What does "Love believes all things" mean?

  • Thread starter Thread starter stellatum
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

stellatum

Guest
There’s a compulsive liar in my life. When she tells me some dramatic story (for example, of some past ill-treatment), I don’t react with the kind of emotion I would show to someone trustworthy because I can’t tell if the story is true or not. It may be – some of her stories are true – but I’ve been taken in in the past. To react so coldly to a person whose story I didn’t doubt would certainly be a sin against charity. Does “love believes all things” mean that I should give her the benefit of the doubt and respond as if I believed her?

I know that in practical matters I must be prudent, and not act on any information she gives me. But in simple emotional matters, I feel stuck. Either way it seems wrong. If I react with sympathy, indignation, etc., I feel like an idiot, and maybe even dishonest. If I react coldly, I feel cruel. Neither way feels morally clean. What does St. Paul mean, anyway? Thanks. (PS: I have explained to her many times how her history of lying has affected me.)
 
St. Paul’s dictum “Love believes all things” doesn’t compel Christians to be suckers. In context, Paul is discussing the theological virtues of faith, hope, and love (cf. 1 Cor. 13). They are the qualities necessary for salvation, and “love believes all things” is a statement that Christian love has steadfast faith in God. This faith is not a blind faith, but is based upon reason (cf. CCC 156-159). Faith in God is never misplaced because theological faith and scientific reason, if properly understood and kept in balance, will never contradict each other.

Your friend, on the other hand, has contradicted reason by lying to you and then presumably expecting you to continue believing her and giving her the sympathy due an honest person. If you have tried to talk to her about her lying and it has had no effect, then it is a kindness and not a cruelty to allow her to face the consequences of her actions.

One logical consequence of repeatedly telling false stories is to no longer have an audience for those stories. The next time she launches into a story you have reason to believe may be false, cut her off with a firm “I’m sorry, but I’m not the right person for you to talk to about that” and change the subject. If it will make you feel better, you might gentle it by adding, “I really think you need to talk to a priest or counselor instead.” But hold firm and don’t let her tell you more. My favorite technique for doing this is to imagine myself as a broken record.

**Recommended reading:

**God Help Me! These People Are Driving Me Nuts by Gregory K. Popcak
When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People by Leonard Felder
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top