Our evaluations of any facts, whether a church’s teachings or Scripture itself, is always fallible. This is the human condition and will never go away until we know as we have been known.
Yes, its like saying “you can’t judge for yourself” and then showing you texts throughout history and certain scripture and saying “here, judge for yourself”. I agree (obviously) that there seems to be evidence to support the historical nature of the Catholic church, I do see, to some extent, scriptural support for it as well, but I just as easily see some JW beliefs, relativism, and all sorts of things people support with scripture (albeit, not to the extent that I see validity in the Catholic church’s claims). I also realise that not everything is what it seems. History and the way it is interpreted and presented is not flawless either. Everything is not always what it is presented as. Thats why, 2000 years later, I can only accept that it is more a matter of conscience and intention than intelligence. Thats also why if I cannot wholeheartedly embrace at least most if not all of a particular church’s beliefs it would be impossible for me to just blindly accept it on faith. Faith has to be based on something. If my conscience tells me its wrong, I cannot choose to exercise faith in it anyway.
Meats offered to idols were not considered unclean (in truth), yet it was deemed sin for someone who considered it unclean to consume it anyway. Whatever we do must be done in faith. Choosing to go against what one perceives to be right would be sinful if we look at it in the light of this scripture.
I’m not saying I think the Catholic church is wrong about anything it teaches, just that I cannot yet in good conscience practice it or accept it all as truth and I don’t know if I ever will. I am trying to be a Catholic by will and not by faith. This seems wrong to me.
It isn’t just Scripture that has made me question this either (although it was originally b/c I didn’t actually know any Mennonites) Experience has taught me that the Mennonite faith works and Catholicism has not. This is not a blanket statement - I’m talking strictly about my own experience and witness of this particular church (not all Mennonites are conservative either. I do not accept the practices of the liberal, boston congress for instance). Of course, no one knows the heart of another person so I cannot exactly judge entirely, but what I’ve witnessed and experienced is all I have to go by. As a Catholic, baptism and confirmation were only rituals for me; something I was told I had to do and then I would be left to make my own decision. I know this is wrong. I also know its not Catholic teaching, but nonetheless it was this way, not just for me, but for many of my peers as well. Confirmation was like graduation. Most of us never intended to commit to being Catholic and most of us didn’t return to church after confirmation. Instead of making it routine to confirm teens, it should have been our choice in the first place. Kind of like a “believers baptism” if you will. Since, as infants, we cannot make the choice to be Catholic or even Christian, it is Confirmation when this choice should be made. But how can you expect a person to make that choice at a prescribed time? Perhaps a person should be allowed to request Confirmation instead of routinely having teens make it when they are 15 or 16 (or whenever it is).
I see Mennonites (and like groups) being raised in the love of and fear of the Lord and go on to commit their lives to the gospel as they’ve matured. I’m not saying Catholics don’t, but I myself have never experienced it, nor have I witnessed it. I have, however, witnessed it in the Mennonite community. I see their lives of faith in action and I see that their beliefs and practices work. Is it perfect? I am not that naive. Again, I cannot know the heart of another. Perhaps there are many hypocrites. I’ve no doubt there may be some.
So, I’m not saying the Catholic church is wrong, or that the Mennonites are right, but since I cannot say for certain exactly what the truth is, I wonder if I should just follow my conscience and go with what I believe the Bible teaches and go with the church that best represents that and lives it out.