What does it mean to be jurgemental

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freesoulhope

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I had a freind that was talking about his brother being involved in things that indangered his life, i replied “why does your brother get himself involved in those dangerous sitiations”. my freind replyed in a angry manner " DONT JURGE MY BROTHER!, hes just made some bad choices in life thats all". He then went on to say how people have tryed to kill him for no apparent reason.

The reason i said what i said, was not intentionaly to jurge his brother. It was because i knew that when i was living a disordered and rebelious life stlye, these very same things where happening to me, but when i turned to jesus and “religious instruction” these things nolonger effected me, so i knew in my heart that it was due to the way he was living.

After my freind called me a judger, i felt guilty.
what my qeustion is, was i wrong to say what i said, or was i right? i dont want to be thought of as a jurdge, because i am also a sinner like his brother and everybody else on this planet. I did not mean to throw stones. :confused:
 
Here’s how to tell the difference:

IF you were genuinely concerned about the person’s welfare, it was not judging, it was love.

IF you found yourself disgusted with the person because of his sinful involvements, it was judgemental.

As you yourself have noted, we are all sinners. But genuine love regarding his welfare and helping him to leave a sinful life is not judging. Pray God will give your friend understanding of your true intentions.

Peace,
Brenda
 
Remember: you may always judge other people’s actions. In fact, Christ commands us to judge righteously what is right or wrong, good or evil.

Once you havejudged an act to be evil, it is not only acceptable to point this out to the person and try to correct them but it is important! For instance, read Ezekial 33:18.

It is not judging to say that a person should not do a certain act. Remember, the commandment not to judge is the commandment not to judge one’s heart and/or soul. This becomes more apparent in the greek than in the english. Many different greek words are translated simply as the english word “judge,” so the english doesn’t quite convey the meanings of the different words.

This is very often used as an excuse for people to excuse their behavior in our pluralist, anything goes society.
 
We are called to evangelize the world.

Someone pointed this out recently, that Vatican II made quite a point of emphasizing that lay responsibility. But, surely, it is something that we have not been trained in. To the contrary, religious institutions in the U.S. have been crumbling, resulting in the loss of many professed religious sisters and the well-stated low level of catechesis of now two generations of Catholics.

So, we’re not in good shape for coaching people. If we don’t handle it correctly, we can be accused of being judgmental. On an individual level, let me say, you may see snot, but you can’t say snot. You just have to offer someone a tissue.

I will offer the same advice I was given (too late in life). “Don’t kid yourself (insert your name here), it’s ALL personal.” People take everything you say personally.

There’s the “serenity” prayer of St. Francis (I think) that goes something like this " Lord grant me the help to change the things in life that I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference."

I have made my own life difficult spending too much time on the first one and not accepting the second one. I think it’s best to pray for all those things and get God involved.

Others can probably say it better than me, that you should go slow and easy with other people’s problems, unless there is immediate danger. Maybe the situation would improve if you could just offer some friendship as a starting point. Decide in advance when and how to get professional assistance, if that is an option.
 
People generally, think one is being judgemental, when they think your words are unkind. You may want to explain that you are concerned about that persons safety.
 
The most important thing to remember about saying things like this and trying to protect and build people up, especially in their Christian lives, is that you have to grow closer to people before you can really talk to people about this stuff. In other words, you will have much better success with people that you have some sort of a relationship with than you will with people you hardly know. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to help those you don’t know well, but you need to be a lot more diplomatic with them.

In your specific case, there is another factor. People become extremely protective of their families. This doesn’t mean that they want to excuse them for doing bad things so much as it means that they often have a wall they have to get over before they can see the bad things their family members are involved in and/or doing. This sounds very much like a case of denial, which is very common in this sort of a family situtation. The fellow you spoke to sounds like he knows what his brother is into, and he knows that it is dangerous, so he is soo scared for his brother that he begisn to deny it. You know how some people don’t want to go to the Dr. when they have a problem because they have gotten the attitude that if they go and the Dr. tells them they have something, then they’ve “got it,” but if they don’t go they’re fine? It’s extremely similar. This man sounds like he has the idea that, basically, if he acknowledges that his brother is into dangerous stuff, that somehow it makes it true that he is, but if he doesn’t acknowledge it, everything will be fine.

This is a very dangerous attitude because it prevents people from getting the help they need. But what you MUST realize is that the person denying things is not doing so in a way that means he is being a jerk or stubborn. It means he is hurting and scared. You must have compassion on this person and help him to overcome his fears, and to realize that he can help his brother, before you can help the brother or suggest to this man that the brother needs help. It is a very difficult situation. You must pray, that is definite. I would also recommend discussing it with a priest (without perhaps giving to much information on the identity of the people involved of course) or someone you know who may know something about psychology.
 
The problem is that most people equte judging with condemning. We do not have the right nor authority to condemn. However, to judge is necessary if we are to perform the spiritual works of mercy.
 
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mosher:
The problem is that most people equte judging with condemning. We do not have the right nor authority to condemn. However, to judge is necessary if we are to perform the spiritual works of mercy.
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This is a great point, especially when we consider the Greek that the New Testament uses when talking about judging. The passages which speak against judging use a Greek word which more or less means to judge a persons eternal destination. The passages which speak in favor of judging use various Greek words which more or less refer to discerning between good and evil.
 
Hello, I Was Really Struck by This Expressing of being called jugemental. I Believe it"s Satans Way of backing us in a corner ,to play a mind game of not calling a sin a sin. We Are all Sinners(Get Over It) This Constant denial of sin is why souls are lost ,if we are going to bring souls to Christ we need to Tell The truth in season and out ,convieniant or not.Mother Angelica always said if you love your neighbor and he was going to walk in front of a train would you say “Oh,pardon me I Don"t Wish to be Judgemental,I certainly would not like to impose my Perception of reality on you,But Oh ,do you see that train coming at you at 150 miles an hour ,well …NO YOU PUSH THEM OUT OF THE WAY!This Relativistic sentimentality has gotton so far out of hand you can barely dicipline your child without worrying"Will He Be Traumatized if I ask Him To Take Out The Garbage!)” Give Me A Break. If Some one had the Guts to Tell me The Truth about the MAJOR sinning I Was Doing in The past,it might have saved me a lot of unecessary disruptions in my life’ Like Father Corapi always says"IF They"re going to slide in to HELL ,it won"t be because I Was to afraid to try and warn them"I am so tired of all the cotton candy approach to saving our brother and sisters. DO YOU THINK the DEVIL is going to be worried about “Hurting Your Feelings when he has your soul for all eternity?” We Are in a WAR people,LEAD ,move or get sifted like wheat! And I Say This Alll The Love Of A Mother Lioness Protecting Her Cubs. YOU AIN"T TAKING MINE WITHOUT A FIGHT!!! With Much Love,Mercy7
 
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