what do you think?

[stefina]

I was wondering… in a relationship if both people have issues sometimes with masterbating is it bad to move foward into your relationship?.. Me and my boyfriend talked about it and we dont have porn issues… we used too, but neither of us have watched it for quite a few months… now all that happens is we will go about 2-3 weeks without masterbating… then it slips and happens again… I do believe we will only get better, because when we first started dating we did almost everyday… but I was just wondering if its a bad thing if moving forward in a relationship (like engagment) will be bad if we both arent 100% away from masterbation… any advice?

Thanks… and wishing everyone a blessed new year!

 

[danimay]

… then it slips and happens again…

It doesn’t slip and happen…you choose to do it. You can control it, but you won’t until you take responsibility for your actions. This is not something that is “happening to you”.

Sorry to sound so harsh, I don’t mean it that way. Your post was just screaming for a reality check.

GOD bless you in your struggle.

 

[monicatholic]

should you move forward?

if people had to be perfect before marrying, the human race would have died out at two.

but…

sexuality is the very meaning of who we are as human persons with bodies. sexuality is us. we need to strive to get it right-- which is to get it God’s way.

CCC 2352

By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”
To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.

while your culpability may be lessened because masturbation has become a force of habit, you’re still called to strive toward sexuality as God intends it. (i’m not saying you ***are ***less culpable, merely that the CCC suggests it may be so-- no one can judge but God and He will inform your conscience if you are open to Him.)

anyway, it seems like you and your potential future spouse might take some prayerful time, each seperately, with a spiritual advisor who will catechise you in Theology of the Body.

you can’t strive toward God’s meaning for sexuality if you don’t understand it.