What happened to me?

[shanishani7]

I have lost faith, hope and love. I don’t think God will help me even a bit, I have no hope to even ask Him on anything anymore. And I can’t feel the love from God now. And for a few moments I doubt if God really exists.

I feel God just wants me to suffer and suffer.

I attend mass less than before, and pray much less now.

What happened to me? Do I fail the trials given by God?

 

[Iron_Donkey]

As C.S. Lewis says, it is easy to praise and follow God in the high points, but by persevering even in the low points - by following what we know to be good and true even when our feelings lean towards doubt and push us towards despair - we demonstrate our faith and commitment. See also dark night of the soul.

Periods of doubt and darkness happen to us all (even and perhaps especially the saints: St. John of the Cross, St Therese of Liseux, Bl. Mother Teresa). The key is not to give in to them and fall into despair. Simply experiencing the darkness is not a failure.

Certainly though, just because it’s common doesn’t mean that it’s minor (severity and duration vary). Especially if you’re struggling, it’s best to seek the guidance of a spiritual director, and possibly counseling. To emphasize though, neither the experience itself nor seeking help to handle it is a sign of any sort of failure of a trial. It may be the case that it is the trial, and, like all trials given by God, is there for our growth (even if it may not seem very helpful at the time) - again, see St. John of the Cross on dark night of the soul.

 

[marlap2]

I have lost faith, hope and love. I don’t think God will help me even a bit, I have no hope to even ask Him on anything anymore. And I can’t feel the love from God now. And for a few moments I doubt if God really exists.

I feel God just wants me to suffer and suffer.

I attend mass less than before, and pray much less now.

What happened to me? Do I fail the trials given by God?

Sometimes your sensitivity to hear God’s voice and have consolation is darkened by sin. Missing Mass is a mortal sin. Resolve as soon as possible to get your armor back by making a sincere and good confession. Spend some time away from the noise of your life, your ipod, computer, or whatever distracts you, and pray. Do one good thing for someone out of love for God.
Google/youtube: Ignatian Rules for Discernment. You are in a traditional time of desolation, and by NOT doing the things that bring you peace and joy of Christ, you are darkening even more the way to Him. There are 14 rules. If you read/watch the first five, it will all make sense to you.

God Bless!

 

[midori]

St. Theresa of Avila, in “The Interior Castle”, said that the soul is like a mansion, with many rooms… God is in the center, in the seventh mansion. We start off outside the castle, and work our way towards the center…

Of the second mansion, she says:

Here God speaks to souls through words from others, by sermons or good books, and in many other ways. Sometimes He calls souls by means of sickness or troubles, or by some truth he teaches during prayer. Lukewarm as these souls may be in seeking Him, God holds them very dear.

Do not think lightly of this first grace-- God calling you closer to Him-- nor be downcast if you have not responded immediately to His voice. He is gracious and willing to wait many days and may years for us, especially when He sees our perseverance and the desire to obey in our hearts. Perseverance is the first essential, for with it we are sure to profit greatly. However, because the soul can now hear, it will resist the demons, as they will assault the soul fiercely in many ways. When the soul was in the first mansion it was mute and deaf and offered feeble resistance like one who has lost all hope of victory. Now the soul will resist the demon onslaught.

tl;dr: read the saints, do good works. It’s okay if it’s mechanical at this point; we know what we need to be doing, so do it, whether you get anything out of it or not. It’s about serving God and doing his will, not looking for consolations or immediate rewards.

Later on, she goes on to say of a soul at this stage:

How absurd and shameful it is that we who are newly born and have little strength and a thousand obstacles, drawbacks, and imperfections within ourselves, complain of feeling dryness and a lack of sweetness in our prayers.

Do not act this way; look instead unto Jesus Christ, His death on the cross, His resurrection, and the new life He lives within us. If we would be like Him, we must deny ourselves and pick up our cross daily… He knows what is best for us and we should not presume to advise him in what we need. This is of vital importance: The soul allowing its will to be conformed to the will of God shall have the strength to overcome all the trials and obstacles on its journey. The soul has no need of some mysterious formula in conforming to and doing the will of God. if we start with the idea that God should follow our will and lead us in the way we think best, we will have no firm foundation for our spiritual edifice to stand on.

tl;dr: God turns our falls to our good. Our trials and temptations and failures are effective teachers. We need to spend our time contemplating God’s divinity, not our own shortcomings. How will we draw closer to God if we cut ourselves off from where we know his graces are to be found? We are created in the image and likeness of God, yet the soul starts off blind, deaf, crippled, and mute, outside the gates of the castle. Humility and prayer are the two key elements for leaving that state behind and becoming more like the people he created us to be.

 

[marlap2]

St. Theresa of Avila, in “The Interior Castle”, said that the soul is like a mansion, with many rooms… God is in the center, in the seventh mansion. We start off outside the castle, and work our way towards the center…

I second Midori’s advice! I love Theresa of Avila. If you read her book carefully (I have them in audiobook and hard cover) you will recognize yourself somewhere in her interior castle… and it will give you solace.

If you are young, (teenager, young adult) you might want to read “Story of a Soul” as well. the LIttle Flower would struggle with a desert experience from time to time. She also found solace in doing good. (Her little way explains this so very well)

Find yourself a few saints to journey with you. Believe me, they will.
My saintly friends are Francis of Assisi, Therese of Avila, the little flower, Today’s saint, Catherine of Siena… and lots more. My mother (who is not catholic, or even Christian yet… has developed a relationship with St. Anthony of Padua. SHe has Alzheimers, and when she forgets something, she asks for his help. AND he helps her … EVERY single time… isn’t that awesome?)

 

[Rosebud77]

We all get dark times; my response i to knit more. My knitting is sold to feed abandoned babies to even the dark times are used. The worse I feel the faster and more beautiful my work is, It is my giving, my expression of love and faith. Regardless of my feelings… and a defiance of darkness