What if obligations offend and hurt?

[SpeakKindly]

If there’s something important going on in the life of a family member (baptism for example), and we’re obligated to go to church for Sunday Mass, how should we approach the subject without seemingly ditching the family member in a huge step in their life and pushing them away from the Catholic Church?

Just thinking about this because I made another thread asking if I’d be in mortal sin to not attend Mass if there’s a schedule conflict. Posters said that it wouldn’t be right basically.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Masses are held at a variety of times. If a family event is on Sunday morning, you could go to Mass on Saturday evening, very early on Sunday morning, or Sunday evening. If you’re near a college with a campus ministry, they may even have a late Mass on Sunday – 8pm or 9pm for example. Masstimes.org is a great resource for checking on times at other parishes.

If you’re going to another area, masstimes.org is again a good source to check on where Catholic churches are located and what times they have Mass available.

If attending Mass is a priority, there’s a good chance you can do it without ditching your family.

 

[domNoah]

If there’s something important going on in the life of a family member (baptism for example), and we’re obligated to go to church for Sunday Mass, how should we approach the subject without seemingly ditching the family member in a huge step in their life and pushing them away from the Catholic Church?

Just thinking about this because I made another thread asking if I’d be in mortal sin to not attend Mass if there’s a schedule conflict. Posters said that it wouldn’t be right basically.

Generally baptisms done on Sunday do so before or after Mass so there should be an opportunity to attend Mass at the parish they are being baptized at.

 

[marbleartist]

I had the same experience last weekend. My grandchild was baptized at a Protestant church on Sunday morning- and obviously it was a VERY big deal to all of us in the family! Additionally, my husband and I had both gone through RCIA later in life, so some of our children were already confirmed in the Protestant church and are very active members. We attended Saturday Vigil Mass before meeting with the family for dinner. We also had scoped out some Sunday evening Mass times, in case the dinner was earlier than the end of Mass. There are so many Mass times that it wasn’t too difficult to work in Mass in a very inoffensive way. I would suggest doing some research and planning the Mass attendance in a time that doesn’t coincide with the family celebration! The baptism wasn’t in our hometown, so we did have to do some research. Good luck!

 

[LongingSoul]

If there’s something important going on in the life of a family member (baptism for example), and we’re obligated to go to church for Sunday Mass, how should we approach the subject without seemingly ditching the family member in a huge step in their life and pushing them away from the Catholic Church?

Just thinking about this because I made another thread asking if I’d be in mortal sin to not attend Mass if there’s a schedule conflict. Posters said that it wouldn’t be right basically.

Baptisms that aren’t part of a Mass only go for half hour or so and perhaps with lunch afterwards, a couple of hours. There are generally a good range of Mass opportunities within the 24 hours between Saturday and Sunday night to make one of those.

 

[Avocadomom]

In any given area, there are usually opportunities to attend Mass from 4 PM on Saturday until 6 PM on Sunday. Just find the one that is the least disruptive to the plans and go. Surely no one expects to monopolize a full 24 hours of your life.

Obviously, if the obligation is an emergency, and going to Mass would literally harm others, then there is no requirement to attend.

 

[St_Francis]

If there’s something important going on in the life of a family member (baptism for example), and we’re obligated to go to church for Sunday Mass, how should we approach the subject without seemingly ditching the family member in a huge step in their life and pushing them away from the Catholic Church?

Just thinking about this because I made another thread asking if I’d be in mortal sin to not attend Mass if there’s a schedule conflict. Posters said that it wouldn’t be right basically.

In the extremely unlikely event that the non-Catholic baptism is in a time a place so situated that one cannot both attend and go to Mass, just say, “I am soooo sorry to be unable to attend–I have a prior commitment. (I am so happy/honored to be invited.) I will be praying for all of you and hope to be able to see you and the baby soon!”

If they have a baptism in a place that remote, you probably wouldn’t be the only one unable to attend. Even some of the non-Catholic invitees may not make it

 

[underacloud]

Apart from all the comments above, it should be added…

your priest can dispense the Sunday obligation. Talk to him before the event, explain the circumstances, and if there is no feasible way you can attend mass and this important family event, then your obligation can certainly be dispensed.

Naturally it’s a judgement call about what events are important enough to ask for a dispensation, but for serious family events it is not unreasonable to ask and discuss with your priest, and attend the event in support of your family.

 

[maryjk]

Apart from all the comments above, it should be added…

your priest can dispense the Sunday obligation. Talk to him before the event, explain the circumstances, and if there is no feasible way you can attend mass and this important family event, then your obligation can certainly be dispensed.

Naturally it’s a judgement call about what events are important enough to ask for a dispensation, but for serious family events it is not unreasonable to ask and discuss with your priest, and attend the event in support of your family.

Exactly.

The point is, you have to plan ahead. Chances are you knew about your family member’s baptism before this morning. So, once you found out about it, you should have started to plan what to do. By waiting until this morning to think about it, you missed the chance to attend Mass last night or to attend earlier this morning. You also missed the chance to speak with your pastor. Next time, figure it out well before the event. Most locations have multiple Mass times, not all, but most.

 

[Anglewannabe]

If there’s something important going on in the life of a family member (baptism for example), and we’re obligated to go to church for Sunday Mass, how should we approach the subject without seemingly ditching the family member in a huge step in their life and pushing them away from the Catholic Church?
.

IMO I like to give the impression that my faith is the most important thing in my life and I would not miss mass for anything. Of course I would be polite and say ‘I am terribly sorry but I can not miss mass’. Being a devout practicing Catholic means attend mass every week. If the obligation is going to push people away from the church, I think it is best to be upfront and let them know the truth than to misrepresent the teachings in order to supposedly ‘save the reputation of the church’