What Does My Mother Do To Join the Church?

[betsy_suzanne]

Hello everyone. I have a question that I hope someone can help me with. My husband and I, with our children, joined the Catholic Church over 6 years ago. My mother is Southern Baptist and has always been terribly anti-Catholic. Matter of fact, for a time she was horrible to us about it. However, back in May she was diagnosed with terminal pancreas cancer and told that she would die in 6 months to a year. Her own pastor has not called or come to see her nor answered my repeated calls. As of late she has shown an interest in the Catholic faith; asking questions and all. I have been reading to her from an little booklet called Pillar of Fire Pillar of Truth every night along with her Bible (she always asks me to read out of her Bible.), and letting her know the peace she would find in joining the Church and being able to have our priest bring her Communion and pray for her daily. I also talk to her about having our priest give her the Annointing of the Sick and help her as she leaves this earthly world for the next; to be there with her to annoint her and pray with her and over her. Anyway, I am hopeful and I pray everyday that our Lord will guide her to the Catholic faith so that she can receive the Sacraments before she dies. My question is this, she is house bound and at times bed fast; unable to get out. It is all I can do to get her to her doctor appointments. How will she be able to join the Church and receive the Sacraments if she can not attend RCIA? Because she is near her time, is there another way for her to receive Holy Communion, Confirmation, and the Sacrament of the Annointing of the Sick? She also can not wait until Easter. I don’t think that she will be with us that long. And can she have a Catholic Funeral Mass when she dies? I really am having a hard time with the thought of losing my mother at all, but it is all the more difficult knowing that she is not Catholic and will not be receiving the Sacraments at her death. I have been praying for years everyday that she come to the Church, but lately I have been praying ALL day that same prayer. Thank you so much for any help in this matter.

In Christ,
Betsy

 

[Gem]

Hi Betsy,

I’m so sorry that your mother is suffering so. But maybe this is a grace in that it gives you and her time to discuss each other’s faith more intimately.

The fact that your mother has a terminal illness throws all the normal rules out the window. She can absolutely convert, make a confession, receive communion and and be anointed without leaving her bed. Please talk to her about this possibility. If she agrees, talk to your preist quickly about it. He will come right away.

I will pray for your mother and for your family that the Lord’s grace will be poured on you during this difficult time.

Gem

 

[YADA]

Hi Betsy,

I’m so sorry that your mother is suffering so. But maybe this is a grace in that it gives you and her time to discuss each other’s faith more intimately.

The fact that your mother has a terminal illness throws all the normal rules out the window. She can absolutely convert, make a confession, receive communion and and be anointed without leaving her bed. Please talk to her about this possibility. If she agrees, talk to your preist quickly about it. He will come right away.

I will pray for your mother and for your family that the Lord’s grace will be poured on you during this difficult time.

Gem

I am praying for your mother and for you. Jesus will comfort you both, and I am sure you will both know his love and peace. My mother too is vey anti-catholic but alas I do not see this blessing in my life - though I pray for her. She has developed a renewed interest in faith and I try to find that a blessing … I just wish it was not so anti-catholic …

Ditto - this post above - they will have someone come to her for whatever instruction is deemed necessary … Also, did you know that if a person has been recieved at the Rite of Election and dies before the Easter Reception of Sacraments they will be given a Catholic Funeral … their participation in the Rite of Election is a witness to the seriousness of their committemnt and intentions …

So yes, the Church will receive your mother in the manner appropriate for her physical state …

We had a woman in our RCIA a few years back, who was diagnosed with cancer early in the process … she attended RCIA sessions until she was unable to, then our priest and pastoral associate worked with her individually … sadly she died before Easter but our priest was able to hear her Confession, bestow the Sacraments of Confirmation and Eucharist before she died …she had a full Funeral Mass …

FYI, her son had come into the Church a couple of years before … he is now a Catholic Priest … he entered the seminary a couple of years after she died … God orks in mysterious ways

 

[JRKH]

Hi Betsy,

I’m so sorry that your mother is suffering so. But maybe this is a grace in that it gives you and her time to discuss each other’s faith more intimately.

The fact that your mother has a terminal illness throws all the normal rules out the window. She can absolutely convert, make a confession, receive communion and and be anointed without leaving her bed. Please talk to her about this possibility. If she agrees, talk to your preist quickly about it. He will come right away.

I will pray for your mother and for your family that the Lord’s grace will be poured on you during this difficult time.

Gem

This is wonderful advise, but I would offer a slight change or alternative.

Please talk to your priest as quickly as possible. He will be able to let you know of any particulars AND he will likely agree to come and visit your mother informally to pray, answer questions and offer spiritual support. If your mother likes the priest, it may well ease her concerns about converting and confessing etc.

