What exactly is "lusting in your heart"

[jean8]

It is perfectally ok to look at someone and appreciate their beauty, as God created the human body. But to take it any further than that is very dangerous. We have to look at everyone with the beauty that God created us in, whether it is exterior or interior.,…“what ever you do unto the least of my brothers you do unto me” … Satan is constantly luring and tricking us into falling into a lustful thoughts, so one must disipline themselves, one by praying to the Holy Spirit and asking him to help you remained disiplined, and secondly by being aware of Satans influence on you.

A daily rosary will help all of us receive the graces from our Holy Mother given to her by her Son.

sm,
Lusting after someone by looking at them? I think men do this, but I can’t remember looking at a man and having lustful thoughts. Women don’t think like men.
I may have had thoughts how handsome a oerson is or how intelligent, but that’s as far as it goes.

God bless,
jean8

PS, I forgot to mention, How clean he is. Is he presentable.
So, guys, clean yourself up.

 

[Reynardus]

‘To abstain from sinful actions is not sufficient for the fulfillment of God’s law. The very desire of what is forbidden is evil.’

St. John Baptist de la Salle

I don’t get it. Does that mean that if you have a desire to do something bad, even though you do not permit it out of a desire to do God’s will…you’re still committing a sin? I thought feelings aren’t sinful no matter how evil they are as long as you resist giving in to it.

I’m sorry but lately, some quotations from Saints that I’ve been reading in several Catholic websites have slowly been eroding my Faith lately. I feel like everything I do now is a sin.

I’m just hoping they’ve been posted out of context.

Someone…please help in this matter.

 

[Tarek_Chidiac]

sm,
Lusting after someone by looking at them? I think men do this, but I can’t remember looking at a man and having lustful thoughts. Women don’t think like men.
I may have had thoughts how handsome a oerson is or how intelligent, but that’s as far as it goes.

God bless,
jean8

PS, I forgot to mention, How clean he is. Is he presentable.
So, guys, clean yourself up.

Not All men do this, and some women do it.

 

[JRKH]

I don’t get it. Does that mean that if you have a desire to do something bad, even though you do not permit it out of a desire to do God’s will…you’re still committing a sin? I thought feelings aren’t sinful no matter how evil they are as long as you resist giving in to it.

I’m sorry but lately, some quotations from Saints that I’ve been reading in several Catholic websites have slowly been eroding my Faith lately. I feel like everything I do now is a sin.

I’m just hoping they’ve been posted out of context.

Someone…please help in this matter.

Please do not lose hope or faith my dear friend.
Jesus expanded the idea of sinning to include thoughts during his sermon on the mount. This was to teach the faithful that we must be WHOLLY turned toward God. Not just in our actions but in our very selves. It sounds as though this is how you feel as well so you are on the right track.

This is why I recommended earlier that we read the entire passage and not just the verse about lust. We need to see, not the paticular “rule”, but the overall sense of what Jesus was trying to teach us. The quotes of the saints that you speak of are generally from and for those persons persuing the “unitive” way. That is a spiritual marriage with Christ. Their messages and warnings are good teaching for all of us, but not everyone is called to this type of spiritual pursuit. At least not to the degree of say a “St.John of the Cross”, or “St Teresa of Avila”.

The things to bear in mind for all of us are:

1. We are all called to holiness. To be, “Perfect as your heavenly father is perfect”
2. We need to internalize the two great commandments of Love. Love of God and Love of neighbor.
3. If we Truly Love God as the commandment requires, we will not wish to offend Him even with a thought.
4. Because we are human and fall down (as small children will) our Heavenly Father forgives us - So long as we ask forgiveness and keep on trying to improve.

Keep striving!! Your doing good.
Cast out those bad thoughts as soon as you can.
They might (read will) creep back, but each time we cast them out them they will come back weaker.
Rely on God and His grace.

Hope this helps.

Peace
James

PS I am currently reading a book called “The fulfillment of All Desire” byRalph Martin. I highly recommend it to all!!

