What does it actually mean to forgive somebody you hurt you, insulted you and did anything bad to you? Do you need to continue being friends with the person who hurt or it is enough to forgive him/her in your heart but don’t continue with the firendship, especially in the cases when you were hurt more times?
That’s a wonderful question. First, it does* not *mean that the sin against you, the abuse or unkind behavior was sanctioned by our Heavenly Father, that is was all right for you to be treated that way, or that you necessarily have to remain friends.
There is a scripture that reminds us “Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord.” It’s not our realm to judge, but God’s. By letting go of the resentment, by putting out of our consciousness the “re-member-ing” of the act against us, we can live in peace.
“In malice be ye children.” Young ones have a wonderful way of letting go and getting on with life. This is often possible.
When, in some circumstances, in order to remain safe, we must part company with someone who has abused us physically, verbally or emotionally, I’m sure that we can forgive while remaining at a safe distance. “Be Ye wise as serpents, harmless as doves,” is the instruction, never the other way around.
If we can step aside and in our hearts say “Lord, I give this person to you, someone who has hurt me.” then we allow God to take over. I think that much anger and frustration stems from people stepping in where “angels fear to tread.”
The “Our Father” teaches us “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” We all want a clear, clean slate. When possible, we can start anew, friendships can go on, but in cases of danger such as domestic abuse, or the horrors of rape, I think the word “trespass” is key: Some evils are such that only God can enter that territory.
Let Him. Stand back, step aside and like St. Paul, glory in any weakness you have about any remaining doubts. St. Paul advised us that when we know we are weakest, we are in the best position to completely allow God to take over. Then He can truly go into that territory we can’t comprehend or where we cannot survive. If we imagine this line between God’s realm, God’s territory, and ours we can understand forgiveness as something almost tangible!
God knows our hearts, and will help us to know in each instance, how to pray for ourselves and for people who have trespassed against us and deeply hurt us.
You are God’s territory too. Love Incarnate, Christ Himself died and rose again to help us walk in one direction only: Towards Paradise, a realm where His Divine Intent and Divine Mercy for each soul is held in the palm of His Holy, nail scarred hands.
Blessings,
Kathryn Ann
