What exactly is 'coveting?'

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If I drive through my neighborhood and admire someone’s landscaping, and want to have something like that applied to my own property, is that coveting?

Is every desire sinful? Is there a difference between wanting and coveting?

Part of why I ask is an ongoing struggle to define it—but also I saw a brief interview on Book TV about a man (an admitted secularist) who tried to ‘live a Biblical life.’

I think his whole intent was to mock the Bible and religion (“Ha-ha, look at those silly outmoded rules and how ridiculous I’ve made myself!”), but he mentioned covetousness over and over.
 
Sailor_Kenshin said:
If I drive through my neighborhood and admire someone’s landscaping, and want to have something like that applied to my own property, is that coveting?

Is every desire sinful? Is there a difference between wanting and coveting?

Part of why I ask is an ongoing struggle to define it—but also I saw a brief interview on Book TV about a man (an admitted secularist) who tried to ‘live a Biblical life.’

I think his whole intent was to mock the Bible and religion (“Ha-ha, look at those silly outmoded rules and how ridiculous I’ve made myself!”), but he mentioned covetousness over and over.
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To covet something… is to desire, eagerly… that which belongs to another. To want the very thing, which is owned by another. (i.e. “he/she has a cool car, I want it”).

I don’t think that admiring the beauty of someone’s land scaping, and then wondering if you could replicate it in your own yard… would be the same thing. Hope this helps. God bless. 🙂
 
I agree with MarieVeronica - but am hoping someone can detail/elaborate on this for us…Where does the line get drawn between admiring / wishing for something of our neighbor’s - and the sin of coveting?
GOOD QUESTION.
 
One way to „covet“ is to entertain the thought that the other guy got the break you deserved. „But it‘s true!!“ we protest. Only Our Lord, and life within His will, is Truth. Envy, however justified by normal human standards, can eat you up alive.
 
Sailor_Kenshin said:
If I drive through my neighborhood and admire someone’s landscaping, and want to have something like that applied to my own property, is that coveting?
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No. Getting idea from others and applying it is not coveting.
Is every desire sinful? Is there a difference between wanting and coveting?
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Not every desire is sinful. There is a difference between wanting and coveting.
Dang71’s dictionary explanation said it. The key words are “desire wrongfully”.

There is an example happened recently made me wonder if there is any essence of coveting in it:

When one of my sisters learned that our family is taking a vacation to certain place that she has not visited, she literally got mad at me over the phone. Then she talked to my other sister about it and complained. Then she would not call me as before. When I called her, she sounds different.
 
You can admire something and appreciate it - that is not sinful. But to see it, want it, and not be grateful for what you DO have, that is to covet.

I have a hard time with this myself. Especially given the current economy. I would very much like to move (can’t sell anything right now), would like a different job (need to be very grateful that I have a very good one already).

~Liza
 
To covert is to have an inordinate desire for the property of another, an to work toward getting it, even through legal means.

A case in point, is old common law, as we have here in Massacusetts.

Under common law, which is still in place here in MA, a person who doesn’t use his property, for whatever reason, can lose the property to an abutting property owner, should the abutter take possession through usage,(farm, roadway, etc) for 20 years.

A guy I know, built a brand new house, on his property. 20 yards of his property was on the other side of a stone wall, where his neighbor had planted a garden there. The neighbor had verbal permission from the original land owner. The neighbor came to him and asked if he could continue to garden on that property. The land owner gave verbal permission, but told the neighbor that he would need to take down the stone wall, and have access to the property behind my house, when it comes time to pump the septic system. It was merely a verbal exchange between the two, and apparently the neighbor knew exactly what he was doing. After 3 years, the property owner knew he’d be pumping his septic system out that year, so he told the neighbor, not to plant his garden, and that he would be taking down the stone wall and taking use of the property. The neighbor refused and told him if he stepped foot on that land, he’d have him arrested, which he in fact did. This all ended up in court, and the neighbor, because he had used the land for 20 years, without an official notice to desist, he became the owner of it. The property owner, even though he paid taxes on the land, had no recourse and lost the land to the neighbor.

This is a case of the neighbor, coveting his neighbors goods.

BTW, this same common law which goes back to the days of the Salem Witch Trials, and was really the reason behind the event turning out as it did. It was a land grab, by neighbors coveting their neighbors property, through use of the law.

Jim
 
Thanks, all. This is extremely helpful, would love to hear others weigh in.
 
I think coveting has more to do with attitude and not appreciating another person’s effort and skills…

Let’s say you see your neighbor’s yard and you begin to complain about how he has everything, it is unfair, my yard could look like his yard if I had the money etc.

Or, you drive by his yard and you say to yourself, what a beautiful yard, he must work very hard to create such beauty for me to appreciate. I would like to do that as well. You take nothing from your neighbor and you give him praise for his effort.
 
