What if my wife is already pregnant?

[ahollars]

I am a married father of four, and number five is on the way. My wife and I briefly talked about this during her last pregnancy, but it was never an issue that time. I have read numerous sources who all say that the marriage covenant must be open for life at all times. I agree and accept, but I admit, a few years ago, it wasn’t always practiced.

I heard Father Corapi say in one of his talks that oral sex and masturbation within the context of matrimony is allowed, but only for the purpose of leading to consummating the marriage properly.

My question is, since my wife is already pregnant, does the act of the marriage covenant still need to practiced in the way which brought forth life? (Please don’t make me say it explicitly ) My wife and I are… adventurous… with our affection with one another. I’m having trouble typing this with civil language. Does pregnancy grant a “temporary pass” to “have fun”? The answer is elusive, because I can’t find anywhere if someone has asked and/or answered this question. We would like to know.

BTW, the main prayers I really need right now are prayers to keep me humble enough to give thanks to God for everything He has given us. Life has been very good to our family. :grouphug:

 

[EmBee]

I can’t give the best answer (someone else will in a moment), but this has been asked before and the answer is no. There is one set of rules regarding the marital embrace, and you seem to know them already. Be wary of being too “adventurous”; it can possibly lead to lust and treating one’s partner as an object. Remember, God gives us boundaries for our own good.

–

 

[ComputerGeek25]

I understand where you are comming from and this is where church teaching is bit harder to get.

But the jist of the churches teaching is that one can never frustrate the procreative aspect of the act through contraception or “adventerous” acts. Even though there are times when conception is out of the realm of possibility.

 

[Em_in_FL]

The marriage act must always fulfill two requirements… to be unitive and procreative.
Procreative means “in a fashion that could bring about life if fertility is open”…

In other words… no, the marriage act must always be completed in the proper manner (meaning the husband must consummate inside the wife)… simply because she’s already pregnant does not mean that can change because that would also be against the “unitive” aspect.

HTH!

 

[LJN21]

Number one: There is no unitive aspect in mutual masturbation. Unity is not derived form mutual pleasure but the complete act of give of self.

Number two: The act must always be ordered toward life, regardless if the woman is pregnant, post menopausal, or infertile. The fact she’s already pregnant has no real relevance to the topic.

 

[whatevergirl]

I will add too…we are not the sum total of body parts, but rather, when we give ourselves through the marital embrace, it is in body, mind and spirit. It’s hard to do that, when we zero in only on ‘one’ body part. When you give your entire body over, a whole different experience happens–a BETTER one. Took my dh and I to do a complete about face on this matter, and I was a virgin when we married…ignorance is bliss, I guess.

 

[1ke]

My question is, since my wife is already pregnant, does the act of the marriage covenant still need to practiced in the way which brought forth life?

Yes.

Does pregnancy grant a “temporary pass” to “have fun”?

Having fun and following God’s Law regarding our sexuality are not mutually exclusive. But, if by “have fun” you mean engage in disordered acts that are non vaginal intercourse, then the answer is “no.”

The answer is elusive, because I can’t find anywhere if someone has asked and/or answered this question. We would like to know.

Pregnancy does not change the moral law regarding the proper order of sexual activity. It must always be ordered to life giving acts. This means completed acts of vaginal intercourse.

 

[ahollars]

I figured that was the answer. No worries. I’m not disagreeing. I just hope my wife doesn’t blush if she comes across this conversation!

 

[Lucky7]

Where are you guys getting that other sexual acts in marriage are sinful? I don’t see it in the Catechism at all and I would think that the Catechism would be very clear on this. Where it does discuss that “every marriage act” needs to be procreative and unitive they are specifically talking about the conjugal act and how it relates to the sin of contraception (ie. it refers to *Humanae Vitae *which talks about the regulation of births).

 

[LJN21]

Where are you guys getting that other sexual acts in marriage are sinful? I don’t see it in the Catechism at all and I would think that the Catechism would be very clear on this. Where it does discuss that “every marriage act” needs to be procreative and unitive they are specifically talking about the conjugal act and how it relates to the sin of contraception (ie. it refers to *Humanae Vitae *which talks about the regulation of births).

Look up what it says about masturbation.