Peace
James

 

[betsy_suzanne]

Thank you all so much for the words of encouragment ! And I ask for prayers for my family and especially her. Before she found out she was terminally ill and moved in with me and my family, she used to go to McDonald’s every morning and have coffee and breakfast with a group of older people. One of those people was the parish priest at the church that we attended before we moved. She and Father Ed had become really good friends (even though she didn’t agree with him theologically), and he has since been here to our home to see her and have supper with us on several occasions. I just now called and left a messege for him to call me back. I am going to talk with him to see if there is a better way to convience her to join the Catholic Faith and not wait too long about it. I have a feeling that he will want to come and talk with her himself. She is still resistant, but less so, and I have tried to explain to her the peace that comes with receiving daily Communion and having someone to come and pray with her daily (or as often as she likes). I have planted a seed and now I am waiting for God to grow it and nurture it, so I pray constantly ! Have a wonderful and blessed day everyone !

In Christ,
Betsy

 

[Musician]

Praying for your mother to convert!!!

 

[Erich]

God orks in mysterious ways

Hmm, in answer to all the “do animals go to heaven” threads… I guess this means there must at least be cows in heaven

 

[John_Lilburne]

Additional information is in the RCIA introductions for England and Wales at catholic-ew.org.uk/liturgy/Resources/Rites/RiteRitual.html#RCIA . I think the section that is most relevant to this case is page 39, n. 387-399, “5 RECEPTION OF BAPTISED CHRISTIANS INTO THE FULL COMMUNION OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH”.

Some extracts:
“391 The baptised Christian is to receive both doctrinal and spiritual preparation, adapted to
individual pastoral requirements, for reception into the full communion of the Catholic
Church. …”
“393 The sacrament of baptism cannot be repeated and therefore it is not permitted to confer
it again conditionally, unless there is a reasonable doubt about the fact or validity of the
baptism already conferred. …”
“394 It is the office of the bishop to receive baptised Christians into the full communion of the
Catholic Church. But a priest to whom the bishop entrusts the celebration of the rite has
the faculty of confirming the candidate within the rite of reception,6 unless the person
received has already been validly confirmed.”

 

[JRKH]

Thank you all so much for the words of encouragment ! And I ask for prayers for my family and especially her. Before she found out she was terminally ill and moved in with me and my family, she used to go to McDonald’s every morning and have coffee and breakfast with a group of older people. One of those people was the parish priest at the church that we attended before we moved. She and Father Ed had become really good friends (even though she didn’t agree with him theologically), and he has since been here to our home to see her and have supper with us on several occasions. I just now called and left a messege for him to call me back. I am going to talk with him to see if there is a better way to convience her to join the Catholic Faith and not wait too long about it. I have a feeling that he will want to come and talk with her himself. She is still resistant, but less so, and I have tried to explain to her the peace that comes with receiving daily Communion and having someone to come and pray with her daily (or as often as she likes). I have planted a seed and now I am waiting for God to grow it and nurture it, so I pray constantly ! Have a wonderful and blessed day everyone !

In Christ,
Betsy

This is excellent!!. I’m sure that Father Ed will be just the one to help her. They know each other and won’t have to “get to know” each other. they will be much better able to talk. Whether she finally converts or not, she will have good solid spiritual councilling and so will you.

Unrelated question. I don’t know where you are but your OP said that she is mainly bedridden. Has hospice been called in? My mother used a Hospice when my dad was dying from Alzheimers. She kept him at home and they provided many services which were wonderful and helpful to may mother.
Just a thought.

Peace
James

 

[YADA]

Hmm, in answer to all the “do animals go to heaven” threads… I guess this means there must at least be cows in heaven

and hopefully no typing tests … :doh2:

 

[betsy_suzanne]

Hello James. No, we have not gotten hospice yet. For the last 5 months she has been on chemotherapy to help with pain and to extend her life. Doctors told us that without the chemo she would have a matter of weeks possibly a couple months and 6 months to a year with chemo. For the first three months her pain was well controlled and she was doing very well. The last two months have been progressively worse. We had a CT two weeks ago and will see the oncologist this Thursday to discuss where to go from here with either treatment or he may suggest hospice.

I talked to Father Ed about 2 hours ago and he told me to call him as soon as we got home after seeing the doctor Thursday and he would come right away. He also said that in addition to praying with her he would talk with her about converting and receiving the sacraments. I am keeping prayerful vigil for this intention. I feel alot like the persistant women in scripture. Hopefully it will bear fruit and she will take that important step. With God ALL things are possible !!! Thank you for your prayers and please continue to pray for her ! God bless you and yours.

In Christ,
Betsy

 

[JRKH]

Hello James. No, we have not gotten hospice yet. For the last 5 months she has been on chemotherapy to help with pain and to extend her life. Doctors told us that without the chemo she would have a matter of weeks possibly a couple months and 6 months to a year with chemo. For the first three months her pain was well controlled and she was doing very well. The last two months have been progressively worse. We had a CT two weeks ago and will see the oncologist this Thursday to discuss where to go from here with either treatment or he may suggest hospice.