 

[JRKH]

Just as a personal note, I had occasion to this precise issue “lusting” yesterday.
My stepson and I were having lunch in a resturant. He looked over my shoulder and made indication that there was someone quite attractive behind me. I did not turn and look however. (one point for me)
Now the lady and man came up to pay their check and it was in front and to my right. She was, in fact, very attractive and i simply could not prevent looking at her. I would look away, but as soon as I “dropped my guard” my eyes would return to her - and it wasn’t her face I found myself looking at, although she was certainly pretty.

Did I desire her? Certainly not overtly. I mean I did not “want to bed her” as it were, but neither was I looking at her as a “Child of God”. I was looking at the physical object with my physical eyes and there was nothing spiritual about it except my poor efforts NOT to look.
Was this harmful to my soul (sinful) probably not much, but it was most certainly NOT holy. And that is the point to me.

Did I sin by looking? Probably not.
Did I sin by looking again?? Probably.
Grave sin? Probably not.
Sin none the less? Yep.

Just some thoughts lest anyone think my earlier posts sounded “holier than thou”. We are all struggling.

Peace
James

 

[JRKH]

Sorry to be monopolizing the thread here, but I keep having these “new” thoughts.

The real central issue in all of this is not whether we have trangressed some rule. That is “immature” Old Testiment thinking.
No - The real issue is whether what we think, say, do, etc. is moving us toward God or away from Him.

All of this begins, not at our actions, not in our “thoughts” but in our hearts. Note that Jesus, in the OP’s question, doesn’t say that you’ve committed adultery in your mind, but rather “in your heart”. This is a significant difference. For our brain may produce certain biological responses, but it is what is in our heart, that is important.

We always want to ask the question, “is such-and-such a sin?”, as though we are looking for that line where transgression begins. This alright for children who are being taught self control, but for an adult who wishes to advance in holiness it is the wrong question to ask. We need to stop thinking in terms of, “is something a sin or not?”. We need to start thinking in terms of, “is this pleasing to God or not?”

I am often remined of the rich young man in the Gospel. He asked Jesus what he nust do to attain eternal life. Jesus asked him if he knew the caommandments. The young man responded that he had kept all these since he was a boy. Did Jesus tell the rich young man, “That’s fine, your good to go.”? No - Jesus set the next goal before the young man, “Go, sell all that you have, give to the poor and come follow me.” The young man went away sad.
Never rest on your accomplishments or on your “obedience” to the commandments. Continually Strive. That is what Jesus demands of us. WE may fail but we must keep trying.

So we must look closely at ourselves and determine if what we think, how we feel, how we justify ourselves etc is really drawing ourselves closer to God or not.

Peace
James

 

[smjwright]

sm,
Lusting after someone by looking at them? I think men do this, but I can’t remember looking at a man and having lustful thoughts. Women don’t think like men.
I may have had thoughts how handsome a oerson is or how intelligent, but that’s as far as it goes.

God bless,
jean8

PS, I forgot to mention, How clean he is. Is he presentable.
So, guys, clean yourself up.

God Bless you Jean8 for never having being tempted that way, you have been blessed, but unfortunately many people are tempted, men and women alike. Our culture sells, glorifies and almost worships sex. Teenage sexuality is exploding at an alarming rate and the sacredness of it’s intent, God’s plan, has been completely overlooked and even ignored.

This is Satan’s plan, and he uses an indifferent society to influence those by glorifying it with no accountability. We need to ask God for his graces giving us strength to overcome those temptations.

Thank you jean8, join me in a rosary for all of those who are struggling.

God Bless,
smjwright

 

[FK04US]

I think that some people have deviated this teaching way too much. We, humans, are not souls only, we are body and soul, all in unity with Christ. And God has created beauty, and I find really ungrateful the fact that some people are recommending looking with disgust the beautiful creation of God on earth. Not even Jesus was free of temptations, he was tempted, and defeated temptation. The same way, us, will have temptations, but we fight, NOT HIDE, and pursue holiness. Women are beautiful, I look at them, no big deal. In the same way I appreciate the sunset or the beach, or ice-cream, or good music. We are humans, not robots. That is not lust. Catholicism teaches temperance as a value, it does not teach repression of the senses.

