joining one of Oprah’s red hat purple top groups.

p.s. In the spirit of Christian charity, please be concise with your response. I don’t have time to read a full page describing your history in the Evangelical movement, music ministry, the bad day you had at work, physical ailments, or list of chores to do today.

It’s OK to skip reading my posts since you don’t have the time.

 

[Joan_M]

Really, I think it’s time for this thread to be shut down. We were asked for our opinions and those of us who do not think greeters are necessary or desirable are being continually chastised for our opinions!

This has now reached page 15 and it is just a continuous beating for a number of posters. Why? Did the OP really not want any opinions contrary to theirs? then why ask the question?

Unfortunately, also, the chastisement has taken the form of personal attacks - those of us who are not in favor of greeters are, apparently, unloving, un-Christian, friendless, etc.

I, for one, take exception to this, It is, actually, unloving and un-Christian!