What happens to a Catholic who is not confirmed?

[Joannm]

Go to another parish. You parish is obviously doing something wrong and they don’t care. And I can’t believe your diocese will not do anything about it. The first thing you should do is go to confession and start going to communion because it is a sin for you not to (if your pastor refuses then it is probably his sin and not yours)

 

[puzzleannie]

I, too, went through Confirmation preparation as an eleven-year-old, but the night of confirmation (I had chosen St. Francis as my confirmation saint) something happened to my brother and we counldn’t attend the ceremony. I never went back to be confirmed. What does this mean for sins that were committed without the blessing or covering of the Holy Spirit? What does this mean for Reconcilation? Was I truly a Catholic during this time? I am coming back to the Church after a 30-year absence.

it means nothing with regard to sins or reconciliation. It simply means that for whatever reason you did not complete your Christian initation through confirmation. You can call your parish and prepare for that sacrament now. You won’t be alone, there are plenty of folks in the same situation. For the benefit of others whose child or teen misses the confirmation ceremony scheduled for your parish, don’t use that as an reason to miss out altogether. Call your pastor, he can probably arrange for the candidate to participate at another parish, or at the next date the bishop is available, w/o having to repeat the class.

If you have been away from the Church, Welcome Home!. Simply go to confession, tell the priest about it, receive absolution and return to communion. Call the office and arrange for confirmation preparation, but that should not keep you away from communion (or from getting a marriage convalidated, if that is an issue for you).

 

[Aramis]

Go to another parish. You parish is obviously doing something wrong and they don’t care. And I can’t believe your diocese will not do anything about it. The first thing you should do is go to confession and start going to communion because it is a sin for you not to (if your pastor refuses then it is probably his sin and not yours)

Agreed. This pastor is not caring for your soul in accord with canon law.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Cory, if you are being given a rough way to go by both the pastor AND the chancery, then try st-joseph-foundation.org/ . You do have certain canon rights as you are already a Catholic. Perhaps they can persuade a few people in Vegas that you do.

 

[1ke]

Update.

I contacted my Bishiop’s office this morning and I was told that the Parish Priest is the final authority on this subject. If he dismisses me from Mass than that is his decision. Also, if my Parish Pastor requires a 2 year RCIA program for me than that is what I must do. The Bishop’s office stated that they will not override a Parish Pastor’s decision.

I emailed everything to the Vicar General for help and guidance. I am anxiously waiting to hear from him.

Cory,

Please keep us updated if you hear from the vicar general. And, if you do not get help from him, I second OutinChgoburbs’s suggestion to contact the St. Joseph foundation. They specialize in helping people with canon law issues.

 

[Cory_G]

Thank you all so much for all your help and support on this matter. I will save the link to St Joseph’s Foundation and await to hear back from the Vicar General.

I have prayed and I believe that the best possible solution is to continue to pray that I one day can get confirmed, if it is God’s Will.

Thank you all. God bless.

 

[benedictus2]

Go to another parish. You parish is obviously doing something wrong and they don’t care. And I can’t believe your diocese will not do anything about it. The first thing you should do is go to confession and start going to communion because it is a sin for you not to (if your pastor refuses then it is probably his sin and not yours)

Totally agree with this. You don’t have to stick to your parish.

 

[Cory_G]

Totally agree with this. You don’t have to stick to your parish.

I don’t think I understand the organization of the Church. If it is right to simply go to another parish. Is this the same as when a child shops for answers between parents? (Getting told no by mom so you go ask dad)

Also, don’t they all report to the Bishop so wouldn’t our Bishops overall viewpoint set the tone for all underlying parishes?

(I did look up another Parish. 6 miles from my house. Probably only a 15 minute drive.)

 

[jmcrae]

I don’t think I understand the organization of the Church. If it is right to simply go to another parish. Is this the same as when a child shops for answers between parents? (Getting told no by mom so you go ask dad)

If your territorial parish isn’t meeting your spiritual needs, you are allowed to go to a parish where they are able to meet your needs.

Also, don’t they all report to the Bishop so wouldn’t our Bishops overall viewpoint set the tone for all underlying parishes?

Yes, but at the same time, a parish with a larger membership base and more volunteers would probably have a greater ability to meet your needs as a returning Catholic, rather than lumping you in with the RCIA.

 

[dans0622]

Cory,

Based on all that you have said, this whole situation is quite absurd. While I can understand that the Bishop doesn’t want to get involved, your rights as a Catholic are being ignored and/or actively denied. It is too bad that, in some cases, the Sacraments are basically used as carrots on a stick so that the faithful just have to chase after them and go through all sorts of hoops to get “the reward” for their cooperation in the program. This is especially true for Confirmation.

Anyway, in order to be confirmed, all the “elements required by the revised Code of Canon Law are indeed present, namely, that the person be baptized, have the use of reason, be suitably instructed, and be properly disposed and able to renew the baptismal promises (cf. cann. 843, §1; 889, §2).” (This is from a statement from the Vatican.) This seems to apply perfectly to your case. If you actually are not “suitably instructed,” that should take no more than a few hours, I would think.

As others have said, if you can not get the pastor to recognize your rights, contacting the St. Joseph Foundation would be a good idea. God bless.

