What if a "dead" spouse returns?

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LaSainte said:
That is so.sad. Imagine being married for a year to someone, they “die”, and you marry someone else and have 6 kids over a 20 year period and some of them are still young. You just have to LEAVE? How terrible, especially for the husband whose wife just takes his kids and walks out. Not great for the wife either, who now has to go and live with a virtual stranger as his spouse and all that entails. For the kids, it is a nightmare.
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It is good for us to discipline our imagination. And not give too much thought to such an unlikely and rare tale 🙂

(nor would it play out the way that one* imagines* anyhow…)
 
LaSainte said:
That is so.sad. Imagine being married for a year to someone, they “die”, and you marry someone else and have 6 kids over a 20 year period and some of them are still young. You just have to LEAVE? How terrible, especially for the husband whose wife just takes his kids and walks out. Not great for the wife either, who now has to go and live with a virtual stranger as his spouse and all that entails. For the kids, it is a nightmare.

Wouldbthere be any kind of dispensation possible, even from the pope? I’m guessing no?
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What about the poor “dead guy” Lost at sea for 20 years, or falsly imprisoned in another country, or a POW, comes home and finds his wife “married” to some one else. Maybe all he did to get through his ordeal is remember good times with his wife.

Also for the second husband, he doesn’t need to lose custody of his children and give them to the first. The wife does not need to move in with the first husband with her children.

The most imprtant part for the wife is to not cohabit with the 2nd husband. That could be done possibly by them living as brother and sister until the children grow, or perpetually. I’m not sure she needs to drop everything and go live with the first husband.
 
LaSainte said:
What if someone’s spouse was lost at sea or something, was declared dead and his wife remarried and had children, only for the original spouse to be found years later? How does the Church handle this type of situation? I’m sure it has happened before, especially during the Crusades when husbands would basically disappear for years on end.
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Skeptic92 said:
If the original spouse never died, then the vows of marriage was never completed, and the marriage was still valid, therefore the new “marriage” would be null and void, as the remarried spouse was already married validly in the eyes of the church.
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purplesunshine said:
I think that the church would take this on a case-by-case basis.

If a woman marries a man and he goes to war, dosn’t return and is presumed dead, she falls in love, remarries and has a couple young chilren then husband 1 comes back after 10 years I do not see how a just church would have the woman shatter her family to be “morally” correct.
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Keep in mind the Church has the power to bind and loosen (Matthew 18:18), so it would make sense that the Church would most likely annul the first marriage due to the extraordinary circumstances.
 
JonathonofOhio said:
Keep in mind the Church has the power to bind and loosen (Matthew 18:18), so it would make sense that the Church would most likely annul the first marriage due to the extraordinary circumstances.
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Yes the Church has the authority to “bind and loose” but such does not mean that the Church can just do anything… The Church can not permit say adultery etc.

An annulment is the finding that the first marriage was in fact invalid from the get go. It is not a dissolving of a marriage.

The extraordinary circumstances themselves of this fictional case do not effect the reality of the validity of that marriage. If that marriage was a valid consummated sacramental marriage it remains so until “death do you part”. Actual death.
 
Mary_Gail_36 said:
What about the poor “dead guy” Lost at sea for 20 years, or falsly imprisoned in another country, or a POW, comes home and finds his wife “married” to some one else. Maybe all he did to get through his ordeal is remember good times with his wife.
.
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Yeah, that’d be terrible
 
Mary_Gail_36 said:
Also for the second husband, he doesn’t need to lose custody of his children and give them to the first. The wife does not need to move in with the first husband with her children.
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The children could stay with their father, but the woman would sin gravely if she refused to live together with her true husband.

Practically speaking, I expect that a civil divorce would be filed, and an annulment sought. Nonetheless, from the instant the woman’s husband returned, she must live according to the presumption that the first marriage was valid. It would be prudent for the woman to separate herself from the second man, and perhaps required in order to avoid scandal.

Assuming then that the first marriage is NOT found to be null, that is, it was a true marriage, then the woman would absolutely have to separate herself from the second man, if she had not already done so, and if the woman’s true husband wished to live together as husband and wife, then the woman would have to do so on pain of grave sin.

Once again practically speaking, I imagine most people in the situation these days would decide to lie to themselves and tell themselves that God will understand the tough situation and stay with the second spouse, thus most likely condemning themselves to Hell.
 
A good lesson to take from this discussion is, “Don’t remarry until you have positively identified, embalmed and/or cremated, and then buried the body of your original spouse.”

If they are merely “missing” or if the body was not recognizable, take up the single life - just in case!

I should think. 😛
 
I think the biggest problem with this thread is that many are trying to live by the letter of the law instead of the spirit. I do not know how such a situation would be handled but I am sure that the proper Church authorities would do more than just say* “you must go back to your first husband or you are living in sin.”* Extraordinary circumstances often elicit extraordinary solutions.
 
Timothysis said:
I think the biggest problem with this thread is that many are trying to live by the letter of the law instead of the spirit. I do not know how such a situation would be handled but I am sure that the proper Church authorities would do more than just say* “you must go back to your first husband or you are living in sin.”* Extraordinary circumstances often elicit extraordinary solutions.
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The proper Church authorities would more properly say “you must live a chaste life, or with your husband (meaning the first, as the second marriage wasn’t valid), seek a civil divorce, and then annulment”, if the first marriage was found to be valid, the woman was not free to marry and therefore would either have to live a chaste life until the death of her first husband (actual death) which would leave her free to remarry in the eyes of God.

We may not like it, but a marriage is for life, which means the vows are not completed until the moment ones soul reaches the feet of God and receives judgement (the moment of actual death).
 
Timothysis said:
I think the biggest problem with this thread is that many are trying to live by the letter of the law instead of the spirit. I do not know how such a situation would be handled but I am sure that the proper Church authorities would do more than just say* “you must go back to your first husband or you are living in sin.”* Extraordinary circumstances often elicit extraordinary solutions.
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You are wrong.

The Church cannot do anything other than tell the truth, and the truth in this case, is that the woman is still married to the first man and, being married to the first man means (obviously) that she cannot be married to the second man.

In this case, the second man has no right to her companionship and the first man has every right to her companionship. No one is denying that it would be a tough situation and there would be hardship, but those are the facts.

I hope that any person finding themselves in such a situation would accept the hardship for the sake of Heaven, rather than choosing an eternity in Hell for the sake of an easier few years on Earth.
 
Skeptic92 said:
The proper Church authorities would more properly say “you must live a chaste life, or with your husband (meaning the first, as the second marriage wasn’t valid), seek a civil divorce, and then annulment”, if the first marriage was found to be valid, the woman was not free to marry and therefore would either have to live a chaste life until the death of her first husband (actual death) which would leave her free to remarry in the eyes of God.
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She could not choose to live a chaste life if her true husband (the first) did not agree to it. Every husband has a right to the companionship of his wife and every wife has a right to the companionship of her husband.
 
Nothing to add to the Church side of things here, but I’d recommend The Return Of Martin Guerre for something similar to this issue. The film with Gerard Depardieu is hard to find, but a good one. The fictional novella, The Wife of Martin Guerre, by Janet Lewis, is excellent.
 
Timothysis said:
I think the biggest problem with this thread is that many are trying to live by the letter of the law instead of the spirit. I do not know how such a situation would be handled but I am sure that the proper Church authorities would do more than just say* “you must go back to your first husband or you are living in sin.”* Extraordinary circumstances often elicit extraordinary solutions.
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I habitually avoid commenting in threads dealing with Matrimony, but I’m making an exception in this case only to say that I believe you’re 100% correct.
 
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