What if the annulment isn't granted?

[markomalley]

No. At the time we were engaged, I was very ignorant of my Catholic faith, but somehow knew I needed to speak with my local priest about the upcoming marriage since I was marrying a non-Catholic Christian and that we wanted to be married in a different church. We both met with him on several occasions and did a type of marriage prep. He informed us that she would need to get an annulment. She told him that her ex-husband was a baptized Catholic and that they were not married in the Catholic Church. The priest told us this should be a simple “lack of form” annulment. To make a long story short, her ex’s baptismal record could not be found and still can’t be found. The priest then told us that he could essentially grant the annulment and that we were free to marry outside the Catholic Church. We did that. He told me that our marriage was convalidated and that we did have a dispensation and that our marriage was valid and sacramental. .

First of all, it appears to me that the first situation is really clear:

Can. 1108 §1. Only those marriages are valid which are contracted before the local ordinary, pastor, or a priest or deacon delegated by either of them, who assist, and before two witnesses according to the rules expressed in the following canons and without prejudice to the exceptions mentioned in cann. ⇒ 144, ⇒ 1112, §1, ⇒ 1116, and ⇒ 1127, §§1-2.
§2. The person who assists at a marriage is understood to be only that person who is present, asks for the manifestation of the consent of the contracting parties, and receives it in the name of the Church.

If he, in fact, was Catholic at the time of their marriage and did not receive a dispensation, the marriage would be undoubtedly invalid for lack of form. [Keep in mind that this is the opinion of a layman and not a canonist…]

You go on to say, The priest then told us that he could essentially grant the annulment and that we were free to marry outside the Catholic Church. We did that. He told me that our marriage was convalidated and that we did have a dispensation and that our marriage was valid and sacramental.

If this priest was empowered to grant the annulment (something, frankly, I can’t imagine, but anyway…) and had convalidated your marriage (he probably meant that the dispensation to marry outside of the Catholic Church), then I can’t comprehend why your wife would need to seek an annulment in the first place. If your priest says it’s all hunky-dory then why are you now seeking an annulment? Sounds like, according to this priest, it’s all taken care of.

 

[Seatuck]

ewtn.com/library/CURIA/CDFDIVOR.HTM

 

[Lampo]

ewtn.com/library/CURIA/CDFDIVOR.HTM

Thanks. I will need to reread it. One question I have at this point. If I’m not allowed to go to confession, what if I die with mortal sin on my soul? What do I do if I want to repent but not permitted to?

 

[markomalley]

Thanks. I will need to reread it. One question I have at this point. If I’m not allowed to go to confession, what if I die with mortal sin on my soul? What do I do if I want to repent but not permitted to?

The priest who counseled you made this statement, according to your earlier post:

The priest then told us that he could essentially grant the annulment and that we were free to marry outside the Catholic Church. We did that. He told me that our marriage was convalidated and that we did have a dispensation and that our marriage was valid and sacramental. .

Go to confession. Tell your confessor that in your confession. If you tell your confessor that in your confession, there is absolutely no reason for you not to be absolved (myself, I question whether a mortal sin has been committed, given the above statement. For something to be a mortal sin, you must have full consent of the will. If the statement above was valid, then you are sacramentally married. If it was incorrect, then you were, in good faith, following the advice of your spiritual father)

Ask him what you need to do and follow that advice.

Pope Pius IX made the statement in his 1863 encyclical, Quanto Conficiamur Moerore,
*Because God knows, searches and clearly understands the minds, hearts, thoughts, and nature of all, his supreme kindness and clemency do not permit anyone at all who is not guilty of deliberate sin to suffer eternal punishments. *

So if you were, in fact, acting in good faith based upon the advice you received from a Catholic priest and that was, in fact, bad advice, the fault lies with the one giving you the advice.

 

[Lampo]

So if you were, in fact, acting in good faith based upon the advice you received from a Catholic priest and that was, in fact, bad advice, the fault lies with the one giving you the advice.

That is truly what I believe. The priest essentially admitted that when I called him.

This whole process would be so darn easy if someone could just locate my wife’s ex-husband’s baptismal record!

 

[Phemie]

That is truly what I believe. The priest essentially admitted that when I called him.

