What do you think of people getting married into different religions?

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Melanilove

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Hello everybody, I hope you all are having a great Sunday on this Sanctity of Life Sunday!! 😃

I would like to engage in a discussion that struck my eyes earlier today. As I was scanning through my newsfeed on Facebook, I passed by a girls status that read “Church was good.” as I began to read the comments, her friend wrote “But you’re a Jew.” and the girl went on to tell her that her mother is Catholic, while her father is Jewish, and that she is going to temple another day. “I pray both ways, so it’s alright!!” she said.

Now here is my question to you: Do you think it is okay to marry someone that has a different religion than you? Is it okay to “pray both ways”?

Personally, I do think it is difficult on the children to go through the different churches, and I believe that when they get to a certain age they will began to question their beliefs and how they were raised. I do believe that, say an example where a Catholic married a Protestant, that isn’t much of a big difference, but a Catholic marrying a Jew may lead to some major differences and obstacles when it comes to how they want to raise their children. What’s your view?

God bless you all and many smiles 👍,
Melani
 
I think you are right - the parents being of different religions confuses the children.

My belief about marriage is that, since the two are to become one, they need to have as many things in common as possible. “Opposites attract,” but really, the only “opposite” that is required is that they be of opposite sexes. Everything else should be as similar as possible, including religion, attitudes toward children and child-rearing, housekeeping, holidays, holiday traditions, etc. 🙂

Obviously they will not be identical, but they need to be similar - Catholics should go with Catholics, Jews should go with Jews, Protestants should go with Protestants, etc.
 
It is very lonely area of life, a void in something that is radically important, that lack of unity in spiritual belief and lack of sharing in Sacramental life. It undermines the likelihood of your children remaining Catholic as they have lived with, grown with, conflicting or different religious truth…which easily undermines both religions or faiths to them.

Not just guessing. I’ve shared that experience. Your children grow, you go to Mass alone, every Sunday.
It’s a challenge that some people can make work to some degree, but a lifelong deprivation.
However, you hope, and pray.

Straddling two religions like the girl on Facebook, but how can she fully commit to both?
Good that she tries. May God bless her
 
It’s OK,but it’s hard enough to be married to someone of the same faith. Different faith backgrounds can be a very tough obstacle. Prayer prayer prayer, communication too!
Think long and hard before you do this.
 
I think it’s great if they do. Because of it, about half of my family is (they became) Catholic. 🙂
 
Swiss_Guy said:
I think it’s great if they do. Because of it, about half of my family is (they became) Catholic. 🙂
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It would not have been so “great” if they had taken the other alternative, whatever it was - or just decided that religion must not be very important, in the first place. 😉

For every success story, there are hundreds of tragedies.
 
If a Catholic marries a non-Catholic, he or she is supposed to raise the children as Catholics. I come from a family that doesn’t handle disagreement or difference of opinion very graciously :D, so I can’t imagine learning from parents (or telling one’s children) that Mom and Dad can’t agree on something of the highest importance!

I’m a future Catholic. If I fell in love with a non-Catholic girl, I think I would owe it to her (and to future children) to make it clear that I couldn’t budge from my commitment to the Catholic Church. I wouldn’t want to damage my own witness or hinder the faith of future children, and I also wouldn’t want her to do something against her conscience. I’d pray about how to express this with kindness and charity, but I’d have to say it because it is the right thing to do.

As challenging as it would be, I would consider marriage with some kinds of Protestants (and perhaps the Orthodox); but I would rather marry within the Catholic Church if possible. I would not marry outside of Christianity.
 
jmcrae said:
It would not have been so “great” if they had taken the other alternative, whatever it was - or just decided that religion must not be very important, in the first place. 😉
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Nah, my family is pretty religious. 🙂 Gotta love those Swiss people!!! 😃
 
I don’t see why not. Lots of Pagans marry persons of other faiths (or no faith). I can see how there would be conflict if one partner insists on bringing up the children in their religion, in which case it probably wouldn’t be the best idea, but otherwise, if they’re compatible, I don’t see a problem with it.
 
jmcrae said:
I think you are right - the parents being of different religions confuses the children.

My belief about marriage is that, since the two are to become one, they need to have as many things in common as possible. “Opposites attract,” but really, the only “opposite” that is required is that they be of opposite sexes. Everything else should be as similar as possible, including religion, attitudes toward children and child-rearing, housekeeping, holidays, holiday traditions, etc. 🙂

Obviously they will not be identical, but they need to be similar - Catholics should go with Catholics, Jews should go with Jews, Protestants should go with Protestants, etc.
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As a Latter Day Saint, I would agree with this, particularly as noted with children. This is applicable with Mormons as well.

Children have enough challenges these versus when most of us were younger, with spiritual things being dismissed more and more — have God and faith in your marriage in the same church, with children growing up is very important.
 
If the followers of a religion is a minority and there are not so many of them isn’t it kind of necessary to marry people of another faith? Mandeans for example are only allowed to marry people of their own faith but there are not that many Mandeans in the world (60 000 or 70 000). According to wikipedia there are 23 mandeans in Indonesia and if you are only allowed to marry with another mandean… well I think you might see the problem.

