What I can do/ can't do with my husband - sex

[Hoosier_Daddy]

That’s an interesting idea. Is being degrading objective or subjective?

If you think it’s degrading, is it degrading for other people, too?

While some things are subjective. Like a blindfold for example. Others are obviously not. For instance, if a couple likes to engage in extreme pain or bloodletting then that is degrading even if they think it is an act of love.

 

[Boatswain2PA]

My understanding is that Pope John Paul’s “Theology of the Body” is the best reference for this, and has pretty much said that anything you and your husband want to do, as long as it allows for the openness of life and is done in love, is ok.

My wife and I were just talking about this the other day and we found this web-site. WARNING: This has a lot of very, very graphic discussion, but it is not pornographic in nature. It is a blog from a woman who describes her conversion from a self-described whore to Catholic housewife, and her struggles to find what Catholic sex with her husband is supposed to be like. The language she uses is graphic, but she uses such language not to be shocking, but to be very clear and concise. At the bottom of her blog there is a lengthy discussion with other Catholics, some who agree, some who disagree, and a lot who thank her for FINALLY having a place to have this discussion. There were several times when my wife and I were reading this that we both broke out into unrestrained laughter.

theramblingsofacrazyface.wordpress.com/2014/07/03/im-gonna-talk-bout-sex-for-a-minute/

My opinion, and my apologies for making this “edgy”, is that Catholic sex can, and should, be regular, hot, boring, steamy, long, quick, passionate, hard, soft, morning, day, afternoon, evening, night, middle of the night, in the marital bed, on the floor, in the bathroom, on the kitchen counter, and use every tool God gave us to love each other with. And God should be with you and your spouse every time as you celebrate your sacrament.

In my experience being an incredibly sinful pagan for most of my life, and dating several Catholic women (before eventually converting to Catholicism and marrying my wife) is that most Catholic women don’t know what they CAN do, but they have a long list of things they think they CAN’T do…but most of the things on their “Can’t do that” list fly in the face of JP’s Theology of the Body.

God gave you, and your spouse, your wonderful body’s with which to enjoy your marriage together with. Go do it!

 

[bisco]

i’m more concerned with what your thinking while the other person is tied down or blindfolded. if this is to help with impure thoughts, it might not be a good idea. pretending your spouse is someone else is not a good thing.

 

[fpt]

Dear all,

Little personal question, I understand everything about sex and the openness of life.

But what I’m unsure about is, if you want to make sex more exciting?

Does the catholic church allow you to use blindfolds, tied to a bed etc (nothing graphic or dangerous), as long as you both consent and are open to life? or would it seem like you are becoming more of an ‘object’ and against what God wants for your sex life?

Not sure if it’s a sin or not?

Thoughts?

The conjugal erotism of the union of bodies between husband and wife, in the human fashion, with sexual cooperation, that respects the moral order of this particular act, is morally good. The will of trying to intensify the conjugal sexual pleasures and the conjugal orgasms, in the conjugal tenderness and in the conjugal love, in the context of the marital act, is not morally wrong, per se. The will of avoiding the conjugal sexual routine is a good idea within the couple.

*What is that conjugal erotism? *That is the question!!! *Each couple must search it and each couple must create it: liberty and creativity in the respect of the moral order!!! *In reality, there are the normal and legitimate fantaisies and the wrong fantaisies. How to identify the good one from the wrong one??? What are the good criterias???

 

[fpt]

Dear all,

Little personal question, I understand everything about sex and the openness of life.

But what I’m unsure about is, if you want to make sex more exciting?

Does the catholic church allow you to use blindfolds, tied to a bed etc (nothing graphic or dangerous), as long as you both consent and are open to life? or would it seem like you are becoming more of an ‘object’ and against what God wants for your sex life?

Not sure if it’s a sin or not?

Thoughts?

Read the Holy bible, you can find out some information on the Holy Erotism of the union of bodies between husband and wife. In the Holy Bible, there are sentences focusing on the reserved acts to spouses.

For instance: Song of Songs; … It is not my business to make a list, but you can, if you have time.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

My understanding is that Pope John Paul’s "Theology of the Body

 

[Boatswain2PA]

Pope John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body”. What are you confused about? Am I wrong??

 

[JamalChristophr]

My understanding is that Pope John Paul’s “Theology of the Body” is the best reference for this, and has pretty much said that anything you and your husband want to do, as long as it allows for the openness of life and is done in love, is ok.

Excuse me, but before you go saying JPII’s Theology of the Body says, it’s fine to do whatever I would definitely like you to cite a specific quotation before you make such an assertion.

I’d love to eat my words in the case that I’m wrong, but I think you are totally off base in such a statement.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Excuse me, but before you go saying JPII’s Theology of the Body says, it’s fine to do whatever I would definitely like you to cite a specific quotation before you make such an assertion.

I’d love to eat my words in the case that I’m wrong, but I think you are totally off base in such a statement.

Yes, it is the sexual equivalent of “well Vatican two changed all that.”

 

[Boatswain2PA]

Excuse me, but before you go saying JPII’s Theology of the Body says, it’s fine to do whatever I would definitely like you to cite a specific quotation before you make such an assertion.

I’d love to eat my words in the case that I’m wrong, but I think you are totally off base in such a statement.

I don’t have a specific quotation, and I have not read it personally…but reading other’s excerpts from it led me to believe this.

I’m not saying it says “anything goes”, but rather that JPII clarified that our bodies are, indeed, a playground for our spouses enjoyment - specifically talking about the woman’s pleasure.

Am I wrong? Perhaps I should read the whole thing…

 

[JamalChristophr]

I don’t have a specific quotation, and I have not read it personally…but reading other’s excerpts from it led me to believe this.

I’m not saying it says “anything goes”, but rather that JPII clarified that our bodies are, indeed, a playground for our spouses enjoyment - specifically talking about the woman’s pleasure.

Am I wrong? Perhaps I should read the whole thing…

I would say that sex is holy, and one should be careful with the playground analogy. A direct quote would be better, and I myself should have read Theology of the Body by now. I was hoping someone here has read it. In unabridged form it is a collection of talks given in JP II’s Wednesday Audiences, and for many it might be too daunting a task to read all of it. It’s a lot. Most of the time TOB is transmitted in secondary works.

It is nicely broken down though if a person wants to tackle it as a whole, but there has been plenty of secondary books on it. Not sure which is best.

ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/JP2TBIND.HTM

 

[Boatswain2PA]

I would say that sex is holy, and one should be careful with the playground analogy. A direct quote would be better, and I myself should have read Theology of the Body by now. I was hoping someone here has read it. In unabridged form it is a collection of talks given in JP II’s Wednesday Audiences, and for many it might be too daunting a task to read all of it. It’s a lot. Most of the time TOB is transmitted in secondary works.

It is nicely broken down though if a person wants to tackle it as a whole, but there has been plenty of secondary books on it. Not sure which is best.

ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/JP2TBIND.HTM

I’m reading it now. Lots of great things in there, how Adam wasn’t merely put into a sleep, but rather regressed to more of a state of pre-creation when Eve was created…

 

[JamalChristophr]

Good for you! I’m sure it is well worth a read. It would be great reading material in a book club for those who have an appetite for such topics. JPII rocks.