What happens between confirmtion and marriage?

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suupah

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Has anyone notices the large age gap in the Catholic parishes? you get pretty good attendance from the children up until confirmation. Then ‘poof’ you don’t see them again until it is time to get married.

What happens to this group and why don’t they go to mass?
 
This is a big problem. Time and time again, I hear from adults from my parish, mostly parents, who say they would like to get involved, but for one reason or another, don’t. It’s not that our parish has nothing for them to do. Tonight, for example, was our first Friday “Mass & Class.” We invite people to come to the Mass dedicated to the Sacred Heart, then afterwards in our hall, we have a class where our pastor gives us a brief little talk on the universal intention of the Holy Father for this month. Of the nearly 6,000 registered families in the parish, only 40 or so joined us this evening. It’s very sad!

We also have adult bible studies, social action groups, KofC, and a whole slew of ministries, groups and organizations, but less than a third of all parishioners participate. Catechesis does not end at confirmation…if anything, it’s the beginning of one’s responsibilities to make sure one continues to learn the Faith.

With that being said, I feel that more should be said about this from the pulpit. It’s one of the reasons why many adults now leave the Church for something else, whatever that may be.

God Bless!
 
The world happens. That’s what happened to me. The world pulls at you, tells you lies, leads you down false paths, etc etc. And you get pulled away from your faith. It is very hard for 20 somethings to remain faithful to the church with all the outside influences, especially if you haven’t had good catholic formation.
 
suupah said:
Has anyone notices the large age gap in the Catholic parishes? you get pretty good attendance from the children up until confirmation. Then ‘poof’ you don’t see them again until it is time to get married.

What happens to this group and why don’t they go to mass?
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Those families who view “religious ed” as what goes on one hour a week at the church are not practicing their faith in their homes. Therefore, when the child reaches the age of independence, they have no model of practicing their faith 24/7 and no love of God drawing them to the Sacraments.

In home where the family practices fully-- Mass, devotions, prayers, family time, discussions about the faith, Catholic periodicals, involvement in the parish, etc-- the kids don’t fall away with the same frequency b/c they have developed a true faith. That is my experience.
 
What happens in this gap is the youth exploring the world. This is their college time to explore life, and some explore their faith in different ways than just Sundays. When the next generation is started the cycle starts again and the now married parents adjust their lives to new responsibilities.

Many are active (e.g. college outreach (Newman Centers, Catholic College ministry)) but you may not see that in the pews week to week.
 
A very wise (Protestant) pastor told me once that all children have to develop their OWN faith, not their parents’ faith.

He said that so many Christians (and he was talking about Protestants) think that their children are doing really well in the faith because they go to church, youth group, etc.

But many of these kids are simply obeying their parents, and they really have no faith of their own. When they get away from the home, they live their own faith, which in many cases, is NO Faith.

This is devastating for parents who truly worked hard to raise their children in the faith and to practice spiritual disciplines. Yes, this walking-away from faith happens even in good Christian homes where children ARE catechized well and where faith is an everyday reality practiced by the parents.

But eventually, hopefully many of these young people will find their own faith and experience a true conversion (not just an emotional conversion that happens at a lot of youth camps and meetings).

As parents, we just have to pray and keep living our own faith. I believe that at this time in our children’s lives (when they are between Confirmation and Marriage) WE, the parents, are our children’s Church, and we have to work as hard as any pastor to shepherd our wandering children and help them to find their way back to the sheepfold. We can’t push them or cajole them back. We just have to love them and God and trust that God will honor his promise in Proverbs 22: 6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old, he won’t depart from it.”
 
suupah said:
Has anyone notices the large age gap in the Catholic parishes? you get pretty good attendance from the children up until confirmation. Then ‘poof’ you don’t see them again until it is time to get married.

What happens to this group and why don’t they go to mass?
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sometimes they have moved away from home, are in the armed forces, or away at college. Most of ours go to school locally if at all, but we do get a noticable rise in attendance at holidays and summers.

There is a larger group, sadly, who abandons, at least for a time Catholic belief and practice entirely or in part, for a lot of reasons–rebellion against family, invfluence of college professors, or peers, immoral lifestyle, or just faltering belief, or anger against perceived hypocrisy on the part of those who first taught them the faith.

That is why pre-cana instruction is so important, it is a “catechetical moment” and a chance to address such issues, and it is also why engaged couples are so strongly urged to finish Christian initiation if not already confirmed.

Again, the family has the most influence here. If parents cease practicing (which was a huge problem in my generation, immediately post V2) or especially if the father does not practice, the teens and young adults almost never will unless they come back to the faith independently from some other motivation.
 
Cat said:
A very wise (Protestant) pastor told me once that all children have to develop their OWN faith, not their parents’ faith.
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I once heard this stated as: God has no grandchildren.
 
People become insipid and wrapped up in their own silly lives.They dont think about what God wants and dont undrstand how wonderful He is.They start to take life for granted.Its a terrible thing, a terrible thing, and atrociously unfair to Jesus.:mad:
 
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