What exactly is "lusting in your heart"

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Just as a personal note, I had occasion to this precise issue “lusting” yesterday.
My stepson and I were having lunch in a resturant. He looked over my shoulder and made indication that there was someone quite attractive behind me. I did not turn and look however. (one point for me)
Now the lady and man came up to pay their check and it was in front and to my right. She was, in fact, very attractive and i simply could not prevent looking at her. I would look away, but as soon as I “dropped my guard” my eyes would return to her - and it wasn’t her face I found myself looking at, although she was certainly pretty.

Did I desire her? Certainly not overtly. I mean I did not “want to bed her” as it were, but neither was I looking at her as a “Child of God”. I was looking at the physical object with my physical eyes and there was nothing spiritual about it except my poor efforts NOT to look.
Was this harmful to my soul (sinful) probably not much, but it was most certainly NOT holy. And that is the point to me.

Did I sin by looking? Probably not.
Did I sin by looking again?? Probably.
Grave sin? Probably not.
Sin none the less? Yep.

Just some thoughts lest anyone think my earlier posts sounded “holier than thou”. We are all struggling.

Peace
James
This from Jimmy Akin (the head of the Ap. dept. Catholic answers…for those who do not know)
I find very helpful

jimmyakin.org/2009/01/appreciating-beauty-vs-concupiscence.html
 
Well said. I particularly like the reference to the rose.

Yes God created Beauty. But What is this “beauty” that God created and what is the “beauty” that is being discussed on this thread.
What are we looking at and calling “Beauty” in an "attractive person? Is it the sensual attractivenss of a person? Is it the desirability of the Body? If so then it is beauty in the “worldly sense”. For there are many who are not “attractive” in this sensual way who, none the less are beautiful in their lives, in their character, in their love and certainly they are beautiful in the sight of God.
Perhaps what we are trying to discern here is with what eyes are we seeing beauty. Are we seeing with the eyes of passion or the eyes of praise, The eyes of the world or the eyes of God?

Peace
James

P.S. there is much on this thread that is useful. I am getting a lot from it. Praise God for everyones (name removed by moderator)ut.
JH
Some quotes from Pope John Paul II (before he was Pope):

“The essence of chastity consists in quickness to affirm the value of the person in every situation and in raising to the personal level the value of “the body and sex”…”

One does not “artificially banish the values of the ‘body’ or more generally the values of sex to the subconscious, pretending they do not exist, or at any rate have no effect.”

“It is not a matter of summarily ‘annihilating’ the value “body and sex” in the conscious mind…the value of “body and sex” must be grounded and implanted in the value of the person”

“…Beauty is essentially an object of contemplative cognition, and to experience aesthetic values is not to exploit: it give joy…”

(all from Love and Responsibility (Wojtyla …later JPII …p 105 p 171)

One appreciates the beauty of “persons”…all is grounded in or to be grounded in the person. But this does not mean one slurs over the fact that that the sexual values exist – for they are good --but one recognizes the marital meaning of the body --and one binds tightly everything to the person.

SHE --that person with dignity-- is beautiful…
 
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