If the Doc does not suggest hospice, you might want to ask him anyway to get an opinion and/or suggestion of who to call. While we had a wonderful experience with Hospice I have heard that not all of them are as good as the one we used. Anyway, even if the Doctor doesn’t think hospice is appropriate yet I would suggest contacting them and having an in home evaluation done. It will give you the information you need for when you do need them.

I talked to Father Ed about 2 hours ago and he told me to call him as soon as we got home after seeing the doctor Thursday and he would come right away. He also said that in addition to praying with her he would talk with her about converting and receiving the sacraments. I am keeping prayerful vigil for this intention. I feel alot like the persistant women in scripture. Hopefully it will bear fruit and she will take that important step. With God ALL things are possible !!!

You are like the persistant woman and there is nothing wrong with that. The most important thing to do now is to surround your mother with all the love and care you can.

Thank you for your prayers and please continue to pray for her ! God bless you and yours.

In Christ,
Betsy

Keep us posted

Peace
James

 

[puzzleannie]

will she be able to join the Church and receive the Sacraments if she can not attend RCIA? Because she is near her time, is there another way for her to receive Holy Communion, Confirmation, and the Sacrament of the Annointing of the Sick? She also can not wait until Easter. I don’t think that she will be with us that long. And can she have a Catholic Funeral Mass when she dies? In Christ,
Betsy

call you Catholic pastor or the Catholic chaplain of the hospital immediately and explain the situation, and ask him to come or have a priest visit her. All he needs to do if she is in danger of death, as you say, or even gravely ill where this is a possibility, is to talk to her and ascertain her wishes. If she wants she can give her confession and be confirmed immediately and receive Holy Communion. Please talk to your priest today. Even if it is God’s will that she dies before this can happen, explain the situation to your parish priest, because she will be presumed to have desired the sacraments, she can have a Catholic funeral. Please call your priest NOW don’t wait until the last minute. Make sure you talk to a priest, not the secretary, and that it is a priest who comes, not a deacon, sister or lay minister.

Ah I see you have talked to Father Ed, good for you what a loving child to do this for your mother. We will all be praying.

 

[Cider]

I’m praying for your mother and family. I think it must have been in Gods plan that your mother get to know and become friends with Father Ed. It is wonderful that she has a priest she knows and likes at this time, praying that she is received into the Church.

 

[betsy_suzanne]

Hello everyone. Mother made her Profession of Faith about two weeks ago. Bless her heart, but she was in agony and could not recieve the Sacrament of Holy Communion at that time. Father Vu (The pastor of our parish.) came every day for the last week. He was the last person to speak with her coherently on Friday. Of course he could not relay what she said to him or him to her, but he reassured our family that she was indeed ready to die. I am almost certain that she was able to make her confession and recieve just a drop of the Precious Blood on her tounge (This is what Father said would take place if possible). Thank you all for the prayers for my mother. She passed away Monday night after a long and agonizing battle with pancreas cancer. We had her funeral Mass yesterday afternoon. Is it not true that if a person makes a good confession and recieves even a tiny drop of the Precious Blood before they die that they will go straight to heaven? Of course I will still pray for her soul daily and ask others to as well, but I do know that she is at the very least in purgatory and is heaven bound. Thank God for His wonderful mercy!

In Christ,
Betsy

 

[Marysann]

I am so sorry to hear that your mother has passed away, but it must be such a comfort to you that she died in the Church. My mother also converted shortly before she died, and it was the answer to a lifetime of prayers by my father, sisters, and brother. If your mother received the last rites, which she probably did since she had priests visiting her often, she probably received the Apostolic Pardon with a plenary indulgence which would assure her going straight to heaven. If not, she had just made a good confession, and I am sure that the priests encouraged her to offer her sufferings to the Lord. I think that people who suffer from cancer and other painful illnesses are living their purgatory right here on earth. Even though your mother may be in heaven, please don’t not pray and offer Masses for her soul. They will help her if she needs them, and if she doesn’t God will use them to help another soul. That soul will not forget to pray for you when you are in need. Thank you for letting us know about your mother so that we can pray for her, for you and for your family.

 

[JRKH]

Praise be to God for the Joy that your mother’s conversion must give your heart in the midst of your grief.

I cannot add anything to what Marysann wrote but will simply offer up a quick prayer for your mothers soul.

Eternal rest grant unto her oh Lord,
And let perpetual light shine upon her.
May her soul and all the souls of the faithful departed,
Through the Mercy of God rest in peace.
Amen

Peace
James

 

[Regi]

Wow, I am in tears reading this - how wonderful and beautiful that you were able to help your mother to do this - it is an inspiring story.

I will pray for your family and for the repose of her soul. God bless you!