 

[JRKH]

I think that some people have deviated this teaching way too much. We, humans, are not souls only, we are body and soul, all in unity with Christ. And God has created beauty, and I find really ungrateful the fact that some people are recommending looking with disgust the beautiful creation of God on earth. Not even Jesus was free of temptations, he was tempted, and defeated temptation. The same way, us, will have temptations, but we fight, NOT HIDE, and pursue holiness. Women are beautiful, I look at them, no big deal. In the same way I appreciate the sunset or the beach, or ice-cream, or good music. We are humans, not robots. That is not lust. Catholicism teaches temperance as a value, it does not teach repression of the senses.

Nicely put:thumbsup:

If anything I think that this thread and the various takes on the matter demonstrate just how narrow and treacherous the road into the kingdom is. The various snares and detours can easily destroy us if we are not careful. It all boils down to what we “see” and “feel” in our hearts.
You say that you can look at a beautiful woman and simply note their beauty - no big deal - like a sunset etc. This is wonderful. However let us make note of the flip side of this. Can you look at an “unattractive” woman and appreciate her in the similar way. For to look at one Child of God and say she is beautiful while looking at another Child of God and noting that she is not, is not condusive to seeing Christ in all creation.
Please don’t get me wrong, I am not judging you or saying that I don’t do the same thing. We are all struggling to find our way and follow Christ more closely.
Yes Jesus was tempted and overcame it. Was this because He was God and incorruptable? Or might He have fallen and God been forced to withdraw His Spirit from the body called Jesus? This is a most interesting cunundrum whic would be worthy of it’s own thread.

Anyway - thank you for your uplifting post. May God continue to lead you more deeply into His truths.

Peace
James

 

[Tarek_Chidiac]

God created beauty. And Beauty is to contemplate joyfully and praise God. Beauty are not to be possessed and desired passionaly. (that 's the meaninig of lusting,I guess). Many “Beauties” are arround us, Roses for example. But notice that when we cut a rose we put it in its way to death.

 

[KingAlfred]

Is it actually adultery when you think someone is very attractive even if you are 100% sure you would never have any physical contact even if you could?

I think if one dwells on lust, then yes, it’s *very *sinful. To feel lust, though, is natural. It goes to our mating instinct, which we can’t completely control, much less eliminate. We simply can’t act on it, or let it get the best of us. I work with hundreds of teenage girls who deliberately dress seductively on a daily basis. It’s actually scary to see what their parents allow them to wear, or not to wear. It’s vital to not look at them in that sense, to constantly remind onself of the immorality of lusting after the young, other people outside marriage or relationships, etc., etc. It’s a moral test, and one that can be passed. Lust can be conquered through Christian self-discipline.

 

[JRKH]

God created beauty. And Beauty is to contemplate joyfully and praise God. Beauty are not to be possessed and desired passionaly. (that 's the meaninig of lusting,I guess). Many “Beauties” are arround us, Roses for example. But notice that when we cut a rose we put it in its way to death.

Well said. I particularly like the reference to the rose.

Yes God created Beauty. But What is this “beauty” that God created and what is the “beauty” that is being discussed on this thread.
What are we looking at and calling “Beauty” in an "attractive person? Is it the sensual attractivenss of a person? Is it the desirability of the Body? If so then it is beauty in the “worldly sense”. For there are many who are not “attractive” in this sensual way who, none the less are beautiful in their lives, in their character, in their love and certainly they are beautiful in the sight of God.
Perhaps what we are trying to discern here is with what eyes are we seeing beauty. Are we seeing with the eyes of passion or the eyes of praise, The eyes of the world or the eyes of God?

Peace
James

P.S. there is much on this thread that is useful. I am getting a lot from it. Praise God for everyones (name removed by moderator)ut.
JH

 

[redrosetea]

I think it is desiring to do evil rather than to do good

 

[Janechantal53]

How can anyone think that it is a sin to have a feeling with a body created by God to have feelings? Jesus did not define what He meant by “…lusting in his heart…” We can only be responsible for what we choose to do with that feeling. To think that any other choice is available to us is to delude ourselves.

