Joe, thank you for your thoughtful response. I am not saying that I disagree with you on these things, I am just saying that I’d like some more support for some of your statements.
Sure. Thanks for the additional questions. It helps me think through and better articulate what I’m getting at.

This idea pops up a lot, so I want to get better at explaining it.
So, here are my questions/responses:
- What says that the government has an obligation to be involved in marriage? I’m not an expert, but I don’t believe it’s in our constitution. Is there an authoritative document that spells out the responsibilities of government? (again, these are honest questions, not arguments)
I’m not thinking so much of any particular constitution as I am the Church’s teaching on civil authority. This section in the Catechism is helpful for background:
CCC 1897-1927.
In a nutshell, the human community needs an authority to look after the common good. And since the family is the “
original cell of social life.” (
CCC 2207), the civil authority will always have a duty to safeguard and protect marriage and the family.
This is the ideal, of course, and our civil authorities might not see it the same way. But as Catholics, I think we ought to strive to move our civil authorities closer to the ideal.
- In the scenario I’m proposing, I don’t think there is any legal recognition of same sex marriages, as there would be no legal recognition of marriages of any kind. There is recognition of contracts between people about how they intend to live, but government only recognizes a contract once there is a judicial process necessary to interpret said contract.
Okay. Sometimes this idea gets raised in the context of proposing “civil unions” as a replacement word for marriage, so that’s the angle I was coming from.
I still would question whether or not this is simply marriage by another name. If two people (provided they are not Catholics bound by the form set out in Canon Law) wish to solidify their relationship by entering into a legal contract whereby they make certain commitments, what is that if not marriage?
- What is the benefit of “Catholics” getting married in the Church if they are just lying about their intentions anyway? (ie. willing to accept children and bring them up in the faith… try to get each other to heaven, etc.)
Fair enough. Certainly, we don’t want Catholics lying about their intentions. There is a widespread lack of understanding of marriage in our culture in general.
I don’t know that I have a fully formed answer to this question. For me, it seems to touch on a larger issue of what inward disposition and catechetical formation is required for a Catholic to receive
any of the sacraments. In other words, we might ask the same question “What is the benefit of Catholics getting confirmed (or receiving the Eucharist, etc.) in the Church if they are just lying about their intentions anyway?”
I don’t really have a good answer. We want to educate Catholics about the nature and purpose of the sacraments. And anyone who would lie about their intentions only does so to their own detriment. But I hesitate to make too stringent of criteria as I fear that could be counter-productive.
I suppose it’s a balancing act between making light of the sacraments (which we don’t want to do) and becoming an elitist Church for only theologians (which we don’t want to do either). Trying to navigate between the two pitfalls is tricky business. If I ever figure it out, I’ll write abook about it.
- The term “civil union” would also disappear, as it is a nonsensical term in the proposed scenario. So, protestants who were married in a protestant church who later become Catholic would have the same issues they have now. A couple who was atheist and living in some contractual arrangement who later became Catholic, could renounce their adulterous ways, and actually get married (just as couples who are cohabitating before marriage are asked to do now).
I’m no canon lawyer, so I certainly cannot speak on behalf of Tribunal offices, but it strikes me as a real possibility that any contractual arrangement cooked up by the government to replace marriage would naturally follow pretty much the same form as marriage and thus still be a valid marriage in the eyes of the Church.
Of course, a lot of this depends on how the contract is set up. If it is set up with a built in pre-nuptial agreement, then I suppose that could invalidate things from the start. But if it was set up as is natural to be set up (two people committing to each other and joining their life together), then that sounds like marriage to me.
I am genuinely interested in your thoughtful responses. Again, I’m certainly not trying to pick a fight, but I am trying to reason through this idea.
Thank you.
Hopefully my responses are thoughtful.

I appreciate the questions. It’s good to talk through these things. This is an issue that is only looming larger and larger in our society. We want to make sure we can speak to it.
Thank you, too.
