What if we love other women after we got married

[dumbseeker]

Sometimes we will encounter some difficulties in marriage, and we will love other women then our own wives. What should we do?

I am asking this for a friend. He’s struggling with this issue.

 

[udoc89]

He should cling to his wife, forsake all others, and redouble his efforts to be a godly husband.

Just because he has the feeling of love (or lust) for some other woman, does not mean that he must act on it in a physical way. If he is a Catholic, he should already know this; if he is not you may have to spend some time convincing him that he will be committing a grave sin if he pursues a relationship of any kind with a woman other than his wife.

Good luck.

 

[dumbseeker]

He should cling to his wife, forsake all others, and redouble his efforts to be a godly husband.

Just because he has the feeling of love (or lust) for some other woman, does not mean that he must act on it in a physical way. If he is a Catholic, he should already know this; if he is not you may have to spend some time convincing him that he will be committing a grave sin if he pursues a relationship of any kind with a woman other than his wife.

Good luck.

Can he get a divorce since he doesn’t love his wife any more? Why should remain together if there is no love?

 

[1ke]

Can he get a divorce since he doesn’t love his wife any more?

Uh, no.

Why should remain together if there is no love?

Why should God save us when we are so unworthy of it?

Love is a choice we make, not a feeling. Christ showed us the model of love when he gave up his life for us. Christ is the Bridegroom and the Church is his Bride. Our human marriages are to image that-- totally self-giving, faithful and permanent.

 

[buckr02]

Can he get a divorce since he doesn’t love his wife any more? Why should remain together if there is no love?

Because he said “until death do we part” not “until death do we part… or once I decide I want to leave”

 

[rwoehmke]

Sometimes we will encounter some difficulties in marriage, and we will love other women then our own wives. What should we do? I am asking this for a friend. He’s struggling with this issue.

He would be strange indeed if he never has difficulties in his marriage. I have been married for almost fifty years to the same woman and I can tell you there are plenty of ups and downs. It is the nature of marriage. In that fifty years I recall that on at least two occasions, once during our first year of marriage and once at about ten or twelve years there were two women to which I was strongly attracted.

I understood that pursuing a relationship with either one was to betray my wife. Such sporadic attractions are the nature of being human, but one does not have to act on such attraction. In fact one might be wise to flee from it. Love is not always warm and fuzzy feelings, sometimes it is painful, but marriage is for better or worse, in good times and in bad. I found that to expect the sun to shine every day is not facing reality. Hang in there and eventually the sun comes out again and the clouds dissipate.

Like the lady said, divorce in order to try for better luck next time is not an option. Be a man, as man was meant to be, faithful and true. .

When we marry we make a promise to remain together till death parts us

 

[KingAlfred]

Sometimes we will encounter some difficulties in marriage, and we will love other women then our own wives. What should we do?

I am asking this for a friend. He’s struggling with this issue.

He might not actually love the other woman. It could be infatuation. If it’s love, then perhaps he has committed adultery. Lustful feelings are natural, in my opinion, but sinful, and something the Christian must struggle to suppress and abandon. It’s a war for many.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Because he said “until death do we part” not “until death do we part… or once I decide I want to leave”

That is exactly what I wanted to say. It is for you (as a friend) to step up and tell your other friend about ther importance of the vows he took before God. There are many options out there for struggling marriages most importantly www.retrouvaille.org

Time to step up and be a man, stop making excuses and do what it takes to fix the marriage.

 

[StCsDavid]

Sometimes we will encounter some difficulties in marriage, and we will love other women then our own wives. What should we do?

I am asking this for a friend. He’s struggling with this issue.

Love is a choice. So the obvious answer is to choose not to love these other women. No doubt one will always be attracted to other women. That’s normal and even healthy. To act upon that attraction, to proactively entertain the feeling, is a disordered response if one is married.

Marriage is a vocation. It’s hard work. Having been with my wife for 20 years I can say it’s the most rewarding work one will ever do. No where can one achieve as close an approximation to our ultimate union with the Trinity than in a sacramental marriage…and no where can one experience as close an approximation to the ultimate loss that is Hell.

In difficult times it helps to view the marriage in its entirety, which means not just an eye on the past or focus on the present, but a looking ahead to the future. What God has joined can not be broken; so the marriage is a reality to either be accepted and worked with or denied and violated. That is the choice.

 

[Seatuck]

Sometimes we will encounter some difficulties in marriage, and we will love other women then our own wives. What should we do?

I am asking this for a friend. He’s struggling with this issue.

You put any attractions you have for others aside if you are married. This is not real love. Love wills what is best for another person. It does not seek to drag another person into a sinful adulterous relationship. Love wills us toward God not sin.

Love is a decision. When we find our feelings for our spouse waning we need to take action to do something about it. We need to make decisions to do what is best for our spouse.

If a married person realizes they have feelings for another. They have to realize the problem is within themself. They are the one who needs to change. The need to turn up the loving acts toward their own spouse.

 

[funnyyetsavvy]

Sometimes we will encounter some difficulties in marriage, and we will love other women then our own wives. What should we do?

I am asking this for a friend. He’s struggling with this issue.

I am greatly concerned that there would be any presupposition that there would be a need to love other women while married. That is a potentially adulterous thing to decide to get involved with. So, then, would the spouse be informed of these ‘other women’ so she could get tested for possible STD? Could she then get involved with some ‘other men’?

Puh-lease.
If there is difficulty in the marriage, focus on the marriage.

 

[Morwenna]

Why should God save us when we are so unworthy of it?

**Love is a choice we make, not a feeling. ** Christ showed us the model of love when he gave up his life for us. Christ is the Bridegroom and the Church is his Bride. Our human marriages are to image that-- totally self-giving, faithful and permanent.