J
John-the-Seeker
Guest
Hi,
I, a craddle Catholic, never ‘left the church’ as far as joining another denomination, but I did get ‘mad at God’ and stopped attending on a regular basis. This came about because I had married a woman had 6 children from a previous abusive relationship, (not marriage), with one man. We were married, against my family’s wishes and strong opposition, in the Catholic Church after she had taken instruction in the Faith.
After a few years getting the family, now grown to 9 children to church, on time, became a losing battle. There were pitched battles in the church parking lot about going in late. I would wind up, not going in to church, driving away angry.
About that time my brother-in-law said to me,“Jack, I don’t know anyone who walks and talks their religion as much as you do and gets sh**t on as much as you do! Look at me. I don’t pray. I don’t go to church and nothing happens to me. But look at you. If there is a black cloud around any where within 10 miles, it will be over your head. I don’t know why you go to church!”
I thought,“He’s right. Maybe I’m wrong. Six of them are not even my kids. I, knowingly, gave up a potentially prosperous future to raise another man’s kids for what? To be yelled at? To have everyone mad at me for insisting on Church? The hell with it. God, they’re Your children, not mine, if you want us in church, You get us there!” With this I quit going to church regularly and started living a more hedonistic life style.
I have an older sister who died at the age of 9 months many years before I was born. I always felt close to her, to me, she ‘was family’ and because of her age, and the sacrament of Baptism, in Heaven.
Shortly after my decision to ‘let God take care of His own instead of just sitting back in his easy chair, making up impossible to keep rules called the 10 commandments while laughing at us fools for trying to keep them, I received a visitor.
For some reason, I felt the visitor was my older deceased sister. The visitor came as a voice without sound, without gender in my head,
It said,"Jack, you have to get your family back to Church. You don’t know how greatly you are offending God.’
My response was,“Say what? Who’s offending who? I’m not offending God, God is offending me!”
The voice gently, sadly responded,“No you have it wrong. It is you who is offending God and if you do not get your family back to Church they will suffer much.”
My response? “Will I suffer?”
“No, not like your family while suffer. Your suffering will come because you will know why they are suffering and they will not believe you.”
“If I don’t change things now, will I be able to fix it later?”, I asked, still in my heart mad at God.
With much sadness in the ‘tone’ I heard,“Yes, but it will be much, much harder and I will not be able to come back to visit you any more.”
My response was,“Fine! I’ll wait.” and I went to sleep.
For the next fifteen years I attended church when and if I felt like it. Never went to confession and received Holy communion in a state of mortal sin many times. My family had myriad problems! Drugs, alchohol, abortions, criminal charges, financial!
In 1991, my mother started going to a place called Marmora, to pray. I would ask her why she was going there and she would reply,“It is a little Medjugorje” and I would say,“A little Medju what? What is a litlle medju whatever you said?” and she would just smile and say nothing.
Then I broke my arm. Had to have surgery to transplant a bone from my hip my wrist. This was the beginning of my return to the sacraments!
Around this time my mother, all breathless and excited said to me,“Jack, you will never guess what happened to me in Church today! God spoke to me and asked me to take two busloads of people to Marmora and I want you to help me.”
“Oh no,” I thought, "shades of Jimmy Jones and the suicide cult. These poor pathetic people who just have to feel that somehow, ‘they are closer to God’ and better than others, called to some ‘special mission’ who get caught up in these things. Don’t they know that they have everything they need, right here, in the Catholic Church? Don’t they know that Jesus said, ‘Where two or more are gathered in my name there am I also?’ But to para-phrase Nepolion who, I believe, said,‘I came. I saw. I conquered’, I thought,“I won’t say anything, I’ll go. I’ll see. I’ll condemn.”
This is already now too long a post, so let me say,"I went. I saw, (things I never expected to experience). I was conquered. Not all at once but this started my return back to the Church, her teachings and her sacraments.
I, a craddle Catholic, never ‘left the church’ as far as joining another denomination, but I did get ‘mad at God’ and stopped attending on a regular basis. This came about because I had married a woman had 6 children from a previous abusive relationship, (not marriage), with one man. We were married, against my family’s wishes and strong opposition, in the Catholic Church after she had taken instruction in the Faith.
After a few years getting the family, now grown to 9 children to church, on time, became a losing battle. There were pitched battles in the church parking lot about going in late. I would wind up, not going in to church, driving away angry.
About that time my brother-in-law said to me,“Jack, I don’t know anyone who walks and talks their religion as much as you do and gets sh**t on as much as you do! Look at me. I don’t pray. I don’t go to church and nothing happens to me. But look at you. If there is a black cloud around any where within 10 miles, it will be over your head. I don’t know why you go to church!”
I thought,“He’s right. Maybe I’m wrong. Six of them are not even my kids. I, knowingly, gave up a potentially prosperous future to raise another man’s kids for what? To be yelled at? To have everyone mad at me for insisting on Church? The hell with it. God, they’re Your children, not mine, if you want us in church, You get us there!” With this I quit going to church regularly and started living a more hedonistic life style.
I have an older sister who died at the age of 9 months many years before I was born. I always felt close to her, to me, she ‘was family’ and because of her age, and the sacrament of Baptism, in Heaven.
Shortly after my decision to ‘let God take care of His own instead of just sitting back in his easy chair, making up impossible to keep rules called the 10 commandments while laughing at us fools for trying to keep them, I received a visitor.
For some reason, I felt the visitor was my older deceased sister. The visitor came as a voice without sound, without gender in my head,
It said,"Jack, you have to get your family back to Church. You don’t know how greatly you are offending God.’
My response was,“Say what? Who’s offending who? I’m not offending God, God is offending me!”
The voice gently, sadly responded,“No you have it wrong. It is you who is offending God and if you do not get your family back to Church they will suffer much.”
My response? “Will I suffer?”
“No, not like your family while suffer. Your suffering will come because you will know why they are suffering and they will not believe you.”
“If I don’t change things now, will I be able to fix it later?”, I asked, still in my heart mad at God.
With much sadness in the ‘tone’ I heard,“Yes, but it will be much, much harder and I will not be able to come back to visit you any more.”
My response was,“Fine! I’ll wait.” and I went to sleep.
For the next fifteen years I attended church when and if I felt like it. Never went to confession and received Holy communion in a state of mortal sin many times. My family had myriad problems! Drugs, alchohol, abortions, criminal charges, financial!
In 1991, my mother started going to a place called Marmora, to pray. I would ask her why she was going there and she would reply,“It is a little Medjugorje” and I would say,“A little Medju what? What is a litlle medju whatever you said?” and she would just smile and say nothing.
Then I broke my arm. Had to have surgery to transplant a bone from my hip my wrist. This was the beginning of my return to the sacraments!
Around this time my mother, all breathless and excited said to me,“Jack, you will never guess what happened to me in Church today! God spoke to me and asked me to take two busloads of people to Marmora and I want you to help me.”
“Oh no,” I thought, "shades of Jimmy Jones and the suicide cult. These poor pathetic people who just have to feel that somehow, ‘they are closer to God’ and better than others, called to some ‘special mission’ who get caught up in these things. Don’t they know that they have everything they need, right here, in the Catholic Church? Don’t they know that Jesus said, ‘Where two or more are gathered in my name there am I also?’ But to para-phrase Nepolion who, I believe, said,‘I came. I saw. I conquered’, I thought,“I won’t say anything, I’ll go. I’ll see. I’ll condemn.”
This is already now too long a post, so let me say,"I went. I saw, (things I never expected to experience). I was conquered. Not all at once but this started my return back to the Church, her teachings and her sacraments.
I