What has happened to Catholic Answers Forum?

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I think part of the “problem” here is that people are not required to list their religion, age, or other relevant factors that would help in responding to posts and threads. Now the owners are not going to do that, so it is academic at this point. However, if I knew I was responding to a 19 year old female who is a protestant, I might try to phrase my response in a different manner. Not that I would change my POV, but there is a difference in approach. It is sometimes frustrating to find out that I was responding to someone quite different than who I thought he/she was. That might come across as combative or argumentative. It is the nature of this forum I have found. So, take a lot of things with a grain of salt.
The other thing that I find myself guarding against is the feeling that when a poster is endlessly “arguing” with me, that I have to continue to rise to their tone. It is difficult to just sometimes quit a thread when you feel your lack of engagement would be perceived as conceding the antagonistic poster has “won.”
 
It takes great courage to quit when you are right. But then again, when it is not about winning, it can be easier.

I agree btw.

Whatever it is, there is always another thread to participate on. 🤣
 
I miss the ignore button in the old format, so I am using lots of mute button here. However by doing that you would throw the thread altogether.
 
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While I was out, I realized that I should have given a longer answer. Of course I am aware that your earlier post subtly ridiculed my view on the matter, but that’s alright, I’ll take the bait and explain as if I was silly – cause I kinda am. So here goes.
Cruciferi said:
You wouldn’t like working at my place. I work with rough and abrasive men. They don’t hesitate to say anything.
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You’re right in saying I wouldn’t like that, because where I live there are no abrasive people. A rough and abrasive person just couldn’t be part of our community, and someone born in our community couldn’t possibly grow up to be rough and abrasive. We are therefore simply not used to abrasiveness. It isn’t part of our mental make-up.

Of course we do know how to handle abrasive people when necessary. We have no choice, for we do interact with the outside world, and besides, outsiders have long had a fascination with our culture, so they never stop visiting. They also never stop telling us that we are “timid”, and that we should “learn to be more assertive”. Little do they understand that our refusal (or inability) to be abrasive does not come from timidity.

Rather, for us, to be abrasive is undignified. We are not afraid of being abrasive, we find it distasteful. And this is not because we are so very concerned with the “other” that we are engaged in conversation (or argument, or battle) with, or with whether we hurt his feelings or not. We are first and foremost concerned with maintaining our own dignity. It is nevertheless a felicitous side-effect that this usually also allows the other to maintain his dignity better.

Another way of looking at it is that we seem to obsess about “saving face”. Outsiders tell us that we are too “worried about what others think.” But we are not concerned about that. Our concern is to give all participants in any situation the room to maintain their self-image, which is quite different from a concern about what others think.

A still deeper point is that the Heights of Meekness can only be attempted from the High Camp of Dignity. To abandon dignity for roughness and abrasiveness, or even for common civility, is to abandon one’s chances of making it to the Heights.

You also said I probably wouldn’t like it where you work. Well, you’re right except that me working with rough and abrasive people is not a hypothetical. I work with rough and abrasive people all the time. You see I travel quite a bit. And indeed I don’t like it. Yet, the friction polishes me into shape.

Thanks for your message.
 
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The Amish conduct themselves very similar to what you just described.
 
Cruciferi said:
The Amish conduct themselves very similar to what you just described.
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I sense that that’s not a compliment, nor even a neutral observation. But do correct me if I’m wrong.

Either way, a quick peak at the Wikipedia page reveals that you’re not far off the mark at all:
Two key concepts for understanding Amish practices are their rejection of Hochmut (pride, arrogance, haughtiness) and the high value they place on Demut (humility) and Gelassenheit (calmness, composure, placidity), often translated as “submission” or “letting-be”. Gelassenheit is perhaps better understood as a reluctance to be forward, to be self-promoting, or to assert oneself.
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I’ll tell you though, defending our faith and the convictions we hold most dear often brings about an emotional response, and I’ve found this to be true in real life as well as online. Many times I felt my blood boiling when our break time discussions at work over religion got heated and turned into arguments. I felt terrible after those times, like I betrayed my faith while trying to defend my faith, if that makes sense. I remember vividly those times when I lost my cool, and I try to avoid doing that here, no matter if we’re anonymous.
 
christofirst said:
I’ll tell you though, defending our faith and the convictions we hold most dear often brings about an emotional response, and I’ve found this to be true in real life as well as online. Many times I felt my blood boiling when our break time discussions at work over religion got heated and turned into arguments. I felt terrible after those times, like I betrayed my faith while trying to defend my faith, if that makes sense. I remember vividly those times when I lost my cool, and I try to avoid doing that here, no matter if we’re anonymous.
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Save your militancy for real life. It’s hard to tell online if you are dealing with a sincere soul or a paid shill/troll. In other words, it’s not worth getting yourself in a dither on account of a cyberspace personality. Pray for the person instead. Some aren’t here to learn. They only want to score points. If you back them into a corner with facts, they go onto the next item on their list.
 
Well, if things keep going the way they are on the internet, that’s all that will be left on it - trolls, sock puppets and bots.
 
It’s rather entertaining actually. Occasionally, I will parachute into the fray.
 
0Scarlett_nidiyilii said:
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Lormar:
paid shill/troll
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I never considered this possibility.
I just figure trolls are in it for the snorts and giggles.
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Some are. Some actually get paid to do what they do - stir up a hornet’s nest.
 
0Scarlett_nidiyilii said:
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bmaz:
Have people lost the ability to disagree with people without being unkind?
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Yes.
16 caricatures
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I’ve been thinking about this a little more, and I disagree now. I think it’s that our brain tends to latch on to the negative posts a little more and dwell on those. There is actually a lot of kindness and support, and many genuine people. Far more, I’d say, than put-downs or trolls. What I have a hard time with is the coldness.
 
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No you’re, right, there are kind and genuine people online.
I guess I was expanding what the poster said to the real world and Facebook, where the interactions are online with people we actually know, and I do feel like it’s a lot harder to disagree with people nowadays without the conversation degenerating into labels like “stupid” and “crazy” and the ever-popular “nazi”
 
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