Dan

 

[NancyCNM]

Cory-
If you are in Las Vegas, there is at least one Eastern Rite Catholic Church there. I personally prefer Byzantine-Ruthenian…Go there! If you find your like it, you can express your desires to the parish priest and he can confer confirmation …

Vegas in in the Eparchy of Van Nuys
(the Eastern equivilent of a Diocese)

Nancy-
Byzantine Catholic of course!

 

[RMRilke]

If you were baptized Catholic, you are still Catholic. To come back to the Church, you need to make a good confession, and then start attending Mass and receiving the sacraments of Holy Communion and Confession regularly. (I am assuming that you have already made your first Confession and first Communion. If not, a priest can help you prepare for these sacraments, but you are still Catholic.)

Once baptized a Catholic, you are a Catholic for life. Baptism puts an indelible mark on your soul.

Any sins you committed can be forgiven in the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession, Penance). God’s mercy is without bounds. Isn’t that great?!

You received the Holy Spirit at Baptism. He remains with you throughout your life, unless you separate yourself from Him by serious sin. He is waiting eagerly to come back to anyone who repents and confesses their sins.

At Confirmation, the Holy Spirit comes to you in a fuller, more abundant way, preparing you to live as a faithful Christian adult, even in times of persecution. Talk to your Catholic pastor about helping you receive this wonderful Sacrament.

We in the Church have missed you; hurry back, and welcome!

Thank you so much for your answer. I am planning on going to Confession today. What do I say? Do I ask for absolution from a life time of sins? Was I a heretic if I did not believe in Catholic doctrine during that time? What if I can’t remember all of my sins or choose not to remember them?

 

[jmcrae]

Thank you so much for your answer. I am planning on going to Confession today. What do I say? Do I ask for absolution from a life time of sins? Was I a heretic if I did not believe in Catholic doctrine during that time? What if I can’t remember all of my sins or choose not to remember them?

Are you receiving instructions to become Catholic, or are you a returning Catholic? If you are a returning Catholic, set an appointment with the priest and ask him to guide you through it.

If you are receiving instructions to become a Catholic, there will be a time set aside for your First Confession, which will take place after you’ve had a chance to receive instructions on how to make a good Confession.

 

[jmcrae]

Thank you so much for your answer. I am planning on going to Confession today. What do I say? Do I ask for absolution from a life time of sins? Was I a heretic if I did not believe in Catholic doctrine during that time? What if I can’t remember all of my sins or choose not to remember them?

Ask the priest to guide you. You might want to make an appointment if you think your Confession will take longer than a few moments.

 

[PhilotheaZ]

Thank you so much for your answer. I am planning on going to Confession today. What do I say? Do I ask for absolution from a life time of sins? Was I a heretic if I did not believe in Catholic doctrine during that time? What if I can’t remember all of my sins or choose not to remember them?

Wonderful news! May God give you His mercy and peace as you approach this wonderful Sacrament.

You should confess that you left the Church and did not believe the teachings of the Church for (whatever length of time it was). I don’t know whether heresy was involved. I wouldn’t worry about labels. Do confess all the serious sins you can remember since your last confession. Don’t be embarrassed; the priest has heard it all.

If you accidentally forget to confess a serious (mortal) sin, it is forgiven anyway, but you should confess it next time you go to confession (which should be every month or so, or right away if you commit a serious sin).

If you intentionally leave out a serious sin, your confession is invalid, none of your sins are forgiven, and you add to them the serious sin of making a bad (dishonest) confession. Don’t play games with this; it is too serious. Be absolutely honest. If you’re going to take the big step of going to confession, you may as well do it right, and receive the mercy available to you rather than further offending God. (I’m not suggesting you would do this; this is for the benefit of anyone who is reading this.)

Here’s a quick “how-to”:

• Before you enter the confessional, pray to the Holy Spirit for help, and examine your conscience.
• Enter the confessional. (You may have the choice of sitting face-to-face or kneeling behind a screen. It’s okay to peek into the confessional when nobody is there so you will know what to expect.) The priest may greet you in some way. If he says nothing, make the sign of the cross. Then say, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."
• Say “It has been ____________ (how long?) since my last confession” or “This is my first confession.”
• Confess your sins. You must confess ALL serious (mortal) sins that you remember, in number and kind. (Simply name the sin and give your best estimate of how many times/how often you have committed it). Start with the difficult ones, the rest will be easy! It is a good idea, although not strictly necessary, to also confess venial (less serious) sins, especially those that give you the most trouble and you want to overcome. Confessing them gives you grace to overcome them.
• The priest will give you some advice. He will give you a penance, usually some prayers or work of charity. Even if you are nervous, try to remember what he asks you to do. If he gives you something you think you can’t do (e.g., a prayer you don’t know), let him know and he may help you locate it or give you a different penance.
• He will ask you to make an act of contrition (this is a prayer expressing your sorrow). Normally you will pray this right there in the confessional. (If he doesn’t, you can say it anyways or pray it silently after you leave the confessional.) There are several versions; have one memorized, or bring one in on a piece of paper. Here is the one I use:

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin. Amen.

• The priest will pray the prayer of absolution, ending with the words, “and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” You respond, “Amen.” You are forgiven … rejoice!
• The priest will dismiss you. Some priests say the words, “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.” Your response would be, "His mercy endures forever."
• Thank the priest and leave the confessional.
• Do the assigned penance. Thank God for His mercy!