What goes into a marriage validation?

[twosweetgirls]

First of all, this is exciting the heck out of me. Quick background: DH was baptized/confirmed Catholic, I a Methodist. When we were dating, I insisted (per my prejudices and ignorance ) that he become Methodist if we married. This he did, and we married in the Methodist church.

So long story short, I’m a happy Catholic Convert and our marriage needs to be officially validated. I just received our baptism records from our respective childhood churches, and got a copy of our marriage license from the courthouse!

But I was quite surprised when my priest informed me that there was more paperwork to be done–a letter to write to the diocese stating the fitness of our marriage, among other things. Then, I have to choose witnesses for the validation, and once those things are complete THEN the ceremony can be underway.

So what exactly goes into a marriage validation? Did you have one done, and what was the process? I must admit a certain amount of impatience (but a good kind) because I thought all the Church needed was the necessary records.

Any insight?

 

[puzzleannie]

the same thing goes on as preparation for marriage of any couple, adapted to the individual needs and situation–how long you have been together, sacramental status of each partner, are their children etc… These include a process, including interview with pastor or his delegate, a retreat or some kind of preparation meetings, possibly meetings with sponsor couple, statement of witnesses, all designed to ensure that the bond is lasting, there are no impediments to a valid contract, that the relationship is healthy etc. There is also of course paperwork, for the church and civil authorities.

While a newly engaged couples can expect 6-12 months preparation in the average parish, for convalidation, assuming there are no problems like annulments to wait for, 3-6 months is reasonable. Here the major delays (not including annulments) are parties bringing in paperwork, waiting for a convalidation conference scheduled in their area and/or language, and waiting on the convenience of other family members for the celebration.

 

[Mrs_Mac]

Well you have every reason to be excited!

After 23 years of civil marriage, my dh and I had our marriage convalidated last year following my conversion to the Catholic Church. To prepare for the meeting, we had to obtain an updated copy of my dh’s (Catholic) baptismal certificate from his childhood parish. I submitted my original Episcopal baptismal certificate.

Our state also required that we obtain a new marriage license from town hall, but not all states require this.

We then met with our pastor for about an hour. He asked us each a series of questions to determine our fitness for marriage. He dispensed us from having to provide witness affidavits regarding any impediments to marriage, because he believed us when we said neither of us had been married to anyone else before.

Our diocese requires pre-Cana for all marriages, so the last 20 minutes of the meeting were a discussion of the teachings of Jesus and St. Paul on Christian marriage. We were not required to attend a formal pre-Cana program.

Our ceremony took place about a month later in the chapel with 2 witnesses and our immediate family present. It was a most beautiful experience.

And my brother in law, the Lutheran pastor who had married us in 1984, got through the day okay.

Have fun planning this.

Mrs. Mac

 

[BSHoop96]

First of all, this is exciting the heck out of me. Quick background: DH was baptized/confirmed Catholic, I a Methodist. When we were dating, I insisted (per my prejudices and ignorance ) that he become Methodist if we married. This he did, and we married in the Methodist church.

So long story short, I’m a happy Catholic Convert and our marriage needs to be officially validated. I just received our baptism records from our respective childhood churches, and got a copy of our marriage license from the courthouse!

But I was quite surprised when my priest informed me that there was more paperwork to be done–a letter to write to the diocese stating the fitness of our marriage, among other things. Then, I have to choose witnesses for the validation, and once those things are complete THEN the ceremony can be underway.

So what exactly goes into a marriage validation? Did you have one done, and what was the process? I must admit a certain amount of impatience (but a good kind) because I thought all the Church needed was the necessary records.

Any insight?

My story is similar to Mrs. Mac. The convalidation was not a time consuming thing. My husband and I both had anullments to get but that was a different issue. After that was done, we met with the priest. He filled out paperwork as he asked us questions. Separately and together. He talked to us in his office a bit and that was it. I will add that we have attended his parish almost a year so he does know us. We scheduled the convalidation with just us, our priest, a family member who is also a priest, and two witnesses. Good luck!