This whole process would be so darn easy if someone could just locate my wife’s ex-husband’s baptismal record!

It certainly would.

One thing that jumps at me though, in reading your story, is that the priest said you had been granted a dispensation for a lack of form wedding. That would mean that he submitted everything to the Bishop for his signature, including the information about your wife’s prior marriage. That seems highly unlikely, considering he didn’t have the ex-husband’s baptismal certificate which would be necessary to prove that a lack of form marriage occurred.

It’s not outside the priest’s purview to determine that a lack of form marriage occurred. Since it doesn’t require a decree of nullity, having never been considered valid in the first place, in our diocese all the priest who prepares a couple for marriage has to do is fully document a previous ‘lack of form’ marriage (i.e. have the recent baptismal certificates of both parties, the marriage certificate showing where the marriage was celebrated and who the officiant was and the divorce papers) in the pre-nuptial investigation. He doesn’t have to submit it to the Tribunal.

Of course once we get our new bishop he may change that and want things submitted to the Tribunal as an extra safety measure. But it’s still just an administrative action, no annulment is granted since none is needed.

 

[Tigg]

ewtn.com/library/CURIA/CDFDIVOR.HTM

I so appreciate your posting this because it very clearly states the damage done by false teaching. Lord have mercy! That which was seriously wrong became the norm. Sadly, I know in many parishes across the country, the error continues.

We see a glaring sign even within our own community. We are fortunate to have a good pastor who upholds truth and when the call was issued to our congregation for EMHC, we remained seriously short of the numbers needed, for so many cannot present themselves for this ministry due to their own divorced, re-married situation.

This document still makes me think we are seeing an above average number of annulments, but the Church, in her pastoral love, must do all she can to bring about full communion of the faithful.

 

[Tigg]

I know a couple that while they were granted a Decree of Nullity they were also enjoined against after marrying within the Catholic Church again due to the defect of their maturity level and having it determined that they can not truly understand the concept of a sacramental marriage.

Thank you – this is good to know and from my understanding it is one of the things Pre-Cana was supposed to do. I know all precautions are taken and the process must be gotten through, but still…….all those annulments???

One question I have at this point. If I’m not allowed to go to confession, what if I die with mortal sin on my soul? What do I do if I want to repent but not permitted to?

I agree with the above poster’s comments and you were misled, acting in good faith. The All-merciful Lord is the reader of hearts; as such you can always repent; perhaps you meant to use the word absolution? Only unrepented mortal sin brings about eternal death.

vatican.va/archive/catechism/p3s1c1a8.htm

 

[1ke]

Thanks. I will need to reread it. One question I have at this point. If I’m not allowed to go to confession, what if I die with mortal sin on my soul? What do I do if I want to repent but not permitted to?

If you live in continence (from now until your marriage situation is resolved, and beyond if the prior marriag is found to be valid) you certainly can receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation and resume the sacramental life.

also, I am so sorry the priest you went to originally led you astray. I can only hope it was an innocent mistake on his part (bad enough) and not something more sinister (purposely disregarding Church teaching). If you have any suspicion of the latter, you need to report him to the office of the clergy in his diocese.

 

[1ke]

Living as brother and sister, is considered impossible by the Church except for Saints.

Laszlo,

You are:

(a) wrong

and

(b) unnecessarily burdening the OP with your inaccurate respresentation of the Church’s teaching on this matter.

The Church’s actual teaching on this topic:

The faithful who persist in such a situation may receive Holy Communion only after obtaining sacramental absolution, which may be given only "to those who, repenting of having broken the sign of the Covenant and of fidelity to Christ, are sincerely ready to undertake a way of life that is no longer in contradiction to the indissolubility of marriage. This means, in practice, that when for serious reasons, for example, for the children’s upbringing, a man and a woman cannot satisfy the obligation to separate, they ‘take on themselves the duty to live in complete continence, that is, by abstinence from the acts proper to married couples’"(8). In such a case they may receive Holy Communion as long as they respect the obligation to avoid giving scandal.

From:

vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_14091994_rec-holy-comm-by-divorced_en.html

 

[Lampo]

If you have any suspicion of the latter, you need to report him to the office of the clergy in his diocese.

I don’t have suspicion of that. Thanks for your advice and insight.