There is nothing wrong with marrying someone of another faith but there can of course be problems if the parents wants to bring up their kids in their own religion. I myself have parents of different faiths, one is Catholic and the other is a Protestant. The Catholic one is more active though so thats the faith I was brought up with. For me personally I think it is likely that I will marry someone who is not a Catholic, but I might think that way because I live in a small town and actually could count all the Catholics of the opposite sex who is near my age and I know on one of my hands. The situation is probably a bit different at some other places.
 
Melanilove said:
Hello everybody, I hope you all are having a great Sunday on this Sanctity of Life Sunday!! 😃

I would like to engage in a discussion that struck my eyes earlier today. As I was scanning through my newsfeed on Facebook, I passed by a girls status that read “Church was good.” as I began to read the comments, her friend wrote “But you’re a Jew.” and the girl went on to tell her that her mother is Catholic, while her father is Jewish, and that she is going to temple another day. “I pray both ways, so it’s alright!!” she said.

Now here is my question to you: Do you think it is okay to marry someone that has a different religion than you? Is it okay to “pray both ways”?

Personally, I do think it is difficult on the children to go through the different churches, and I believe that when they get to a certain age they will began to question their beliefs and how they were raised. I do believe that, say an example where a Catholic married a Protestant, that isn’t much of a big difference, but a Catholic marrying a Jew may lead to some major differences and obstacles when it comes to how they want to raise their children. What’s your view?

God bless you all and many smiles 👍,
Melani
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Bad idea for several reasons.
If both are devout, then both are going to want to instill their values into their children. I see this being problematic already with regards to Protestantism-Orthodoxy-Catholicism. I can’t imagine it getting any easier when the religions are entirely different. I can’t see the marriage succeeding long-term (for in most cases) unless either one side converts, or one spouse loses interest in religion altogether.

But in some cases even a “dormant” faith can cause problems.

Case in point: I knew this lovely girl, her boyfriend was from a southeast Asian nation, I think Laos, but I don’t remember fully. He is from a Buddhist upbringing, while she nominally a Christian but practicing a “free spiritualist”.

Religion was generally never an issue between them. Neither were really practicing at all. But things changed.

She became pregnant with twins. Unfortunately, there were complications, and both little infant boys were in serious jeopardy. He wanted her to have Buddhist clergymen perform some kind of Buddhist ceremony/ritual over her, as did his family. She, however, declined, insisting on her own version of prayer.

Sadly, one of the twins eventually died. The arguments over the whole Buddhist shant became huge, and they eventually separated.

Very sad.
 
Well, I have a friend whose mom is Catholic and father is Jewish. Seemed to work out well for them. Kids are both Catholic.

I married a Baptist. At the time I was not really practicing, so it didn’t bother me. It wasn’t until he told me that all Catholics are going to hell that I started getting bugged. His Pastor just told him that and he ignorantly believed it. His father was catholic and told him that was false so he stopped saying it. I did attend his church and liked the people well enough, but they were very judgmental I and resented it. It was a problem for us.

He fell away and I left that church, and went to Lutheran. I really liked it. However, I never was fully satisfied. I am very happy to be home again.

The worst part is my kids were not raised Catholic. I do invite them, and want them to go. My daughter has a friend, and the friend is interested in my son. He likes her also. She attends the same church I do. I do hope this friendship will help them to become interested in the catholic church.

Such a long story. Short of it is, I suppose some relationships can survive different religious backgrounds, some can’t. If I had to do it again, I would defiantly forget his feelings and do what I felt was right. Or not married a non catholic to begin with.
 
Marriages between those of different faiths can be successful…usually they’re just problematic. My ex-wife was a Jehovah’s Witness when we married…an inactive JW…but a JW none the less. Once we married she wanted to start practicing her faith again…which was ok until it started affecting family life. I went on a business trip and came home to find all my crucifixes taken down and put away. Yeah, that was a pretty major argument. Further, she was gone up to 10 hours a week practicing her faith…which really took away from family life. Our compromise was that she would attend mass with me and I would go to the Kingdom Hall with her. She was one of those rare birds that when the Elders and fellow JW’s started giving her a hard time about being married to a non-JW and the fact that she was making compromises…i.e. attending church with me…going to dinner for birthdays…going to Christmas celebrations with my family…having a christmas tree…and after I told the Elders it was none of their business as I was the spiritual head of the house…she had enough of their hypocricy and malarkey…quit attending the Kingdom Hall and eventually became a catholic.

The failure of our marriage had nothing to do with religion, but had she not left the Kingdom Hall our marriage would have ended sooner.
 
Life is hard enough. Why bind yourself to someone who doesn’t share the deepest, most important aspect of who you are, what you believe and what forms your worldview?

We live in a society full of romantic notions about love. But real love is more than a fuzzy feeling, it is a shared committment to sacrifice oneself for the benefit of the beloved. How do you even do that if your beloved rejects what is most true and holy in this world?

I’m extremely glad that upon getting serious about my faith in college, I recognized the danger of getting involved with a woman who didn’t share that with me. Could have easily gone a different way.
 
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