 

[JRKH]

How can anyone think that it is a sin to have a feeling with a body created by God to have feelings? Jesus did not define what He meant by “…lusting in his heart…” We can only be responsible for what we choose to do with that feeling. To think that any other choice is available to us is to delude ourselves.

I bolded the above sentence beause this is the crux of the matter.
Let me ask you this.
How long does a “Feeling” last before we have a “Choice” of what to do with it? No one here is denying that certain biological stimuli will produce certain biological responses. But how long is it before a biological reponse become a response of Choice?

One sees a pretty girl and the mind instantly notes her “attributes”. Certain thoughts/desires are immediately triggered. Almost immediately after that is triggered the “controlled thought” aspect. Now we get into the area where we are not automatically responding but choosing to think. This is the area where we are dealing with “impure thoughts” and therefore sin.

So how long do you give yourself on the “Auto-response” before you become culpable for your thoughts?

Peace
James

 

[Janechantal53]

From the point that there is a “choice”.

 

[CHRISTINE77]

I think another point needs to be mentioned, that is, if a man is married and eyeing other women than his wife lustfully, that is more than the sin of lust, that is almost adultry or at least coveting your neighbor’s wife. Once a man is married, he should have eyes only for his wife.

 

[smjwright]

I think another point needs to be mentioned, that is, if a man is married and eyeing other women than his wife lustfully, that is more than the sin of lust, that is almost adultry or at least coveting your neighbor’s wife. Once a man is married, he should have eyes only for his wife.

You are absolutely right…!!!

 

[Tarek_Chidiac]

I think another point needs to be mentioned, that is, if a man is married and eyeing other women than his wife lustfully, that is more than the sin of lust, that is almost adultry or at least coveting your neighbor’s wife. Once a man is married, he should have eyes only for his wife.

Totaly with

 

[daeve]

I don’t get it. Does that mean that if you have a desire to do something bad, even though you do not permit it out of a desire to do God’s will…you’re still committing a sin? I thought feelings aren’t sinful no matter how evil they are as long as you resist giving in to it.

I’m sorry but lately, some quotations from Saints that I’ve been reading in several Catholic websites have slowly been eroding my Faith lately. I feel like everything I do now is a sin.

I’m just hoping they’ve been posted out of context.

Someone…please help in this matter.

These are just my thoughts, but I can see what you’re saying. You see some beautiful thing just out in the open, ripe for the taking, and fleetingly you think, That could go home with me. Immediately you say to yourself, yeah right, like you’re going to be a thief now. No, I don’t think that’s a sin. It’s a thought that popped into your head. You got rid of it, recognized it for what it was – just plain stupid and not something you would do.

I might see George Clooney someday – he’s about to start filming in St. Louis – and I might think Va-va-va-voom, but that’s as far as it goes, and not only because I don’t have a chance with him. But he’s gorgeous and I do like to look at him. I also like to look at a beautiful sunset, and the huge flock of geese wandering around the business campus where my office building is. Beauty can be appropriately enjoyed.

But if thoughts of George start to fill my every waking moment, and I’m obsessing over how I could actually connect with him, or what I’d want to do…you know what kind of stuff I mean…that’s a whole different situation.

There’s a difference between a fleeting thought, and really wanting to kill your mother-in-law.

This might sound goofy, but when I was in grade school the nun told us to say, “Get thee behind me, Satan,” when temptation was troubling you. I still do that. If va-va-voom ever went past that, I’d say it today.

The thought that you should look at a beautiful woman with disgust to avoid lusting in your heart is absurd. God created that beauty and I’m not one to loathe what God created.

What about people who aren’t married yet? They should feel some sexual desire when they see the person they’re meant to marry. You can’t think only chaste thoughts until the wedding night. If you don’t find the other person sexually attractive, find someone else to marry. Sexual attraction is on purpose, God planned that so we would continue the human species.

Lust and attraction are not the same emotion. Lust is self-centered, for personal gratification. It could be directed at your spouse, and that’s wrong. Attraction is necessary for spouses and potential spouses. Who would want to be intimate with someone they don’t find attractive?