What does it mean to be a man?

[Vladi]

I’ll say that there is a place for the sales man, and the philosopher. To me, I’d rather women get in the mix too. We ought to take from the east and the west; likewise, I think we ought to take from the male and female. I’ve learned plenty from the female doctors of the Church.

I say pick your vocation and do it well. Families need their mothers and fathers. If you don’t want to dedicate the time to do it well, you may need to reflect on if you ought to get into the family business. As much as we need people to sale products, if your product is shoddy, what good is it that you are doing? The base is important, without a proper foundation anything “noble” is going to be mispositioned.

I can’t say I have learned a whole lot from women at least in terms of Philosophy. I am not sure exactly what you are getting at in the last paragraph but if your are suggesting we sell “shoddy” products you haven’t a clue. And we are not just sales men we are engineers, my Dad has several alloy patents.

 

[redsunrising]

A “real man” is a total sucker and fool.

 

[dedo]

A “real man” is a total sucker and fool.

There may be some truth to that, although perhaps not in the way you intended. The homily yesterday was about being willing to “be gullible” because we draw strength from Christ. The priest was suggesting that what we get from Jesus is courage, but that courage is to help us bear our “crosses” and still love one another.

I think “being a man” is a lifetime process. It is like a sport we want to always keep improving at. That means learning from people who do it well, and learning from the mistakes of others. So what is important is not just “where we are”, but what direction are we going. Are we getting better, standing still, or deteriorating?

A lot of the understanding of the “measuring stick” for “being a man” for me came from a song called “Maps” by a group called the “Yeah Yeah Yeah”, and the story behind it. I read that the song, which is a love song, was written by the lead singer, Karen O., to her boyfriend at the time. She wrote the song because she really wanted him to be there for an audition, and he just couldn’t make it. So she was not a priority for him. The relationship eventually ended. Karen went on to be a star, and her boyfriend’s career was much less successful. He basically let one of the most beautiful and amazing people in the music world slip through his fingers.

So the measuring stick for “manliness” is how a person treats his family. It is more than just passion and gifts, but a deep realization that every good thing in your life comes from your wife, and your children, if you have children. So, your actions reflect that in terms of showing appreciation, being there, building someone up, protecting her reputation, working hard at providing, and getting rid of bad habits. So in terms of what the priest was saying: we can only do these things if Jesus shows us the way and strengthens us.

So for me, the most “manly” thing I have ever done is the nicest thing I have done for my wife, and that is between us. I am always looking for examples of guys who do are better than me, so I can do better in the future.

We were reminiscing recently about our engagement. My wife thought I was going to “ask the question” that weekend. I asked her what she would have done had I “not asked”. She said she would have kept right on going.

And I believe that is the right answer.

So for the ladies, I think that your guy’s “manliness” is about how he treats you and is he improving himself for your benefit? Or is he dabbling in bad habits, afraid to commit, or being lazy? If so then keep right on going.

For the guys, its all about whether you are going to keep getting better, put your lady / children in front of everything else, and get rid of any problems. If you do these things you will earn the respect of other guys, including guys who might be really good at many “guy things”, in part because they may compensating for being not so good at other things, like relationships.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Please ignore the post that brought this thread up from the archives, it is merely trying to stir up controversy, and dissension.

The original thread is from 2008.

IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE

 

[dedo]

A “real man” is a total sucker and fool.

There may be some truth to that, although perhaps not in the way you intended. The homily yesterday was about being willing to “be gullible” because we draw strength from Christ. The priest was suggesting that what we get from Jesus is courage, but that courage is to help us bear our “crosses” and still love one another.

I think “being a man” is a lifetime process. It is like a sport we want to always keep improving at. That means learning from people who do it well, and learning from the mistakes of others. So what is important is not just “where we are”, but what direction are we going. Are we getting better, standing still, or deteriorating?

A lot of the understanding of the “measuring stick” for “being a man” for me came from a song called “Maps” by a group called the “Yeah Yeah Yeah”, and the story behind it. I read that the song, which is a love song, was written by the lead singer, Karen O., to her boyfriend at the time. She wrote the song because she really wanted him to be there for an audition, and he just couldn’t make it. So she was not a priority for him. The relationship eventually ended. Karen went on to be a star, and her boyfriend’s career was much less successful. He basically let one of the most beautiful and amazing people in the music world slip through his fingers.

So the measuring stick for “manliness” is how a person treats his family. It is more than just passion and gifts, but a deep realization that every good thing in your life comes from your wife, and your children, if you have children. So, your actions reflect that in terms of showing appreciation, being there, building someone up, protecting her reputation, working hard at providing, and getting rid of bad habits. So in terms of what the priest was saying: we can only do these things if Jesus shows us the way and strengthens us.

So for me, the most “manly” thing I have ever done is the nicest thing I have done for my wife, and that is between us. I am always looking for examples of guys who do are better than me, so I can do better in the future.

We were reminiscing recently about our engagement. My wife thought I was going to “ask the question” that weekend. I asked her what she would have done had I “not asked”. She said she would have kept right on going.

And I believe that is the right answer.

So for the ladies, I think that your guy’s “manliness” is about how he treats you and is he improving himself for your benefit? Or is he dabbling in bad habits, afraid to commit, or being lazy? If so then keep right on going.

For the guys, its all about whether you are going to keep getting better, put your lady / children in front of everything else, and get rid of any problems. If you do these things you will earn the respect of other guys, including guys who might be really good at many “guy things”, in part because they may compensating for being not so good at other things, like relationships. Also, realize that any time anyone takes time to teach you anything, it is because they see potential.