If I have doubts about anything on the moral front, I put it to Father in Confession. The opportunity is then present for Father to ask questions about the personal and particular circumstance I may be unsure of and to respond to me based on that personal and particular information…Blessings - Barb:)
 
IMO, admiration crosses over into covetousness when a person gets angry or upset because someone else has something they want for themselves. By being upset over someone else’s good fortune, they are turning their backs on the gifts and blessings they already have – as well as on the Giver of these gifts. If my neighbor gets a new car, I can admire it and even wish I could have a new car, too, and that isn’t a sin. But if I get resentful over the fact that they are driving a new car and I’m still driving the same one I’ve had for the last 7 years and am not in a position to buy a new one, then I am coveting, and that is a sin. I should instead be thankful that I have an older car that still runs…and no car payment! 🙂
 
Hmm… I do a lot of “Oooo, purdy!” when I see nicely landscaped yards, but that doesn’t make me think the homeowner got ‘breaks’ that I didn’t, or in any way want to take away from him. Maybe I notice this stuff more because we’re on a home-improvement kick, and this property was neglected for so long.

I think I can honestly say I don’t do the restentment thing— except for people who seem to have happy families. Then I do experience a brief and very unhappy flash of “Why not me.” It’s more along the lines of pain and longing. I’m aware of it, though, and try either to control it or tell myself that my path is not the same as theirs.

This is a lot to think about.
 
I suppose it would’ve been helpful if we started with the
Catholic Encyclopedia;
Covetousness
Generally, an unreasonable desire for what we do not possess. In this sense, it differs from concupiscence only in the implied notion of non-possession, and thus may cover all things which are sought after inordinately. Classified under this general head, we may have covetousness of honours, or pride; of the flesh, or concupiscence properly so called; of riches, or covetousness proper (Latin avaritia), or avarice. When covetousness of the flesh or of wealth has for its object that which is already the lawful possession of another, it falls under the ban of the Ninth or Tenth Commandment of God; and such desires, wilfully indulged, partake, as we are told by the Lord (Matthew 5), in their malice, of the nature of the external acts themselves. For he who deliberately desires the possession of another manUs lawful wife or goods has already in his heart committed the sin of adultery or theft. In its specific meaning, covetousness looks to riches in themselves, whether of money or of property, whether possessed or not, and pertains less to their acquisition than to their possession or accumulation. Thus defined, it is numbered among the sins which are called capital, because it is, as St. Paul says (1 Timothy 6), a radix omnium peccatorum.
newadvent.org/cathen/04462a.htm
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Jim
 
I agree with the others - it’s unreasonably wanting something, or begrudging someone for having what you can’t.

A couple of examples from my life (I think I’m guilty of covetousness):

I see a scooter, and I think to myself, “Ooh, I’d like a scooter for my commute to work when I move next month” - not coveting.

I see a scooter, and I think to myself, “I really want that scooter. How come I can never afford a scooter like that? The person who bought it probably bought it on their credit card and is racking up debt, though” - that’s coveting (and I think there’s a little pride mixed in.)

My friend got married, and is (obviously) living with her husband. I wish I could get married and have a lifestyle like hers, but I’m happy for her. - not coveting

My friend got married, and is living with her husband. I wish I could get married too. When she complains at me that her husband had to work late and hasn’t been home for dinner all week, I’m secretly pleased that married life isn’t all she hoped it would be, even though I still want it for myself. - I think that’s coveting.

Yeah, I think I need to work on that.
 
Sailor_Kenshin said:
Thanks, all. This is extremely helpful, would love to hear others weigh in.
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Coveting is wanting something that rightfully belongs to someone else, to which you have no right of possession, and desiring that the other person not have it.

Paragraphs 2534-40 of the Catechism discuss this*.*
 
Sailor_Kenshin said:
I think I can honestly say I don’t do the resentment thing— except for people who seem to have happy families. Then I do experience a brief and very unhappy flash of “Why not me.”
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The operative word here is seem to have happy families. I don’t know of one single family that doesn’t have its share of problems, sorrows, and pain, although many people go to great lengths to put on a show to the outside world that everything is blissful and perfect. And if they happen to be enjoying one of those seasons of life when everything truly **is **smooth sailing and all is well, you may rest assured that this is only temporary, as long as we live in this fallen world.
 
CarrieH said:
The operative word here is seem to have happy families. I don’t know of one single family that doesn’t have its share of problems, sorrows, and pain, although many people go to great lengths to put on a show to the outside world that everything is blissful and perfect. And if they happen to be enjoying one of those seasons of life when everything truly **is **smooth sailing and all is well, you may rest assured that this is only temporary, as long as we live in this fallen world.
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Maybe I should have said ‘loving…’
 
Sailor_Kenshin said:
Maybe I should have said ‘loving…’
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The resentment toward those who seem to have what you are lacking in family relationships sounds more like envy than covetousness, IMHO. But as you said in an earlier post, you are aware of these feelings and are reminding yourself that you have a different path in life. You are human after all, and it’s perfectly normal to wish to have a loving and happy family. As long as you dismiss those envious feelings when they come around, there is no sin, but if you entertain those thoughts, that’s another matter, just like with any other “wrong” thoughts or temptations. FWIW, I know what it’s like to grow up in a dysfunctional family, and I too have struggled with these issues. It helps me to keep in mind the Prayer of St. Francis, and when the feelings of hurt and self-pity arise, to offer those feelings up for the healing of those family members who have mistreated me. As they say in the psych/self-help circles, “hurting people hurt people.” and those family members who mistreat us are acting out of their own pain, sin, and ignorance; it’s not about us, it’s about them. Maybe reflecting on this will help you, too? God bless you.
 
Thank you! Funnily enough, after I went to bed, I kept thinking, “Envy! I meant envy! Dohhhh!” 😃

God bless you as well.
 
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