What does a Godly relationship look like?

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I am recently coming off the end of a relationship. I was with a man who I thought I would marry (He was very career driven, successful, a practicing Catholic, and seemed kind and generous). However, I am grateful that with time, his true personality and motivations came through and the relationship ended. It has been a difficult few months, but for the most part, I have been able to pick myself up from the heartbreak, see him and things for what they really were, and begin the journey to emotional and spiritual healing. From this relationship, I learned what I will not tolerate: I will not tolerate a man who calls me names and puts me down when he becomes angry, I will not tolerate a man who will make a joke at my expense in front of his friends, I will not tolerate a man who pressures me to hurry up and make huge, life-changing decisions, and then get angry when I don’t choose the one he wants. I will not tolerate a man who will not make me or our relationship a priority in his life. The list could go on and on…

That being said, I’ve started focusing on what I do want in my life. I would like to know, especially from those who have healthy, fulfilling relationships and marriages: What does a Godly relationship look like? If you are happily married, what did your courtship look like? What is it that set your partner/spouse apart from the others? How did/do you treat each other?
 
red0207 said:
I am recently coming off the end of a relationship. I was with a man who I thought I would marry (He was very career driven, successful, a practicing Catholic, and seemed kind and generous). However, I am grateful that with time, his true personality and motivations came through and the relationship ended. It has been a difficult few months, but for the most part, I have been able to pick myself up from the heartbreak, see him and things for what they really were, and begin the journey to emotional and spiritual healing. From this relationship, I learned what I will not tolerate: I will not tolerate a man who calls me names and puts me down when he becomes angry, I will not tolerate a man who will make a joke at my expense in front of his friends, I will not tolerate a man who pressures me to hurry up and make huge, life-changing decisions, and then get angry when I don’t choose the one he wants. I will not tolerate a man who will not make me or our relationship a priority in his life. The list could go on and on…

That being said, I’ve started focusing on what I do want in my life. I would like to know, especially from those who have healthy, fulfilling relationships and marriages: What does a Godly relationship look like? If you are happily married, what did your courtship look like? What is it that set your partner/spouse apart from the others? How did/do you treat each other?
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As a single guy with some unfortunate relationship experience in my past I have also wondered what a holy, Godly relationship should look like.

The Saints are who Catholics should be modelling our lives after. Unfortunately, there aren’t a whole lot of Saints out there who were married. We do have a few of them, however. A great example that we have are the parents of the great St. Therese of Lisieux (the Blessed Louis and Zellie Martin). This holy couple were both beatified back in 2008.

I’m planning to get this book when I get some more free time. It’s a composition of a series of letters that were written either by Louis or Zellie and goes into quite a bit of detail about their lives and each other and I think it will provide some fantastic insight into what kind of relationship I would like to one day have with my future spouse.

amazon.com/Call-Deeper-Love-Correspondence-1864-1885/dp/0818913215

God bless! 🙂
 
I can’t help you with godly but I can give you some advice for dating in general.

What drew me to my fiance was his gentleness. He was very kind, but never a pushover. Strong when he had to be, but always on the side of the people who aren’t strong enough on their own. I never saw him hurt anyone. He cared for his family, guided his little brother, and showed a lot of loyalty to his mom and sister. He welcomed his mom’s new husband and treats him with the utmost respect.

I never felt rushed. We took things very slowly and he always paid attention to me and how I was feeling. We didn’t say ‘I love you’ for six months, but when we did I knew it meant something.

He remembered special occasions, took me out for special dates just because, made me laugh constantly, and stood firmly by me when I went through a very serious illness.

He’s a hardworker, well-educated, and despite growing up wealthy has never felt entitled or taken anyone or anything for granted.

He’s the life of the party. Wherever he goes he makes friends and people are sad to see him leave. People are just drawn to him. But he isn’t cocky and he never takes advantage of his charisma. And despite the fact that he always has a lot of people wanting to be around him he always makes sure to make me feel like his first priority.
 
God should be the center of your relationship and you should be on the same page when it comes to growing in your faith not so much as individuals but as a couple too.
This has totally changed the dynamic of our relationship and has made it more for each other then for ourselves.
We understand what sacrifice means and how it fits into our relationship for each other…we are no longer selfish and everything we do is for each other and our daughter. I know this is kind of trivial but my husband told me that whenever he cooks steak for us (our favorite meal) he always gives me the better cut of meat. It’s a small sacrifice he makes for me…and he did this without telling me for a long time.
When he was working really long, difficult hours at his old job…I always made sure that he would come home to a fairly organized house and have a hot, home made meal ready for him. It was tough when I became a new mom and was going to school and caring for a new house too…but I made it happen.

My husband and I always go to Mass together…and that should go without saying…but we go to weekly confession together and we have made resolutions for our Year of Faith…as opposed to New Years resolutions.

The one we made this year was to read the entire bible together (cover to cover) in one year…using a guide and reading it after dinner every night.

Dating for us was getting to know each other. Both of us are in the military and we both have been away from each other for a substantial amount of time. We used this time to talk on the phone, skype, and write letters.

Honesty, respect and trust were just as important, if not more important, to our relationship as love is.

Date night is a big deal. We try to go out on dates once a week if we can get a babysitter. I make sure I dress up and look as nice as I can for him on date night.
 
What a great question! I wish I had more data to give you an answer but the fact you’d ask makes me thing you’re on the good path.
 
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